C'mon out 'n play, y'all.
WOOHOO!
Woo Hoo!!! Finally!!! Need more cowbell and caffeine.
Good morning! Top ten?
unemployed once again BUMP!
-Eric
Love the calendar! But some of those guys are just a bit too nice looking. Metro?
Thank you as always. Going to need the silliness today.
Woohoo, I'm early on the thread!
Drunken nun rats out Polish policeman thread http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1557249/posts
There's a joke in there somewhere, but I'm too sick to think.
Nice pic BJC, but you got the liquor wrong. Should have been a Chivas bottle.
Top 100!!! My best ever!!!
Time for heavyweight silliness!
WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT
THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY
Friday January 20th, 2006
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays - Step by Step, with Slide Presentation
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7 p.m.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll - Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? - Group Practice
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 p.m. for 2 hours
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor - Pictures and Explanatory Graphics
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 p.m. for 3 weeks
Class 5
After Dinner Dishes - Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 p.m.
Class 6
Loss Of Identity - Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other
Help Line Support and Support Groups
Meets 4 weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 p.m.
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things - Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 p.m. 2 hours
Class 8
Health Watch - Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health
Graphics and Audio Tapes
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday Friday at 7:00 p.m. for 2 hours
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost - Real Life Testimonials
Tuesdays at 6:00 p.m. Location to be determined
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations
4 weeks, Saturdays Noon, 2 hours
Class 11
Learning To Live - Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife
Online Classes and Role-Playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 p.m., Location to be determined
Class 12
How To Be The Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 p.m.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries
and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered
Three Nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 p.m. for 2 hours
Class 14
The Stove/Oven - What It Is and How It Is Used
Live Demonstration
Tuesdays at 6:00 p.m., Location to be determined
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors
Send this to all the guys that you think can stand the heat, and to all the ladies for the best chuckle of their day
He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake.
My biscuits were too hard...
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and smacked him...
Like his Mother used to do.
Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill Clinton. One smart ass student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories! His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:
Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99
Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read
Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.
Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.
Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.
Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.
Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.
Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.
Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing.