Posted on 09/12/2005 3:49:22 PM PDT by pissant
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing of one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the 2005 winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a**hole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
14. Glibido: All talk and no action.
15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
17. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
18. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
Led Zeppelin. That makes me think of kitties.
I think the song I'm talking about was on their 1st or 2rd album. The Immigrant Song was much later.
I know what song yer talking about! You were supposed to say:
Kitties. Makes me think of chinese restaurants, or something like that.
Compai Kitty?
zackly.
I can't stand Chinese food.
Thanks for the hysterical ping!
They could have saved me a lot of page-turning if they had written the jokes on the centerfold girl.
I still worry about the pain of that staple.
I thought of a couple today...
Infiestation -- coming home early from a trip out of town to discover that the teenagers had decided to host a party.
Here's something that just occurred to me, a new definition for an old word...
Largesse -- Michael Moore in his Superman pajamas.
Why not?
Inviolinate -- protecting your musical instrument with Armor-All.
Perespective -- consideration, but at a distance.
Iranq -- the middle ground of the Middle East, for people who know no geography.
Georgraphy -- what Liberals think is President Bush's view of the World.
Anal Rententive -- Make up your own definitions.
Postitive -- the confidence you feel in pushing the post button, just as you also see that stupid mistake!
Very good. But I gotta head home.
Give the girls a kiss for me ... in the proper order, of course.
Done
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