Scientists: masturbation not as good as sex

The Register (Geeks ,,, Who Else?) ^ | Thursday 23rd February 2006 | Chris Williams

[texas booster]

*** And you thought you just weren't doing it right ***

A swift one off the wrist - easy, convenient, refreshing - but just not the same as the real thing, perhaps.

Reporting in the journal Biological Psychology, researchers have now found a basis in physiology for the niggling dissatisfaction.

Levels of the hormone prolactin are lower after masturbation than intercourse. Prolactin makes us feel satisfied by counteracting the arousal messenger dopamine.

The levels of prolactin in the blood of subjects who committed an act of self-pollution after watching grumble flicks were just one fifth of those who had had actual sex in the lab. Still, either way, nice work if you can get it.

The scientists say the difference also explains why men may need a "recovery period" after forming The Beast with Two Backs, but can happily nip to the loo for five minutes, make the bald man cry, then get straight back to work.®

[coop71]

Rodney Dangerfield on sex (paraphrased): "I remember my first time...It was dark, I was scared...I was alone..."

[smug]

I walked into a bar and saw a man pouring beer on his had. I said, "what are you. doing".
"Trying to get my girl friend drunk", he replied.

"I like to lay on more arm till it's numb. That way it's feels like someone else is doing me".

[Lazamataz]

Scientists: masturbation not as good as sex

[R. Scott]

I wonder if the kids were paid piece work.

[wolfcreek]

If you promise never to show that picture again, I'll promise to quit.

[cjshapi]

Yeah, I find it much easier when someone else does most of the work!

[6ppc]

I wonder if online submission is allowed?

Wouldn't that make a mess of your monitor?

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

I see you are contributing to science again, Laz.

[Lazamataz]

I see you are contributing to science again, Laz.

"Blinded Me With Science" -- Thomas Dolby, 1982

[stylin19a]

I suppose it depends if it's done alone or with somebody

[Jersey Republican Biker Chick]

They say you can go blind from it.

[MotleyGirl70]

"I'M OUT! I'M OUT OF THE CONTEST!"

[Cagey]

My mother had a Glamour magazine, I started leafing through it......

[MotleyGirl70]

[MotleyGirl70]

Peter (to Lawrance): "What would you do if you had a million dollars?"

[smith288]

My mother had a Glamour magazine, I started leafing through it......

Glamour? JC Penny lingerie section was fine during my rookie season.

[Cagey]

ROFLMAO!

[InterceptPoint]

I'm curious. I wonder what finished in third place.

[sassbox]

[Hoplite]

Scientists: masturbation not as good as sex

Scientists report results as: "Fap, fap... feh."