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***Official Friday Silliness Thread***
do not click this ^ | 09/09/2005 | *shrugs*

Posted on 09/09/2005 5:37:55 AM PDT by BJClinton

w00t! TGIF! Long week but it's finally over, the wife is out of town for a Kolache contest and I have a guild raid of Molten Core this weekend (if you know what that means without googling it, you need to get a life). So let's get this going, shall we?





Turd Twister Patented Design Features (Click pic for details, this is real!)



TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Humor
KEYWORDS: beer; missyouthag; ofst; qwerty; tgif
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To: Zavien Doombringer

6 phases of a project... sounds like the dems
So you think you know everything?.....
1. If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will speend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

2. Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age

3.Butterflies taste with their feet

4. Cats have over 100 vocal sounds, dogs only have about 10

5. Dreamt is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt"

6. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple

7. On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American Flag

8. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar

9. There are more chickens than people in the world

10. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

11. WinstonChurchillwas born in a ladies room during a dance.


181 posted on 09/09/2005 11:14:35 AM PDT by newfrpr04
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

Ever since I retired from the Navy I miss the buy me drink girls in Naples.


182 posted on 09/09/2005 11:15:52 AM PDT by fredhead ("It is a good thing war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it." General Robert E. Lee)
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To: Auntbee

183 posted on 09/09/2005 11:16:29 AM PDT by BJClinton (+ /_\)
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To: BJClinton

All right!!! Cowbell!!


184 posted on 09/09/2005 11:18:22 AM PDT by fredhead ("It is a good thing war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it." General Robert E. Lee)
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To: JimWforBush

It is a bit slow. :(


185 posted on 09/09/2005 11:18:43 AM PDT by EX52D
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick
r-q-tek86 tried to pretend a few weeks ago that he didn't know what a lapdance was

Lap Dances are vile things

... if done correctly

186 posted on 09/09/2005 11:21:27 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 (Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States)
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To: r-q-tek86

Is there an incorrect way?


187 posted on 09/09/2005 11:22:55 AM PDT by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (People too weak to follow their own dreams, will always find a way to discourage yours.)
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To: JimWforBush
WHERE IS EVERYBODY?

We lost network connectivity and I've spent the last 3 hours letting everyone that calls know that: yes, I *do* know that the network is down but thanks for checking 'cause constant interruptions make it easier to find which %@^%&^#*! NIC got fried and brought down this primitive PoS rack that runs our client's legacy systems.

*deep breath* Ah, much better.
188 posted on 09/09/2005 11:24:26 AM PDT by BJClinton (+ /_\)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

absolutely


189 posted on 09/09/2005 11:24:48 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 (Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States)
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To: EX52D

190 posted on 09/09/2005 11:25:18 AM PDT by Dog Gone
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick

http://www.cheechandchong.com/freedownloads/audio/CheechMacerena.mov


191 posted on 09/09/2005 11:25:19 AM PDT by fredhead ("It is a good thing war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it." General Robert E. Lee)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick
Hey, r-q-tek86 tried to pretend a few weeks ago that he didn't know what a lapdance was. What do you think about that?

Well if you are ever offered one I suggest you accept it.

Say yes to a Lap Dance

192 posted on 09/09/2005 11:25:53 AM PDT by JimWforBush (Alcohol - For the best times you'll never remember)
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To: Dog Gone

Our local paper just started carrying that strip. What a hoot!


193 posted on 09/09/2005 11:26:51 AM PDT by bruin66 (Time: Nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.)
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To: newfrpr04
6. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple

Purple Nurple!
194 posted on 09/09/2005 11:27:30 AM PDT by BJClinton (+ /_\)
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To: JimWforBush; Jersey Republican Biker Chick

I'd forgotten about that thread. There's an example of an "incorrect" lap dace for you, JRBC.


195 posted on 09/09/2005 11:29:47 AM PDT by r-q-tek86 (Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States)
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To: bruin66

Of course, when it gets into most newspapers, my most valuable contributions to these threads will no longer be needed.


196 posted on 09/09/2005 11:31:22 AM PDT by Dog Gone
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To: r-q-tek86; JimWforBush; Owl_Eagle
I'll bet you carry that article with you and use it as an excuse to pat frisk the stripper for weapons before the lapdance.
197 posted on 09/09/2005 11:33:45 AM PDT by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (People too weak to follow their own dreams, will always find a way to discourage yours.)
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To: Dutch14

How come I never got to program something fun like that?


198 posted on 09/09/2005 11:34:41 AM PDT by bruin66 (Time: Nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.)
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To: JimWforBush

199 posted on 09/09/2005 11:38:12 AM PDT by Dog Gone
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To: Dog Gone

"The Car Talk web site, done by Tom and Ray Magliozzi
(snip) - " Ten Worst Cars of the Millennium list.- (snip):
* Number 10: VW Bus.
2.7%.
"The flower stickers were the only things that held the car together."
"The bus had no heat, blew over in the wind and used the driver's legs as its first line of defense in an accident."
* Number 9: Renault Dauphine. 3.6%.
"From a historical perspective, it's a shame that the French spent their Marshall Plan dollars on automaking."
"A side impact by a bicycle totaled my Dauphine after only one year."
* Number 8: Cadillac Cimmaron. 4.0%.
"GM thought they could take a Chevy Cavalier, slap some Cadillac stuff on it, add an extra $5,000.00 and sell a bundle. Tragically enough, they pulled it off...for a while."
"When we traded it in, my wife was upset because we didn't keep it long enough for her to buy a gun and shoot it."
* Number 7: Dodge Aspen/Plymouth Volare. 4.1%.
"This car began to rust while it was still in the showroom."
* Number 6: Renault LeCar. 4.3%.
"Like any French restaurant in America, it was overpriced, noisy, moody, and would put you in mortal danger if you had an accident with anything larger than a croissant."
* Number 5: Chevy Chevette. 7.0%.
"An engine surrounded by 4 pieces of drywall!"
"The big winter of 82-83 froze all the Chevettes in my town like dumb ducks on an icy lake."
* Number 4: AMC Gremlin. 8.5%.
"Calling it a pregnant roller skate would be kind."
"It was entirely possible to read a Russian novel during the pause between stepping on the gas and feeling any semblance of forward motion."
* Number 3: Ford Pinto. 12.6%.
"Dad had a baby-poop-orange Pinto the year that car thieves hit our street. Although a dozen cars were stolen in one night, ours was there the next morning, on a strangely empty block."
"Remember that great Pinto bumper sticker, 'Hit Me and We Blow Up Together?'"
"The car would do 75 mph in 2nd gear, shaking apart and sounding like a bat out of hell. In fourth gear, the top speed was 70 mph. What's wrong with this picture? You do the math."
* Number 2: Chevy Vega. 15.8%. "As near as I could tell, the car was built from compressed rust."
"My Chevy Vega actually broke in half going over railroad tracks. The whole rear end came around slightly to the front, sort of like a dog wagging its tail."
"Burned so much oil, it was single handedly responsible for the formation of OPEC."
* And the Number 1 Worst Car of the Millennium: Yugo. 33.7%.
"At least it had heated rear windows, so your hands would stay warm while you pushed.


200 posted on 09/09/2005 11:38:13 AM PDT by TXBSAFH (Free Traitors are communist China's modern day "Useful Idiots")
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