Posted on 10/28/2005 7:10:26 AM PDT by BJClinton
Funny thing happened on the way to the office...okay, not really funny, but upon entering my office I was smacked in the face with the overwhelming smell of propane (insert Hank Hill joke). Our office shares the same building with a restaraunt (source of the propane leak) and a veteranarian's office, so I've spent the last few hours evacuating cats, dogs and some kinda lizard from the vet and trying to convince English-challenged kitchen staff to evacuate. But that's over, I'm back at home and it's time for a beer. Oh, and the OFST ping list is on a 'puter surrounded by explosive gas so if y'all could ping some of the usual suspects...
remember "I wanna be a boss"?
wearing it now
reminds me of a very un-pc joke...
Col Travis and Daniel Boone are standing on the wall of the Alamo, looking out over the 100,000 Mexican soldiers.
Daniel Boone turns to the Col and asks "Are we pourin' concrete today?"
That is somewhat bothersome, yes.
I dunno why they run away though.
read the post to which I was responding
So bad, it's funny...
A man was walking home alone one night when he heard a "BUMP....BUMP....BUMP..." behind him. Walking faster, he looked back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him...."BUMP...BUMP...BUMP..."
The man began to run toward his home, and the coffin boiunced after him faster....faster...BUMPBUMPBUMP.
He ran up to his door, fumbled with his keys, opened the door, rushed in, and locked it behind him. The coffin crashed through his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping BUMP...BUMP...BUMP... on the heals of the terrified man. The man rushed upstairs to the bathroom and locked himself in, heart pounding.
With a CRASH, the coffin broke down the door, coming slowly toward him. The man while screaming, reached for something, anything....all he can find was a box of cough drops which he hurled at the coffin...and suddenly "the coffin stops."
Have you ever watched Mystery Science Theater 3000?
LOL, upside down numbers....
Which dye number this time?
An extremely shy and very modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his digestive system upset.
Upon making several false-alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided that the latest was another false alarm, so he stayed put in his bed. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. Loosing his presence of mind, he jumped up, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms wildly, which left the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.
As the drunk stood there staring down at the sheets, a security guard who had watched the whole incident walked up and asked, "What was that all about?" Still staring down at his feet, the drunk replied: "I think I just beat the crap out of a ghost"
Stan Rigway's first solo hit.
I'm still kinda hungover from the Irish coffees last night. when I looked at my reflection in the mirror this morning I wanted to run away too.
Would like to follow JRBC's hangover remedy (stay drunk), but work keeps getting in the way.
Need to find a job where I'd be paid to drink.
That one actually hurt...
young couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween party. The wife came down with a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party and have a good time. Being the devoted husband he was, protested. But she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed. She told him there was no need for him to miss the fun. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain, and as it was still early, she decided to go to the party. Because hubby did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some kicks watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not around. She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor. He was dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a feel here and taking a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new "action". She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped out, went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would have for his notorious behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked him what he had done. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got to the party, I met Pete, Bill and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But I'll tell you... the guy that I loaned my costume to sure had one helluva time!"
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