Microsoft offers ESR a job

esr.ibiblio.org ^ | 2005-09-09 | ESR

[N3WBI3]

The following is, verbatim, a letter I received a few minutes ago from a Microsoft recruiter.

From: “Mike Walters (Search Wizards)” To: Eric, I am a member of the Microsoft Central Sourcing Team. Microsoft is seeking world class engineers to help create products that help people and businesses throughout the world realize their full potential. Your name and contact info was brought to my attention as someone who could potentially be a contributor at Microsoft. I would love an opportunity to speak with you in detail about your interest in a career at Microsoft, along with your experience, background and qualifications. I would be happy to answer any questions that you may have and can also provide you with any information I have available in regard to the position s and work life at Microsoft. Please take a moment to visit My Calendar online to schedule a convenient time for me to contact you. You can learn more about our vision for the New World of Work at

http://www.microsoft.com/mscorp/execmail.

Additionally, if you are aware of any current or previous colleagues who might also be interested in opportunities at Microsoft, I would be happy to speak with them as well. Referrals are always welcome, and are greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance and I look forward to an opportunity to speak to you in the near future Best

regards, Mike How far will you go? Mike Walters CST Senior Recruiter Microsoft One Microsoft Way Redmond, WA 98052

I called Mike Walters, who told me my name had been passed to him by his research team. I indicated to him that I thought somebody was probably having a little joke at his expense, and promised him an email reply. Here is my reply in its entirety:

To: “Mike Walters (Search Wizards)” From:

I’d thank you for your offer of employment at Microsoft, except that it indicates that either you or your research team (or both) couldn’t get a clue if it were pounded into you with baseball bats. What were you going to do with the rest of your afternoon, offer jobs to Richard Stallman and Linus Torvalds? Or were you going to stick to something easier, like talking Pope Benedict into presiding at a Satanist orgy? If you had bothered to do five seconds of background checking, you might have discovered that I am the guy who responded to Craig Mundie’s “Who are you?” with “I’m your worst nightmare", and that I’ve in fact been something pretty close to your company’s worst nightmare since about 1997. You’ve maybe heard about this “open source” thing? You get one guess who wrote most of the theory and propaganda for it and talked IBM and Wall Street and the Fortune 500 into buying in. But don’t think I’m trying to destroy your company. Oh, no; I’d be just as determined to do in any other proprietary-software monopoly, and the community I helped found is well on its way to accomplishing that goal.

On the day *I* go to work for Microsoft, faint oinking sounds will be heard from far overhead, the moon will not merely turn blue but develop polkadots, and hell will freeze over so solid the brimstone will go superconductive. But I must thank you for dropping a good joke on my afternoon. On that hopefully not too far distant day that I piss on Microsoft’s grave, I sincerely hope none of it will splash on you.

Cordially yours, Eric S. Raymond

[N3WBI3]

OSS PING

If you are interested in the OSS ping list please mail me

[frogjerk]

Waiting for the Micro$oftbots...

[sitetest]

LOL!

Thanks for the ping.

[r9etb]

Is the point of this post to demonstrate that Eric S. Raymond is fully capable of being an a$$hole? If so, you succeded.

[N3WBI3]

Naa, it was funny to me and funny to anyone who is remotely familiar with ESR. It would be like Bush offering a campaign head job to Donna Brazil..

[r9etb]

Oh, I figured there was a great deal of history behind it. It's just no excuse for being an a$$hole, and then bragging about it to the entire world.

Call me old fashioned, but I'm just not all that impressed by Mr. Raymond's decision to masturbate in public.

[auburntiger]

I didn't think that Microsoft still had jobs to offer in the US. I thought they had all been outsourced to India.

[HAL9000]

On the day *I* go to work for Microsoft, faint oinking sounds will be heard from far overhead,

Oh man, that's hilarious.

[Salo]

Funny, but the guy is a flaming butthole. Wow, first MS is getting into bed with the ChiComs, and now this.... I bet Iggle commits suicide when he reads this.

[chronic_loser]

Is the point of this post to demonstrate that Eric S. Raymond is fully capable of being an a$$hole?

Yeah, but he is a FUNNY a##hole. MS has long ago ceased being this little den of clever, bright, ambitious creative people. Suits...., accountants and lawyers, the insufferable, humorless bloodless a##wipes who take anything that diminishes their "ossity" as a direct affront.... they are the face and the power structure of MS.

At age 50, I still have enough of the rock n roll spirit left to have a good laugh when those people get mooned.

[chronic_loser]

Bush offering a (campaign) head job to Donna Brazil..

1) Wrong prez. Clinton got the head jobs
2) You have the partners reversed in roles, anyway, unless you know something about Donna Brazille that you need to share with the rest of us.

[ExDemSince92]

I indicated to him that I thought somebody was probably having a little joke at his expense,

I would tend to agree with that. This is analogous to OSS Labs seeking Bill Gate's assistance.

The response was a bit over the top though.

[btcusn]

Sounds like a I'll think it over kind of reply :)
Jack