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Microwaved Penis Turns Out To Be Fake
The Indy Channel ^ | February 27, 2006 | AP

Posted on 02/27/2006 5:31:39 AM PST by Abathar

PITTSBURGH -- It turns out the microwaved penis was a fake.

A convenience store clerk in the Pittsburgh area was freaked out when she thought she had put a severed penis in the store's microwave oven.

The clerk said a couple came into the store and asked her to heat up something for them. The clerk did and caught a glimpse of what she thought was a penis wrapped in paper towels.

McKeesport police Chief Joseph Pero said the woman who came into the store with the fake penis was actually trying to cheat on a job application drug test.

Prosthetic penises that contain drug-free urine are sold on the Internet. According to the woman, the couple stopped to warm the device in the microwave so the urine would pass the body temperature test.

Police plan to interview the woman Monday.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: failedthedopetest; hatewhenthathappens; newsofthewierd; urinetroublenow
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To: Dashing Dasher; TheMom
This job my kill me yet.

This dog bite me once!

81 posted on 02/27/2006 8:52:28 AM PST by Eaker (My Wife Rocks! - There's no problem on the inside of a person that the outside of a dog can't cure.)
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To: Eaker; TheMom
This dog? or that dog?


82 posted on 02/27/2006 8:54:33 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (I prayed, 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.)
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To: Abathar

I once helped a friend in the Marines try to pass his surprise urine test. He came to me panicked, gave me the key to his room and wanted me to get a vial he had stashed. He was a friend, and out of loyalty I ran about a mile to bring him back his vial in a few minutes with my piss in it.

That should be the end of the story, but in his panic he gave the testers the vial from his room, slightly different from the one they gave him. Long story short, big mess. He was dumped from the corps. I didn’t get caught, but I think that I lost the trust of some important people who suspected me.


83 posted on 02/27/2006 9:08:37 AM PST by elfman2
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To: Junior

Now we can all rest easy. No one was maimed. They were just really stoopid!


84 posted on 02/27/2006 11:37:20 AM PST by cjshapi
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To: cjshapi

What a d---!


85 posted on 02/27/2006 12:01:16 PM PST by Junior (Identical fecal matter, alternate diurnal period)
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To: Trailerpark Badass
Prosthetic penises that contain drug-free urine are sold on the Internet.

this whole story leaves a sour taste in ones mouth

86 posted on 02/27/2006 3:15:42 PM PST by Revelation 911 (God is love, Love endures forever, Love God, Love your neighbor, Vengeance is mine)
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To: StarCMC

Thanks muchly.


87 posted on 02/27/2006 8:27:09 PM PST by Slings and Arrows ("Facts are a Zionist plot!" --MarkL)
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To: martin_fierro

Here's my spoof from a year ago



HI I'M BILLY MAZE. I SCOLDED YOU ABOUT OXYCLEAN and ORANGE-GLO,

NOW I WANT TO SCREAM LIKE A BANCHEE ABOUT A FANTASTIC NEW PRODUCT THAT PISSES AWAY TOUGH TESTS

INTRODUCING THE WHIZZINATOR 5000

IT'S UNDECTABLE

FOOLPROOF

AND RE-USABLE...

WATCH HOW THIS PRO FOOTBALL PLAYER JUICED WITH STEROIDS AND A WEEKEND OF LOVEBOAT AND EIGHTBALLS PISSES HIS WAY THROUGH A CLEAN EXAM!

WHIZZINATOR EVEN WORKS GREAT ON PUTTING OUT SMALL FIRES!

WATCH HOW I PISS ON THE NEIGHBOR'S DOG THAT RUINED MY PRIZE WINNING ROSE BUSHES!

EVEN GREAT FOR FOR A SENATOR'S SECRET FETISH!

YOU CAN EVEN MICROWAVE IT FOR THAT WARM FEELING IN YOUR PANTS!

GET WHIZZINATOR AND SAY GOODBYE TO TESTING!

(Voiceover) Buy The Whizzinator in 4 easy payments of $100. Order now and we'll include a CD "Sounds of Waterfalls, Streams, and Trickling Faucets," three free wee wee pads, and fifteen tubs of Oxyclean. ORDER NOW!

THE WHIZZINATOR What a pisser!


BILLY MAZE HERE AGAIN.

I MAKE MAD, LOUD PASSIONATE LOVE TO MY WIFE BUT LIKE MOST WHITE GUYS I CAN STAND TO USE A FEW EXTRA INCHES...

THANKS TO SPACE AGE SCIENCE THE WHIZZINATOR 5000 HAS COME UP WITH A BRAND NEW WHIZZINATOR

COLORED IN DARK BROWN THE WHIZZINATOR (LDS--Long Dong Silver) IS SURE TO IMPRESS FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE

(Voiceover) Buy a Whizzinator 5000 (LDS) in four easy payments of $500 and well rush you a free CD from 50 Cent and Al Green absolutley free.

Whizzinator 5000 LDS: Black Power!


88 posted on 02/28/2006 9:43:41 AM PST by sully777 (wWBBD: What would Brian Boitano do?)
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