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**** Official Friday Silliness Thread ****
Drug Dealers vs. Software Developers ^ | 11/11/2005 | pffft

Posted on 11/11/2005 5:33:07 AM PST by BJClinton

Wheee! The week is almost over and what a week it has been. So crack open a beer, or an e-beer if you're at work, and let it all hang out. Well, don't let it *all* hang out...you know what I mean.

So Ms. Mapes is "unrepentant"?





TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Humor
KEYWORDS: eaglessuck; friday; ofst; tgif
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To: BJClinton

I posted that last week as a blonde math test.


181 posted on 11/11/2005 8:04:14 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (I'm going to become rich as soon as I invent a device that allows you to smack people over the web!)
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To: All
Happy Veterans Day folks! I thank ALL Veterans, past, present, and future, for keeping us FREE!!!!

A bit of silliness:


Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah....
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

*-*-*

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
*-*-*

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No . wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....

*-*-*

Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

*-*-*

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!

*-*-*

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

*-*-*

Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah...................thank you.


*-*-*

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

*-*-*

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work

*-*-*

Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

*-*-*

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

*-*-*

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

*-*-*

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.


*-*-*

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

*-*-*

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

*-*-*

And last but not least:....

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
182 posted on 11/11/2005 8:04:47 AM PST by appalachian_dweller (Get Prepared. Stay Prepared. See my FR Homepage for a list of actions and supplies.)
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To: Leapfrog

A fruit cake? These are all bad... but you're the worst!


183 posted on 11/11/2005 8:04:56 AM PST by Chanticleer (A free society is a place where it's safe to be unpopular. -- Adlai Stevenson)
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To: LongElegantLegs
Yeaa...
You Are Socks!
Cozy and warm... but easily lost. You make a good puppet.
What Crappy Gift Are You?

184 posted on 11/11/2005 8:05:54 AM PST by Peepster (I'm new here so I hope I do things right...)
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To: PaulaB

The Book! Does it have anything to say about baby shower etiquette?


185 posted on 11/11/2005 8:05:54 AM PST by Chanticleer (A free society is a place where it's safe to be unpopular. -- Adlai Stevenson)
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To: EX52D
Hey sister...I finally made it in...
Doing 80 trying to get downtown
I look up and there is a cop on my butt
GRRRR I'm thinking ticket time
so I play coy and move into the next lane
no..he passes me and hauls butt

Ohhhhhh yeaaaaaa its Friday!!!
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
186 posted on 11/11/2005 8:06:01 AM PST by PaulaB (Your Mother Told You Not To Talk To Strangers)
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To: day10
Good Morning, are you working today? Thinking
187 posted on 11/11/2005 8:06:38 AM PST by EX52D
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To: appalachian_dweller

Do tech support people have the patience of Job, or are they all on some sort of drug?


188 posted on 11/11/2005 8:08:50 AM PST by Chanticleer (A free society is a place where it's safe to be unpopular. -- Adlai Stevenson)
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To: PaulaB
I think they do that on purpose sometimes to scare the shi* out of you...Road Rage
189 posted on 11/11/2005 8:11:25 AM PST by EX52D
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To: colorcountry; Leapfrog
You are not average since you don't think affirmative action is necessary.

So, the Average American thinks affirmative action is necessary?

I DOUBT IT!

Liberal test... grumble grumble...

190 posted on 11/11/2005 8:11:42 AM PST by Dashing Dasher (I'm going to become rich as soon as I invent a device that allows you to smack people over the web!)
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To: Chanticleer

Not sure. I'm thinking drugs.


191 posted on 11/11/2005 8:12:07 AM PST by appalachian_dweller (Get Prepared. Stay Prepared. See my FR Homepage for a list of actions and supplies.)
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To: Leapfrog

192 posted on 11/11/2005 8:13:17 AM PST by Peepster (I'm new here so I hope I do things right...)
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To: Leapfrog

193 posted on 11/11/2005 8:13:32 AM PST by Peepster (I'm new here so I hope I do things right...)
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To: Chanticleer; appalachian_dweller
Definitely drugs.
194 posted on 11/11/2005 8:13:36 AM PST by LongElegantLegs (Yarn-ho.)
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To: Chanticleer
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Lesson 1-Never make assumptions about inviting someone.
Don't send an invitation before checking with your
friend. Always ask first to see if your friend
feels up to it. Likewise, don't assume that you should
not send an invitation.
195 posted on 11/11/2005 8:14:40 AM PST by PaulaB (Your Mother Told You Not To Talk To Strangers)
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To: Dashing Dasher

Yeah, I selected unnecessary too but didn't get that blurb. Odd.


196 posted on 11/11/2005 8:14:42 AM PST by Michael Goldsberry (an enemy of islam -- Joe Boucher; Leapfrog; Dr.Zoidberg; Lazamataz; ...)
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To: BJClinton
THANK YOU VETERANS AND GOD BLESS AMERICA!

GEAUX Tigers!

vs

197 posted on 11/11/2005 8:16:25 AM PST by w_over_w (This tagline is blank, well, not actually blank but it would be if I didn't just tell you.)
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To: PaulaB
So before you invite someone, you have to ask if they want to be invited? Huh. Sounds confusing and redundant -- although I suppose it spares feelings on both sides.

Sigh. So much to learn before I am ready for society.

198 posted on 11/11/2005 8:16:36 AM PST by Chanticleer (A free society is a place where it's safe to be unpopular. -- Adlai Stevenson)
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To: EX52D

Nope - the boys are off school today so I am home doing laundry, cleaning, and other assorted domestic stuff that I have fallen behind on.

I am checking in on FR occasionally before I head out for errands. It occurred to me that it might be nice to have food in the house, so that is errand #1.


199 posted on 11/11/2005 8:17:15 AM PST by day10 (Wherever you come near the human race there's layers and layers of nonsense.)
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To: Peepster
What the heck happened..?

200 posted on 11/11/2005 8:17:38 AM PST by Peepster (I'm new here so I hope I do things right...)
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