ABC's New Ten Commandments

http://www.slate.com/id/2139612/ ^ | Rainman

[RainMan]

Dougray Scott, currently the star of NBC's Heist and most famous as the villain of Mission: Impossible 2, trots out much scowling anger and sulking angst in the lead role. This is Method Moses. Tonight, back from his conference with the burning bush and heading toward Egypt, he stumbles over a rock and mutters, "You'd think if this is what He wanted He'd make the going a little easier." Tomorrow, he furrows his brow and frets, " 'I am who I am.' What does that mean? Why give me a riddle to solve?" And while he struggles with his faith, he's got to cope with logistics. When Aaron says, "The well's run dry. We need you to tell us where to go next," Moses sighs and manages a shrug. Is this the prince of Egypt or a shift manager at Starbucks? p>

[RainMan]

Did anyone else see ABC's new attempt at the Ten Commandments last night? Even Slate is panning it ...

The acting is horrible, but worse, is the interpretation of the bible. Was anyone else outraged by the rewriting of the bible?

The plagues were all the fallout of turning the Nile to blood ... so therefore they were not plagues themselves, but continuations of the first plague and therefore explainable without supernatural intervention.

Pharoh did not call for the last plague, he offered peace and negotiation but Moses would have none of it ... obviously making Moses an unreasonable lunatic. Then, Moses tells the people to take blood left over in the preparation of their meals and spread it over their doors ... for no reason. Aaron does both the parlor tricks ... um, miracles (turning the staff into a snake and turning the Nile Red ... but they show Pharoh's sorcerers doing similar things) ... and Moses speaks to Pharoh with a firm authoritative voice.

Moses ... in fact most of Egypt, apparantly had an English accent and both Moses and the Pharoh were lily white. My wife and I became disgusted with this by 10:30 and turned it off ... we are hoping it never comes back.

[Darkwolf377]

Good thing that Dougray Scott had to give up the role of Wolverine in X-Men (he was cast but filming on Mission Impossible 2 went long and he had to withdraw). He's pretty bad.

[Billthedrill]

'I am who I am.' What does that mean?

It means that somebody's gonna get punched out after Moses eats his spinach.

[freedumb2003]

The only screen Moses:

[Choose Ye This Day]

I didn't see it. But is it's anything like that horrible Noah movie one of the networks tried a few years ago...

What is WRONG with them? Why do they feel the need to dumb down and sex up the stories?

[Polyxene]

As I said in another post, to me, the ONLY movie about the Ten Commandments is Cecil B. DeMille's. You cannot top a cast like this:
Charlton Heston
Yul Brynner
Anne Baxter
Edward G. Robinson
Yvonne De Carlo
Debra Paget
John Derek
Sir Cedric Hardwicke
Nina Foch
Martha Scott
Dame Judith Anderson
Vincent Price
John Carradine

[Always Right]

(AP) April 1, 2005 - Due to a Pending lawsuit filed by the ACLU, ABC's version of the Ten Commandments will be re-titled to the Ten Nice-to-do's. All reference to god will be dubbed over to Alf.

[martin_fierro]

Edward G. Robinson

"Yeah, Moses, sheee? I'm gonna rub ya out, sheeee? Yeah, rub ya out!"

[Blzbba]

I didn't watch the first one due to its cheesy effects so saw no reason to waste time on last night's.

Your review confirms my decision!

[Chewie84]

"Aaron does both the parlor tricks ... um, miracles (turning the staff into a snake and turning the Nile Red ... but they show Pharaoh's sorcerers doing similar things)"

Well, in the Bible, with the first two incidents (The staff becoming a snake and the river becoming blood), Pharaoh's sorcerers WERE able to duplicate those occurrences, though the snake conjured by Moses and Aaron swallowed the snakes that the Egyptian sorcerers conjured. I didn't see the ABC movie (From the way you describe it, I'm glad), but one movie I'd recommend watching for that aspect of the story would be the animated film "The Prince of Egypt." In the scene where the rod becomes a snake, Pharaoh's head sorcerers (Played in that version by Steve Martin and Martin Short) sing a rather catchy song called "Playing with the Big Boys Now." The song was supposed to be about how Moses was so inferior to the powers of the sorcerers, but as you watch the scene, you can tell that the opposite is true. It becomes clear that the "Magic" the sorcerers use is just smoke and mirrors and sleight of hand, while Moses and Aaron have the real power of God at their disposal. This point is reinforced later when, to duplicate Moses's miracle of turning the river to blood, the sorcerers simply add some red powder to a bowl of water to make it look like blood. "The Prince of Egypt" was a really great movie, I'll need to rent it when I'm done with school in a couple weeks.

Btw, in the ABC movie, how is it that the other plagues are all linked to the Nile turning to blood? I mean, how could a river turning into blood cause thunder and hail to strike Egypt, or cause locusts to devour all the remaining crops?

[N. Theknow]

I mean, how could a river turning into blood cause thunder and hail to strike Egypt, or cause locusts to devour all the remaining crops?

Same way Karl Rove made a hurricane hit New Orleans.

[RainMan]

Well, when the Nile turns to blood, all the fish die, and all the frogs leave the river to cover the land, then because of no water the animals died, then with the lack of animals, the locusts came. The hail came and the Pharoh got ticked and threw a sorcerer out into it and he got Toyota'ed (you know, the commerical where the Toyota gets hit by a meteor), but the storm only lasted long enough for Pharoh to get to the door, toss the sorcerer out, then go back to brooding on a step holding his son ... then an eclipse hit that lasted about 20 seconds, which after it passed, the Pharoh stood up, still holding his son, laughing it off.

Moses does not "call" any of the plagues. Pharoh is never told what is about to happen.

Moses' staff kills, but does not eat the sorcerer's staffs. It then jumps back to Aarons hand like an obediant lap Cobra, leaving the two other lifeless snakes in front of the Pharoh.

[Polyxene]

LOL! Thanks for the pic! Loved Edward G. Robinson!

[NCC-1701]

"...Why do they feel the need to dumb down and sex up the stories?..."

Just my $.02. The country has been dumbed down so much by the libs, dimoCRACKS, and pc crowd that they feel that the sheeple can't handle anything REALLY deep and thought provoking. The ones that put out this stuff are products of that environment and can't help themselves. They show their IQ's when tackling this type of subject matter. They should stick with Bozo the Clown and Boo Boo Bear. They excell in that arena.

[Ludicrous]

I was very disappointed to see that the Charlton Heston Ten Commandments would not be playing on any cable station this year. I really enjoy that film. The "reviewers" on IMDB call it campy, but that does not change my opinion that it is a great classic.

My spouse quotes the movie for weeks after viewing.

Me: I'm making some cheeseburgers.. mmKay?
Him(in his deepest voice): So Let It Be Written, So Let It Be Done!

[Caramelgal]

My favorite line from the Ten Commandments, I think spoken by Pharos wife, is; “Oh Moses. You silly goose”!

My favorite Charlton Heston line is from Ben Hur; “We keep you alive to serve this ship, row well so you may live’’ and of course from another movie: “Soylent Green is People!”