Posted on 03/30/2006 9:36:04 PM PST by MadIvan
Samantha of Sex and the City, it is fair to say, would not approve. The casual attitude to sexual relations embraced by the most liberated of the characters in the television series turns out not to reflect the views of 21st century women quite as well as widely imagined.
Researchers investigating female attitudes to sex and their sexuality were surprised to find that most women have rather more traditional, conservative views on one-night stands than they expected.
Around nine out of 10 of those questioned felt casual sex was immoral and that those women who engaged in it were not doing so primarily for pleasure.
They said they felt sorry for women who had one-night stands, that they were lacking something in their lives and if they had not simply lost control through drink and drugs they were seeking emotional rather than physical connection.
Dr Sharron Hinchcliffe, a psychologist from the University of Sheffield, presented her findings at the annual conference of the British Psychological Society in Cardiff yesterday.
Dr Hinchcliffe said: "Our results did not fit in with the image we have of today's independent woman who can go out and get sexual fulfilment without the ties of a relationship.
"There was a view that if women had one-night stands they were doing it for reasons other than their own pleasure, more out of a feeling of being desperate, needy or looking for something, or that they had lost control through drink or drugs.
"They said they did it for reasons that were different to those of women in relationships - which they said were for pleasure and to express their love for their partner. They defined it as deviant behaviour.
"They referred to the women as emulating male behaviour. It was certainly the view that it was not the way women should behave.
"Some of the respondents said these things even though they admitted they had had one-night stands themselves. I was surprised at how judgmental they were.
"It makes me question whether women have really gained all the sexual freedom they are supposed to have gained since the Sixties."
Dr Hinchcliffe and colleagues carried out in-depth interviews with 46 women selected from the electoral roll aged 23 to 83, with an average age of 48.
Around 10 per cent of the sample disagreed with the majority view of "no strings" sex as immoral. Dr Hinchcliffe said that if anything the women in their early thirties were more negative about one-night stands than those of women in their fifties.
Some of the participants also expressed concerns about women having casual sex exposing themselves to sexually transmitted disease.
A survey of 1,095 men and women carried out on behalf of Amnesty International UK and published in November found that more than a third of people believed a female rape victim was totally or partially responsible if she had behaved in a flirtatious manner with her attacker.
Dr Tuppy Owens, of the Sexual Freedom Coalition, a group that campaigns for sexual freedom between consenting adults, said: "I don't like the expression 'one-night stand'.
"Two people just banging away at each other can be pretty meaningless and an empty experience, unless there is some passion, care and feeling towards the other person. However, if you go out wondering what might happen, ready to give as well as receive, you might have the most wonderful adventure.
"Perhaps if they had asked the questions in a different way they would have got different answers."
Norman Wells, the director of Family and Youth Concern, said: "It shows that most women are seeking more than the fleeting gratification that temporary sexual relationships can offer.
"Sexual intimacy was never meant to be engaged in outside the context of lifelong union between one man and one woman.
"By divorcing sex from marriage in our thinking and in the sexual education given to children and young people, we are promoting something that runs contrary to our basic longings for stability, permanence and commitment."
Me too. I am glad to be out of that business of dealing with the women of today. After ten years of wedded bliss, I could not imagine it.
"OH, IF YOU MEAN THE WHORES AND THE MURDERERS AND THE RAPISTS, THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, NOW YOU CAN BURN IN HELL WITH ALL THE REST OF YOUR TERRIBLE FRIENDS FOR YOUR HATEFUL BLASPHEMING, YOU BIG FAT POOPY-HEAD!!!!!!!"
thought I'd go ahead and put that in there so that others around here won't have to bother.
That's mighty kind of you young lady.
To be able to post your thoughts and flame yourself so your "friends" don't need to wake up - that's truly special.
You know me, I am nothing if not considerate of others.
Actually - it doesn't matter what your views are on Sex, Smoking, Feminism, the color mauve, Peanut or Plain M&Ms, etc.
I'm a Republican/Conservative Patriot because I want to win the WOT and I want smaller government, strong military, less taxes, less government interference, blah blah blah -
To tell me what to think about other issues won't make me a better Republican.
Also remember - All Republicans aren't Christians, some are even Atheists, some Jewish, whatever - so don't assume we all read and agree with "your" bible and "your" social mores.
Some even like SouthPark!
;-)
And (not to make any broad or sweeping generalizations myself) they are usually big fans of foreign brides.
I know this is, "outdated", "out of touch", ""unrealistic", "sexist", "racist", etc, etc, etc.
Or, at least that is what the Neanderthal FReeper men and RWOS women will say about me.
After all, today, most CHURCHES do not even strive to teach their teens about sexual purity. "too fanatical and out of touch with reality", they say. And that was 22 years ago!! Not much has improved, I imagine!!
BEEP ... WRONG!
You don't understand us RWOS gals, do you!
I think what you say is terrific. I just don't want you to make statements about others who have decided for whatever reason that those rules don't apply to their lives.
Respect my life and I'll respect yours.
does this mean that only 10% of women are servicing all one night stands?
LOL!
yeah.......riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight....
well now we know how dependable POLLS are....
What makes you think I'm a feminist?
I am strongly against feminism as defined as oversensitivity to perceived slights, plus paranoia about men's intentions and willingness to get shrewish like the mother in that video...
Ummm... me too.
Not really. I don't understand this pervasive minset among many males on FR. There is no shortage of quality women. Not at all.
Where are you looking? Giving into temptation and doing something stupid doesn't necessarily make a woman into a bad woman. Good girls make mistakes, too. Good girls have regrets. Same for decent men. Life goes on - don't hold past indiscretions against a person. Fairly evaluate who they are now. And maybe they will extend you the same latitude.
It's a lot easier to find a quality person if you are a quality person yourself. Also helps to not have a negative view about an entire sex.
The strange subset of FR under the 'American Women Suck' banner makes no sense to me. It's not conservative at all. With opinions like I have heard, it's not surprising that a lot of people don't find a quality romantic companion.
Yes on the former, but I have no conclusion on the latter. I think one thing both men and women have a hard time understanding is that people tend to want a pleasant mate. Undue negativity isn't attractive. Most people understand this at a very early age. Many go to their graves never understanding it.
I agree. There are dedicated anti-women posses and dedicated anti-men posses on FR. That both are populated mostly by people with no romantic companion isn't at all surprising, really.
I've met many a self-centered man in my life, far more than my share, but wouldn't dream of characterizing all men that way, particularly on a conservative forum. I know better.
That saying about a woman scorned is far more appropriate to men. And too many males on FR like yourself, are the proof.
"What part of no don't you understand
To put it plain and simple
I'm not into one night stands
I'll be glad to explain it
If it's too hard to comprehend
So tell me what part of no
Don't you understand"
Umm... Also, what is RWOS?
Both sexes misbehave. To suggest otherwise is not only unfair but a lie.
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