Posted on 03/30/2006 9:36:04 PM PST by MadIvan
Samantha of Sex and the City, it is fair to say, would not approve. The casual attitude to sexual relations embraced by the most liberated of the characters in the television series turns out not to reflect the views of 21st century women quite as well as widely imagined.
Researchers investigating female attitudes to sex and their sexuality were surprised to find that most women have rather more traditional, conservative views on one-night stands than they expected.
Around nine out of 10 of those questioned felt casual sex was immoral and that those women who engaged in it were not doing so primarily for pleasure.
They said they felt sorry for women who had one-night stands, that they were lacking something in their lives and if they had not simply lost control through drink and drugs they were seeking emotional rather than physical connection.
Dr Sharron Hinchcliffe, a psychologist from the University of Sheffield, presented her findings at the annual conference of the British Psychological Society in Cardiff yesterday.
Dr Hinchcliffe said: "Our results did not fit in with the image we have of today's independent woman who can go out and get sexual fulfilment without the ties of a relationship.
"There was a view that if women had one-night stands they were doing it for reasons other than their own pleasure, more out of a feeling of being desperate, needy or looking for something, or that they had lost control through drink or drugs.
"They said they did it for reasons that were different to those of women in relationships - which they said were for pleasure and to express their love for their partner. They defined it as deviant behaviour.
"They referred to the women as emulating male behaviour. It was certainly the view that it was not the way women should behave.
"Some of the respondents said these things even though they admitted they had had one-night stands themselves. I was surprised at how judgmental they were.
"It makes me question whether women have really gained all the sexual freedom they are supposed to have gained since the Sixties."
Dr Hinchcliffe and colleagues carried out in-depth interviews with 46 women selected from the electoral roll aged 23 to 83, with an average age of 48.
Around 10 per cent of the sample disagreed with the majority view of "no strings" sex as immoral. Dr Hinchcliffe said that if anything the women in their early thirties were more negative about one-night stands than those of women in their fifties.
Some of the participants also expressed concerns about women having casual sex exposing themselves to sexually transmitted disease.
A survey of 1,095 men and women carried out on behalf of Amnesty International UK and published in November found that more than a third of people believed a female rape victim was totally or partially responsible if she had behaved in a flirtatious manner with her attacker.
Dr Tuppy Owens, of the Sexual Freedom Coalition, a group that campaigns for sexual freedom between consenting adults, said: "I don't like the expression 'one-night stand'.
"Two people just banging away at each other can be pretty meaningless and an empty experience, unless there is some passion, care and feeling towards the other person. However, if you go out wondering what might happen, ready to give as well as receive, you might have the most wonderful adventure.
"Perhaps if they had asked the questions in a different way they would have got different answers."
Norman Wells, the director of Family and Youth Concern, said: "It shows that most women are seeking more than the fleeting gratification that temporary sexual relationships can offer.
"Sexual intimacy was never meant to be engaged in outside the context of lifelong union between one man and one woman.
"By divorcing sex from marriage in our thinking and in the sexual education given to children and young people, we are promoting something that runs contrary to our basic longings for stability, permanence and commitment."
And in any age a good man is harder still.
This is exactly right. A person with a negative worldview will filter their experiences through their negative prism. That just reinforces their negativity. Left all alone, it gets worse, not better.
By the way, check out my new FR profile page! ;-)
Exactly right. It's insane, really.
So far you seem safe, but I'll keep my eye out.
Good job, Coop! : )
aka the FR Angry Estrogen Army.
Oh... that sounds scary!!
Speaking as a Freeper man, with some posters you just can't win. I have many times defended western women and called out the offending male poster. In some cases, it got me public and private acknowledgment. In other cases, it raised the ire of both men and women. Indeed, I was ranked the #2 Neanderthal of FR partly because of it by a FR female.
It's a thankless endeavor in many cases. That discourages the behavior on the part of other FR men, and doesn't encourage it.
I know at least one woman who is downright terrifying!!!
There's a reason I typed that in small font.
People come to NYC for very specific reasons. Not surprisingly, open space isn't one of them.
And that's coming from one of the damn most respectful Freepers out there! Good job, Pinky!!!
Yes, I figured that...
Anyway, I must go visit some thing called Freeptoon...
I'm sorry if I gave the impression that men are good.
Men are as bad as the women will let them be. If a woman says no, its no.
Women have always controlled sex. To believe otherwise is to be delusional.
Hey! Where did your tagline go?
I took it off the other day on a prayer thread. I forgot to put it back on.
Ya know, THAT'S CRAP. I've spoken with women from my mother's generation. On a RARE occasion they met men who were as they termed them, "fresh." But most of the men they dated were perfect gentleman (and they dated many men). They didn't have to say NO or fight them off.
No, what you said is CRAP!!!
You are very rude. I wasn't.
Get a life.
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