Posted on 10/10/2005 1:27:46 PM PDT by Loyalist
MONTREAL -- Luc Boivin's lost cheddar is passing into local legend as the Titanic of the cheese world.
The Quebec cheese maker dropped a 2,000-pound cargo of cheese to the bottom of the Saguenay fjord last year in a ripening experiment. Then he spent this summer searching for it. And now, after deploying a team of divers and an arsenal of high-tech tracking equipment, Mr. Boivin has given up the quest.
The sunken treasure of cheddar is nowhere to be found.
"It got too expensive to continue. At some point, you can't be crazy," he said recently from his factory in La Baie, Que.
No one can accuse Mr. Boivin, a fourth-generation cheese maker, of giving up easily. Searchers used state-of-the-art sonar equipment and underwater cameras to look for the bounty. Divers returned to the waters of the Baie des Ha! Ha! eight times. And the Development Centre in Ocean Mapping sailed to his aid with a $1-million, multi-beam sonar device, one of the most sophisticated marine mapping systems in Canada.
No luck.
"It's a mystery. All we know is that the cheese is no longer where it was left," said Pierre Dufour, a master diver who assisted La Fromagerie Boivin in the hunt. Whether it was eaten by cheddar-loving fish or stolen by cheese smugglers is anyone's guess.
"Where is it? We don't know," Mr. Dufour said.
According to a company estimate, $50,000 was spent to look for the cheese. The most popular theory is that its anchoring cables got caught up in the winter ice and that the cheese was carried downriver. Still, Mr. Dufour is not discouraged.
"The Titanic sank in 1912, but it was only found in 1985," he said.
The story has captured the public's imagination. The Saguenay cheese hunt made headlines around the globe. Mr. Boivin received random reports of sightings of the errant cheese barrels miles from where they were placed.
Last month, a commander of the HMCS Chicoutimi, on a local visit, said perhaps the Canadian Forces submarine could locate the cheese. "He said he had systems that could help," Mr. Boivin said.
"It's become like a treasure hunt. It has intrigued a lot of people," Mr. Boivin said, adamantly refuting suggestions the sunken cheese story was a fish tale, although he can't deny its priceless marketing value.
Mr. Boivin dropped 10 barrels of cheese into the Saguenay last fall after a fisherman reported reeling in a piece of Boivin cheese from a lake bottom and trying it. It was pronounced the best cheese he'd ever tasted.
Undeterred by the apparent failure of this year's underwater cheese experiment, Mr. Boivin is trying again. He still believes that underwater pressure will enhance the taste of an aged cheddar. So within the next few weeks, he will drop another charge of cheese in a stainless steel, submarine-type vessel into the Baie des Ha! Ha! But this time, he's taking no chances. The cheddar will be outfitted with a tracking device.
I smell a bad Celine Dion song approaching.
I like cheese....
NeverGore :6)
What a wonderful world we live in, where people actually devote their time to dropping huge cheese wheels into deep water and then trying to find them!
The Cheese Shop by Monty Python
(a customer walks in the door)
Customer: Good Morning.
Owner: Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium!
Customer: Ah, thank you, my good man.
Owner: What can I do for you, Sir?
Customer: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through Rogue Herrys by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly came over all peckish.
Owner: Peckish, sir?
Customer: Esuriant.
Owner: Eh?
Customer: 'Ee, ah wor 'ungry-loike!
Owner: Ah, hungry!
Customer: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a little fermented curd will do the trick," so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles!
Owner: Come again?
Customer: I want to buy some cheese.
Owner: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player!
Customer: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse!
Owner: Sorry?
Customer: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tuune, 'yer forced too!
Owner: So he can go on playing, can he?
Customer: Most certainly! Now then, some cheese please, my good man.
Owner: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like?
Customer: Well, eh, how about a little red Leicester.
Owner: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir.
Customer: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit?
Owner: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday.
Customer: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please.
Owner: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning.
Customer: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bel Paese?
Owner: Sorry, sir.
Customer: Red Windsor?
Owner: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down.
Customer: Ah. Stilton?
Owner: Sorry.
Customer: Ementhal? Gruyere?
Owner: No.
Customer: Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance.
Owner: No.
Customer: Lipta?
Owner: No.
Customer: Lancashire?
Owner: No.
Customer: White Stilton?
Owner: No.
Customer: Danish Brew?
Owner: No.
Customer: Double Goucester?
Owner: (pause) No.
Customer: Cheshire?
Owner: No.
Customer: Dorset Bluveny?
Owner: No.
Customer: Brie, Roquefort, Pol le Veq, Port Salut, Savoy Aire, Saint Paulin, Carrier de lest, Bres Bleu, Bruson?
Owner: No.
Customer: Camenbert, perhaps?
Owner: Ah! We have Camenbert, yessir.
Customer: (suprised) You do! Excellent.
Owner: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny...
Customer: Oh, I like it runny.
Owner: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir.
Customer: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah!
Owner: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir.
Customer: I don't care how fucking runny it is. Hand it over with all speed.
Owner: Oooooooooohhh........! (pause)
Customer: What now?
Owner: The cat's eaten it.
Customer: (pause) Has he.
Owner: She, sir.
Customer: (pause) Gouda?
Owner: No.
Customer: Edam?
Owner: No.
Customer: Case Ness?
Owner: No.
Customer: Smoked Austrian?
Owner: No.
Customer: Japanese Sage Darby?
Owner: No, sir.
Customer: You...do *have* some cheese, don't you?
Owner: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got--
Customer: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.
Owner: Fair enough.
Customer: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale.
Owner: Yes?
Customer: Ah, well, I'll have some of that!
Owner: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name.
Customer: (pause) Greek Feta?
Owner: Uh, not as such.
Customer: Uuh, Gorgonzola?
Owner: No.
Customer: Parmesan,
Owner: No.
Customer: Mozarella,
Owner: No.
Customer: Paper Cramer,
Owner: No.
Customer: Danish Bimbo,
Owner: No.
Customer: Czech sheep's milk,
Owner: No.
Customer: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese?
Owner: Not *today*, sir, no.
Customer: (pause) Aah, how about Cheddar?
Owner: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir.
Customer: Not much ca-- it's the single most popular cheese in the world!
Owner: Not 'round here, sir.
Customer: (slight pause) and what IS the most popular cheese 'round hyah?
Owner: 'Illchester, sir.
Customer: IS it.
Owner: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire.
Customer: Is it.
Owner: It's our number one best seller, sir!
Customer: I see. Uuh...'Illchester, eh?
Owner: Right, sir.
Customer: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any?' he asked, expecting the answer 'no'.
Owner: I'll have a look, sir........nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno.
Customer: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it?
Owner: Finest in the district!
Customer: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.
Owner: Well, it's so clean, sir!
Customer: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese....
Owner: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir.
Customer: Would it be worth it?
Owner: Could be....
Customer: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOUKI OFF!
Owner: Told you sir....
Customer: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger?
Owner: No.
Customer: Figures.Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me:
Owner: Yessir?
Customer: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any cheese here at all.
Owner: Yes, sir.
Customer: Really?
(pause)
Owner: No. Not really, sir.
Customer: You haven't.
Owner: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir.
Customer: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you.
Owner: Right-Oh, sir.
(The customer takes out a gun and shoots the owner)
Customer: What a *senseless* waste of human life.
BTTT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BTTT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BTTT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
uh...why not just store some cheese above ground but under high water pressure?
He could have done that for a lot less than $50,000.
I LOVE cheese...especially Danish Havarti. :)
The Hamburglar probably took it.
My sister is in the canoe he's heading for....
"fisherman reported reeling in a piece of Boivin cheese from a lake bottom and trying it. It was pronounced the best cheese he'd ever tasted."
But what if up to that point all he ever had was Cheez Whiz. Besides, LOL, how in the heck does he know it was even cheese, let alone what type?
Most people don't know that back in 1912, hellmann's mayonnaise was
manufactured in england. In fact, the titanic was carrying 12,000 jars
of the condiment scheduled for delivery in vera cruz, mexico, which was
to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in new york. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise
ever delivered to mexico....
But as we know....The great ship did not make it to new york.... The
ship hit an iceberg and sank.... And the cargo was forever lost.... The
people of mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly
awaiting its delivery....Were disconsolate at the loss....
Their anguish was so great, that they declared a national day of
mourning which they still observe to this day....
The national day of mourning occurs each year on may 5th....
And is known....Of course....As sinko de mayo
Anyway... I think they should be looking for cheddar-headed-orca.
Thank you, Cliff Clavin.
Thank you, Cliff Clavin.
NORM!
NORM!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.