Posted on 03/13/2006 6:56:21 AM PST by conservativebabe
In The Feminine Mystique, the late Betty Friedan attributed the malaise of married women largely to traditionalist marriages in which wives ran the home and men did the bread-winning. Her book helped spark the sexual revolution of the 1970s and fueled the notion that egalitarian partnerships—where both partners have domestic responsibilities and pursue jobs—would make wives happier. Last week, two sociologists at the University of Virginia published an exhaustive study of marital happiness among women that challenges this assumption. Stay-at-home wives, according to the authors, are more content than their working counterparts. And happiness, they found, has less to do with division of labor than with the level of commitment and "emotional work" men contribute (or are perceived to contribute). But the most interesting data may be that the women who strongly identify as progressive—the 15 percent who agree most with feminist ideals—have a harder time being happy than their peers, according to an analysis that has been provided exclusively to Slate. Feminist ideals, not domestic duties, seem to be what make wives morose. Progressive married women—who should be enjoying some or all of the fruits that Freidan lobbied for—are less happy, it would appear, than women who live as if Friedan never existed.
(Excerpt) Read more at msn.com ...
Your thoughts ping?!
Interesting article, your thoughts?
This begs the question: Are militant feminists unhappy because they're militant, or militant because they're unhappy?
After digging through Slate to find the rest of Meghan's article, it was well worth it.
A great read and I rather agree with the conclusions throughout.
Sorry about that. I'll post the link to make it easier for everyone else.
http://www.slate.com/id/2137537/?GT1=7932
Good article. I have yet to meet a happy "progressive" of either sex; single, married, gay, or whatever.
Just proves the further failure of the feminist movement. I love being a "traditional" wife and mother and so do most of my stay-at-home mom friends.
I don't think "Progressives" are happy in any area of their lives, so this study doesn't surprise me.
I think you're right.
I did the SAHM stuff, too. Loved it. My son is in college now, and out on his own.
I firmly believe that a woman can have it all...just not all at once. :)
I wouldn't know what it's like to be a domestic lady...
but I certainly wouldn't mind finding out!
one thing I would do is volunteer - for the ballet, the symphony, the church.
Ditto.
I have pointed out for some years that "gay", for the last couple of decades, means exactly the opposite of its original definition.
This feminist obsession with who is doing the most housework is more than a little bizarre. Every successful two-career couple I know hires maid service - they don't sit there sniping at each other over who didn't do what this week.
Whether feminists are happy or not has less to do with the future of society than who men will choose for their wives and the mothers of their children.
Countless articles have been written about what women want, or what makes women happy, but little about the choices men make.
Men are hardwired differently than women, as are their needs. Men wants sons who will live after them. Marriage gave women certain social "rights" in exchange for bearing their husband's sons. Men still produce sons, but "progressive" women have largely given up the security marriage gave them. Thus, the reason for feminists unhappiness.
"Traditional" women, on the other hand, seem to have "gotten it right", and are ignoring the failed concepts of feminists. Thus, the reason for traditionalist's happiness.
Heck,
Anyone married to me would HAVE to hire a maid service. I do yards, but I've yet to figure out what is ths phobia about dust and spiders ;)
'sides, once you've cleaned house, then six months later, you have to do it all over again.
This just confirms my theory that "progressives" are just unhappy misfits who want to blow up a well-functioning system just because they are unhappy.
Totally agree with you. We are wired differently, just a biological fact.
Your theory is spot-on.
I think happiness and joy are two different things. Happiness is a state of pleasure, contentment and satisfaction with one's circumstances. The key to happiness is not the circumstances, but your perception. Some people who are poor, ill, or facing terrible trials in life are happy, and some people who are rich and live lives of ease are unhappy.
Joy, on the other hand, comes from within, an assurance of the reality of good that cannot be affected by outside circumstances. In the case of evangelical Christians (who seem to confuse the authors), joy comes from the knowledge of the reality of their salvation, from a real and living relationship with Christ, from the certainty that in spite of difficulties, God is on his throne, that He is good and in control, and that all will be right in the end.
I had four long labors, unmedicated. [I'm not advocating this for everyone -- it just worked for us.] The pain was strong and real, but it was manageable. The labor coaches tell you that it is "pain with a purpose." That's the way evangelicals [should] look at trials in life -- pain with a purpose which ends in an event of unspeakable joy. This is an aspect not considered by the authors when pondering why evangelical women forced into the workforce by circumstances are still happier.
I don't enjoy housework. But when I face the pile of laundry, I often think how fortunate I am to have clothes to wash. When I do the dishes, I try to remember how blessed I am to have food on the table. (And I throw in some prayers for my hubby, his employer, and those less fortunate.) When I mop the floors or dust the furniture, I think of times when I wasn't sure I'd have a home, and of people who do not. When our children are driving us crazy, I thank God that they are strong enough to cause such commotion. I try to look at the less pleasant parts of my life as pain with a purpose, and my perception is that my work is a result of my blessings. I feel happy because I am blessed, and because I'm doing what I'm called to do at the present. I enjoy the company of my children. I am pleased to have the opportunity to teach them and to share with them the important events in their lives. I feel joy because I know that my seemingly menial acts have eternal consequences.
Women often have difficulty knowing what they want in life. It's not easy. If you stay at home, you often don't get much respect. When I could tell people "I am a CPA," I got a certain look of respect or even admiration.
When I tell people I am a stay-at-home mom . . .
with four children . . .
whom I homeschool . . .
well, I often get looks of abject fear, as if my decision were contagious. Or I get the "Oh, that's really nice, but I'd go crazy if I had nothing more intellectually challenging than housework -- translation: a simple-minded woman like you, on the other hand, gets plenty of fulfilment out of laundry, dishes and diapers.
Working women face condemnation for their decisions as well. We should really all stick together, but sadly, I think we women are often our own worst enemies.
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