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Mensa's New Words for 2005 (humor)
e-mail to PA Times | 9/12/05 | unknown

Posted on 09/12/2005 3:49:22 PM PDT by pissant

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are the 2005 winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.


TOPICS: Business/Economy
KEYWORDS: ancientpost; doasearch; mensa; mensapissant; wapo
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To: Conspiracy Guy

Led Zeppelin. That makes me think of kitties.


141 posted on 09/14/2005 4:58:04 AM PDT by pissant
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To: NicknamedBob

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1483435/posts?page=26#26


142 posted on 09/14/2005 4:58:44 AM PDT by Conspiracy Guy (Warning.... Contents under pressure....If you don't like what I say, don't read it !)
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To: pissant

I think the song I'm talking about was on their 1st or 2rd album. The Immigrant Song was much later.


143 posted on 09/14/2005 5:01:57 AM PDT by Conspiracy Guy (Warning.... Contents under pressure....If you don't like what I say, don't read it !)
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To: Conspiracy Guy

I know what song yer talking about! You were supposed to say:

Kitties. Makes me think of chinese restaurants, or something like that.


144 posted on 09/14/2005 5:16:04 AM PDT by pissant
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To: pissant

Compai Kitty?


145 posted on 09/14/2005 5:28:12 AM PDT by Conspiracy Guy (Warning.... Contents under pressure....If you don't like what I say, don't read it !)
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To: Conspiracy Guy

zackly.


146 posted on 09/14/2005 6:15:18 AM PDT by pissant
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To: pissant

I can't stand Chinese food.


147 posted on 09/14/2005 6:16:40 AM PDT by Conspiracy Guy (Warning.... Contents under pressure....If you don't like what I say, don't read it !)
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To: LongElegantLegs

Thanks for the hysterical ping!


148 posted on 09/14/2005 6:53:06 AM PDT by Vor Lady (I'm too young to feel this d*&m old.)
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To: Conspiracy Guy; pissant

They could have saved me a lot of page-turning if they had written the jokes on the centerfold girl.

I still worry about the pain of that staple.


I thought of a couple today...

Infiestation -- coming home early from a trip out of town to discover that the teenagers had decided to host a party.

Here's something that just occurred to me, a new definition for an old word...

Largesse -- Michael Moore in his Superman pajamas.


Why not?

Inviolinate -- protecting your musical instrument with Armor-All.

Perespective -- consideration, but at a distance.

Iranq -- the middle ground of the Middle East, for people who know no geography.

Georgraphy -- what Liberals think is President Bush's view of the World.

Anal Rententive -- Make up your own definitions.

Postitive -- the confidence you feel in pushing the post button, just as you also see that stupid mistake!


149 posted on 09/14/2005 3:09:16 PM PDT by NicknamedBob (I am impervious to insult, being extraordinarily dense, rather like Superman.)
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To: NicknamedBob

Very good. But I gotta head home.


150 posted on 09/14/2005 3:11:51 PM PDT by Conspiracy Guy (If the dome was the hold of a slave ship. Ray Nagin was the slaver and Bush is Abraham Lincoln)
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To: Conspiracy Guy

Give the girls a kiss for me ... in the proper order, of course.


151 posted on 09/14/2005 3:13:21 PM PDT by NicknamedBob (I am impervious to insult, being extraordinarily dense, rather like Superman.)
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To: NicknamedBob

Done


152 posted on 09/15/2005 4:56:20 AM PDT by Conspiracy Guy (If the dome was the hold of a slave ship. Ray Nagin was the slaver and Bush is Abraham Lincoln)
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