Posted on 02/03/2006 6:49:46 AM PST by Xenophobic Alien
"""Eight whole posts before a Hasselhoff picture shows up..."""
Yeah!
It's usually three or four partial posts.
Why do lawyers wear tight ties?
So their foreskin doesn't creep up and cover their face.
What's the difference between a dead lawyer on a street and a dead dog on the street?
There are skid marks in front of the dog.
What's black and brown and look great on lawyers?
Dobermans
What's the difference between a Rooster and a Lawyer?
A rooster clucks defiance.
What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
One in 50,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Why does the American Bar Association prohibit sex between attorneys and their clients?
To prevent the client for being billed twice for what is essentially the same service.
Why do they bury lawyers 27 feet under?
'Cuz deep, deep down, they're good people!
What's the difference between a Catfish and a lawyer?
One is a scum sucking bottom dweller, and the other is a fish.
Why does California have the most lawyers and New Jersey the most toxic waste dumps?
New Jersey had first pick.
How can you tell when a lawyer is well hung?
When you can't get your finger between the noose and his neck.
What the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
The prostitute quits after you're dead!
What's the difference between a porcupine and two lawyers in a BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
Their lips move.
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
Take your foot off it's head
What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?
The bucket.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a duck?
Occasionally a duck will stick its bill up its ass.
If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
It might be your bicycle.
What do lawyers use as contraceptives?
Their personalities.
IB4SP
IN BEFORE SWAYZE PICTURE
What, no ping for me?
Rofl
THE ITALIAN MOTHER
A young Italian man excitedly tells his mother he's
fallen in love and that he is going to get married.
He says, "Just for fun Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.
He then says, "Okay Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The one on the right."
"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"
The Italian mother replies, "I don't like her."
A rat Bolthole.
"We think we have traced the origin of the spread of the amphibian chytrid fungus to the 'frog' pregnancy test for women, which was widely used from the 1930s to the 1960s," said Che Weldon, a zoologist at North-West University who has been researching the phenomenon.
An anxious 15 year old girl comes home from school.
Mum, she asks tentatively, can you get pregnant from anal sex?
Don't be silly of course you can, replies her mother, where do you think lawyers come from?
Don't know him, but sure would like to.
GO STEELERS!
I read that post and now I just wish I had the last minute of my life back.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.