PA. PING!!!
Hey, sticking it to some busy-bodies like MADD doesn't make you guilty of thinking drunk driving is funny.
Whenever I think about MADD I think about all the people who had two glasses of wine with dinner, got caught in a drag net and had their life wrecked with an undeserved DUI charge. It's not about safety or awareness anymore. It's naked lust for power.
Owl_Eagle(If what I just wrote makes you sad or angry,
Hold muh beer and watch this bit of just DAMM humor.
My wife tried to donate her old car to MADD. They were so nasty on the phone she gave it to Vehicles for Change.
We've had two family members killed outright and child in our family maimed and brain damaged all in the same accident by a drunk driver who was (1) here in the country illegally from Mexico (2) had numerous drunk driving incidences and a couple of non-fatal accidents before this happened and (3) had never spent a day in jail before or after this incident. I won't call it an accident because given his prior record, it was only a matter of time before he killed someone.
If you want to know my take on it, drunk drivers should be incarcerated for breaking the law each and every time. There should be stiff penalties, jail time and loss of the ability to drive ever again.
ping
LOL
ROTFLMAO!
This site is so wimpy, it's not even satire. What a waste of a funny idea.
Ping.
After looking at the new t-shirts, ours were definitely better. I hope they aren't trying to sell this as an original idea.
Ah that's just drunk talk, sweet beautiful drunk talk.
Barney Gumbal
I take a whiskey drink
I take a chocolate drink
and when I have to pee
I use the kitchen sink
Homer Simpson
Money gets ya one more round.
Drink it down, ya stupid clown.
Money gets you one more round then you're out on your ass.
Moe Szyslak
Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure... not even close.
Homer Simpson
Bartender, a bottle of bourbon. I just got a new liver and I’m breaking it in.
Colonel Antoine O'Hara (the Rich Texan)
Jeez, is that what I look like when I'm drunk?
Barney Gumbal
This is the stage we call, "Professor Barney" -- talkative, coherent, even insightful. Here's drunk Barney!
Homer Simpson (describing the stages of Barney's drunkeness)
I'm going on a bender to end all benders.
Krusty the Clown
He knows just how I like my martini - full of alcohol.
Homer Simpson
Duffman could use an eye-opener
Duffman
It's 1 AM (sigh). Time to spend some quality time with the kids.
Homer Simpson
We must have really painted the town last night. I have a pounding headache, my mouth tastes like vomit, and I don't remember a thing.
Ned Flanders
When I was seventeen
I drank some very good beer.
I drank some very good beer
I purchased with a fake ID.
My name was Brian McGee.
I stayed up listening to Queen.
When I was seventeen.
Homer Simpson
I'm worried about the beer supply. After this case and the other case - we only got one case left.
Barney Gumbal
I used to rock 'n roll all night and party everyday. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky.
Homer Simpson
My name is Otto. I like to get blotto.
Otto
Your honor, I'd like to represent myself. Drunken hicks of the jury...........
Homer Simpson
Smithers, this beer isn't working, I don't feel any younger or funkier.
Mr. Burns
Marge send the kids to the neighbors. I'm coming home loaded.
Homer Simpson
A-hem. Further to these beer I would like two of your finest cheapest cigars.
Kearny
Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.
Homer Simpson
Acohol and nightswimming. It's a winning combination.
Lenny
To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems.
Homer Simpson
Not an election. Is that one of those deals where they close the bars?
Barney Gumbal
I'd rather have a beer
Than win 'Father of the Year'
Homer Simpson
Stop wallowing in self-pity. Now pull yourself together and come get drunk with us.
Karl
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose. It's how drunk you get.
Homer Simpson
Welcome to the sacred order of the Stonecutters who since ancient times have split the rocks of ignorance which obscure the light of knowledge and truth. Now let's all get drunk and play ping pong!
Number One
Toke as necessary. Warning: Objects may appear more edible than they really are.
Homer Simpson
Fruit rollups for Bart. Beer rollups for Homer.
Marge Simpson
Beer! How did you know?
Homer Simpson
Buy me a beer, two bucks a glass.
Come on, help me, I'm freezing my ass.
Buy me brandy, a snifter of wine.
Who am I kidding? I'll drink turpentine.
Barney Gumbal
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
Homer Simpson
You can't seriously want to ban alcohol. It tastes great, makes women appear more attractive, and makes a person virtually invulnerable to criticism.
Mayor Quimby
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
Homer Simpson
Thinking ain't drinking
Moe Szyslak
Who do I have to gum to get a refill?
Agnus Skinner
The college road trip. What better way to spread beer-fueled mayhem.
Homer Simpson
All right, Homey, you're overstimulated. As soon as we get you home, we'll get some beer into you, and then it's straight to bed.
Marge Simpson
You must love this country more than I love a cold beer on a hot Christmas morning.
Homer Simpson
I'm so drunk I can barely see, But it helps me get through another day,
My stomach is filled with haggis and ham, I've gotta go puke in some hay.
Groundskeeper Willie
Alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.
Homer Simpson
Ok, you have 6 liters of Blood and your blood is 80% Alcohol; how much alcohol do you have?
Duffman
Oh, well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it.
Homer Simpson
Ok, class, today we'll be sitting quietly with the lights off, because teacher has a hangover.
Edna Krabappel
Ah beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel if you will.
Homer Simpson
F*ck YEAH!
I do think that MADD, the target of the spoof, has gone overboard.Even Candy Lightner thinks that MADD has been taken over by neo-Prohibitionists, so the spoof is spot on.
-Eric