Posted on 11/18/2005 8:10:58 AM PST by Sonny M
DEAR ABBY: I work at a large zoo, in the children's zoo department. I cannot count the number of times I have heard parents, out of ignorance or impatience, lie to their child about the animals they are observing. In an enclosure with several species of animal, for example, they will tell their child that pygmy species (smaller than non-pygmy when full-grown) are actually babies of large animals. I have also seen them give incorrect information about animal behavior, diet and habitat.
I want to ask these parents for something: Respect your child enough to admit that you sometimes don't know the answer to their question. If you don't know the answer, ask a keeper. We are usually on hand and never mind talking about the animals we love and interact with daily. We enjoy showing people how amazing and fulfilling these animals can be, and it pains us to hear parents provide misinformation to children. -- A KEEPER IN THE EAST
DEAR KEEPER: You have rattled the right cage. My assistant, Sherry, who is a docent at the Los Angeles Zoo, informs me that your complaint is all too common among staff at zoos.
It does a child a grave disservice to give him or her misinformation. Children are little vessels. If you fill their heads with nonsense, they'll pour it forth at a later date -- embarrassing themselves in front of friends or in the classroom, where they'll feel like idiots when it's pointed out that they are wrong.
It seems that one of the most difficult phrases in the English language for people to utter is, "I don't know." Perhaps that's because they are afraid it will make them appear stupid, so they try to fill the vacuum by saying something -- a mistake. A more constructive approach is to say, "I don't know, but I'll help you get the answer," especially when talking to a child. Nobody knows everything, and learning is most fun when it's a shared endeavor.
Zoos were created for the purpose of education, conversation, recreation and research. When visiting a zoo, if you have a question, you should ask a zookeeper or a docent, if one is provided.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 30-year-old woman, married to a man in his mid-50s. "Andre" and I have an 8-year-old daughter together, and he has three grown sons I helped him raise over the last 10 years. My problem is I feel deep inside that I'm missing out on what is supposed to be my "real" life. I know I was meant to have more children, but Andre had a vasectomy and doesn't want any more. I would like to return to college and get my degree, but Andre doesn't support that, either. I'd like to work with children or in a helping profession; Andre refuses to listen.
I have tried to ignore my feelings. I have been to counselors, and on and off anti-depressants for years. I don't think I love my husband anymore, and I feel in my heart that this marriage isn't healthy for me or our child. But I can't seem to make myself leave because of our daughter. (Not to mention that Andre tells me all the time how much he loves me.)
Bottom line: At what point is it OK to make a decision you know will hurt someone else just for yourself? -- UNHAPPY IN NEBRASKA
DEAR UNHAPPY: Because counseling and medication haven't helped, the time is now, while your husband can still find a woman whose values are more similar to his own than yours are.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS, and getting along with peers and parents is in "What Every Teen Should Know." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $5 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
Actually I'd say I agree with both responses.
The parents may not know about the pgymy status of animals. A much more important issue is the number of parents who set their kids up on the fences surrounding dangerous animals so that they can get a better look.
No, Abby should have slapped the woman in the head for being all about herself. No mention of what divorce means to the child, how much of a struggle it will be for her in the future and that she made a commitment to the man and the child she brought into the world.
What's the big deal?...Assuming they were married in a Church, she only made a solemn promise before God and the Church... -sarc
Respect your child ... ask a keeper
Well, she's married to a jerk. But I agree with you. She's married and has made a commitment and seems to be as selfish as her husband. I well understand her grief at not having more children, but she should take care of the one she has and understand that life does not always produce what we want out of it.
If Jim Robinson is okay with it, I would like to post these every day for feedback.
In the first example the parents can't read the placards in front of each cage or display?
I had a close friend, in his mid fifties and schooled in very rural North Carolina, who knew that mice are baby rats & blackbirds (aka starlings & grackles) are baby crows. I could not convince him otherwise.
OK... I will make sure to do this next time Im in the zoo with the kids. I think everytime I am withen earshot of a zoo keeper I will tell the kids that kitty kitty will grow up to be a real lion when he gets old, an Polar bears are white because they eat to much ice cream.
In the first case, the zookeeper should keep in mind that some folks may be misinformed, themselves. They think they "know" certain "facts" and pass them to their children. It's likely that when discussing other subjects with their own children, zookeepers unwittingly transmit their own set of false "facts" to them. The zookeeper should accept the foibles of fellow humans, and bite his tongue.
In the second case, it's astonishing how breezily the advice giver recommends divorce. Or not, if one is familiar with the pagan, Dear Abby.
The fact that she allows Andre to run her life says a lot about her as well. Tell him you are going to school, going to get a job or do whatever.
Of course we only hear the "victim" 's side in all of these letters.
Now, if somehow we could have the Dear Abby's get some input from Penthouse Forum letters then that would be fun to read.
I like to take mine to the gorilla exhibit and tell them that's what we used to look like - LOL.
I would probably have told the woman, "Perhaps you should have thought about that and discussed it before you married a man who was 20 years your senior."
Seriously, I see this a fair amount. "I'm still young and my old fogey husband doesn't want to/let me do (x)."
Try going to the Air and Space museum and hear parents give their kids wrong info there. As a space enthusiast I often want to jump in but don't. ;)
Sometimes though people are just not observant. Every display in any museum I have been in has had printed info nearby to explain what you are looking at. Though there was the time at the Saturn 5 building at the Kennedy Space Center when I heard a guy so dense I couldn't believe it. We had all just come from the theater where they had a great movie full of info about the Saturn 5 rocket and its magnificent history. Then the doors open and 100s of people stream out into the museum where a real Saturn 5 is on display. A little kid asks the father what this rocket did. The guy replied, "umm, I dunno." Brilliant!
Eh, I thought the advice about the animals was pretty sound. I've kept several types of (semi)exotic pets over the years and had to deal with some pretty amazing misconceptions from others about them.
I always do quite a bit of research about them since I like to give any pets I own the best lives possible. With most of the pets I had I could point others to the same sources and correct them, but for some reason the litter of hairless rats I raised from birth seemed to dumbfuzzle everyone :-)
What I never got was why some thought I was wantonly cruel for taking care of one that we figured out was blind. Near as we can tell, he was blind from birth and with only a little more attention than a normal rat, got along so well most ppl didn't realize he was blind until told. His ears, nose, whiskers, and seemingly keen memory made up for his eyes. He'd feel his way around a new cage once or twice, then navigate it flawlessly from then on.
He was actually one of my favorites, all told, since he was one of the sweetest and most trusting. He had the personality commonly regarded as "perfect" for a male pet rat. He led a very spoiled life and made a superb ambassador of ratkind...well, except to that poor JW, but that's another story :-)
or on the pages of the New York Times or TV News shows or the floor of congress.
"A much more important issue is the number of parents who set their kids up on the fences surrounding dangerous animals so that they can get a better look."
I just call that pro-active survival of the fittest.
(yes, sarcasm)
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