Posted on 09/30/2005 5:46:55 AM PDT by BJClinton
Yeah! This was a brutal week. 33% of my office was out on paternity leave (okay, so there's only 3 of us). K, leave all seriousness aside and get silly. And if you blew it all on Wednesday, pffft!
As Rita approached,all of East Texas boarded up in preperation. Here's a pic from College Station of the efforts...
If you've been living in a cave in Afghanistan for the last week you may have missed this:
You're a Freaky Kisser |
![]() A new technique, a new partner, a new piercing... And your own personal kissing style is very unpredictable There's no saying where your tongue or hands will go |
Why We Love Children
1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move! ," answered the child innocently. You did WHAT ? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pss st!' and it didn't move."
2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....."Da-ad...." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No, You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later......"Daaaa-aaaad...." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him: "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming ! the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
The mother smiled ! and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."
5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room. I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"
7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.
Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you
teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that
farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy S#@*! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply,
"I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
10. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can
find a smooth one, can I play with him?"
11. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father.
she stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."
Thank you MrsCinAZ
How was Reno?
"...your posts have filled a void in my soul that I've been searching for my entire life...."
Cool. Can I touch your breasts now?
one of her friends responded.. "I think they asked one of the mimes to warn everybody, and, well, you know......."
Doable.
Oh, yeah baby. All we need now is "Move It" playing in the background.
It's quite simple the bay state used to be highly union when the mill towns were in full operation. The unions told their members to vote for corrupt Democrats. The offspring of the union members continued to vote Democrat even though they were not union members. Now we have the fourth and fifth generation of Union / Democrat voters that vote for the Irish mob because it has become a family tradition.
Did I say Irish mob?
I mean they would vote for the mob if the mob existed,
which it doesn't
THERE IS NO IRISH MOB!!
I DIDN"T SAY MOB!!
Even though the Democrats are controlled by the mob
You're a Romantic Kisser |
![]() You love to kiss under the stars or by the sea The perfect kiss involves the perfect mood It's pretty common for kisses to sweep you off your feet |
Do not let that secret out of the bag.
But it doesn't sound right.
*shrugs*
And I got 40% weird on the weird test.
It must be broken.
You Are 20% Boyish and 80% Girlish |
Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine. You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you. A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down. But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible. |
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.