Man haunted by sex-hungry ghost seeks medium’s help [China]

The Star ^ | November 19, 2005

[ncountylee]

MAN sought the help of a medium after he got tired of a female ghost who wanted to have sex with him every night for the last 16 years, China Press reported.

The 34-year-old man from Kuala Lumpur, known only as Kelvin, said he felt very tired every night as the long-haired ghost would lure him into making love with her by appearing in different images.

“I have been having bad luck since she appeared in my dream. I have not been able to get married although I have had five girlfriends.

“My employers fired me because I could not concentrate on my work,” Kevin said, adding that he had changed jobs at least 10 times.

Kelvin said his nightmare began when he was 18. He believed that the ghost had attached itself to him when he was at a research institute in Kepong.

When he sought help from a medium, Kelvin was told the ghost was that of a woman who committed suicide after a failed love 30 years ago.

A netherworld “wedding” ceremony was held and the medium burnt three paper dolls – representing the bridegroom, a driver and a maid, to accompany the ghost, the newspaper reported.

The medium also announced during the ceremony that the driver would receive a monthly salary of RM1,000 and the maid, RM800.

Sin Chew Daily reported that a group of people had set up a “lazy-man village” in a rural area in Guang Zhou where they could enjoy a relaxed lifestyle every day.

The group comprised those who did not want to face competition in work; had no interest in earning more money; and did not want to be hardworking.

The village, which now has nine families, came out with a set of rules on working together to farm and to rear livestock for food.

[DeFault User]

Another Succubus story, huh?

[ncountylee]

Another Succubus story, huh?

ROFLMAO

[Charles Henrickson]

Sin Chew Daily

That's what the ghost was trying to get him to do.

[King Prout]

((O..O))
.||...0...||

and why can I never remember martin_fierro's name when I find something needing his wit??? I was racking my brain for his name for the ping I sent out, but...

seriesly: why can't I remember it?

[Charles Henrickson]

a group of people had set up a “lazy-man village” in a rural area in Guang Zhou where they could enjoy a relaxed lifestyle every day.

Lazy-man village? Sex with a female ghost every night? This guy had it made in the shade!

[King Prout]

This guy had it made in the shade

BOO! hsss! BAAAAAD pun!

[Charles Henrickson]

and why can I never remember martin_fierro's name when I find something needing his wit??? I was racking my brain for his name for the ping I sent out, but... seriesly: why can't I remember it?

Who?

[Das Outsider]

[Das Outsider]

Who?

You know, Steve Martin--the guy with the arrow through his head. The Jerk?

[grey_whiskers]

Another Succubus story, huh?

...is that you, Lilith?

[Brainhose]

You're right there is nothing to add so here is a picture of a bunny with a Pope Pancake on it's head

[grey_whiskers]

Another Succubus story, huh?

Either that, or Shirley MacLaine has finally realized how old she is and is getting desperate :-)

[DeFault User]

No, it's me...William Shatner

[DeFault User]

faded out there...

[grey_whiskers]

Yeah, yeah, faded out.

Isn't that what ghosts are supposed to do?

BTW, did you see he said he couldn't get married due to the "ghost"?

Now THAT'd be some excuse if someone's wife catches him in bed with another woman.
"Honestly, honey, it's just a ghost. She's been visiting me every night for 16 years!"

Cheers!

[grey_whiskers]

LOL, quite possible he is wildly hallucinating.

Sounds like he needs a "sexorcist" :-)

[Darksheare]

LOL!

Wasn't that a Wite Zombie album?

[martin_fierro]

seriesly: why can't I remember it?

Here. Ingrain it in yo' brain:

[martin_fierro]

Sin Chew Daily reported that a group of people had set up a “lazy-man village” in a rural area in Guang Zhou where they could enjoy a relaxed lifestyle every day.
The group comprised those who did not want to face competition in work; had no interest in earning more money; and did not want to be hardworking.

Otherwise known as "France."

[Emmett McCarthy]

Ok, so the guy married a ghost 16 years ago. How many guys who married a live woman 16 years ago are still getting laid every night?

How can a guy tell if his wife's dead? Sex is about the same, but the dishes start pilin' up.

How can a woman tell if her husband's dead? Sex is about the same, but she gets the remote.