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To: Slings and Arrows
A dog trots into a bar, ask the bartender for a beer. The bartender says, “Hey, are you dog?” “Yes”, the canine replies. “Well we don't serve dogs here”, says the bartender as he pulls out a revolver and shoots the animal in the foot. So out the door the dog goes on three legs.

A week later in limps the dog with a bandage on his foot and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw".
83 posted on 09/14/2005 1:15:07 PM PDT by The SISU kid (Politicians are like Slinkies. Good for nothing. But you smile when you push them down the stairs)
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To: The SISU kid

A man walks into a bar carrying a large box. He reaches into the box and takes out a tiny piano, a little man no more than a foot high, and an old oil lamp.

The tiny musician sits down at the piano and begins to play. He is a master - classical, jazz, and show tunes all flow effortlessly from fingers. Upon finishing his set, the whole bar breaks out in applause.

Needless to say, the man with the box is treated to many, many free drinks. Finally, as the evening is drawing to a close, the bartender asks the man where he found the musician.

The man points at the oil lamp. "That lamp contains a genie. If you rub it, he'll appear and grant your wish. But I'll warn you right now, pal, you only get one wish, and he's a little deaf."

The bartender grabs lamp and rubs it vigorously. With a puff of smoke, the genie appears and asks "WHAT IS YOUR WISH, OH MY MASTER?"

The bartender exclaims "I want a million bucks!"

"IT IS DONE!" The genie claps his hands and vanishes.

A duck suddenly pops into existence in midair. It is followed a moment later by another one, and a split-second later by a dozen more. In minutes, the bar is filled floor-to-ceiling with ducks, and nobody doubts that there are a million of them.

The bartender looks at the man with the box. "Kind of deaf, you said?"

The man nods. "You think I asked for a twelve-inch pianist?"


84 posted on 09/14/2005 1:31:00 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("Every family should have a crew-served weapon.")
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