Posted on 08/19/2005 6:48:52 AM PDT by BJClinton
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Your Hidden Talent |
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Well, I guess we better start a REVOLUTION!!
Who spilt some gin on his weenie
Not thought to be uncouth, he spilt some vermouth
And later slipped his wife a martini.
Portman... No. Man's gotta have some standards. I draw the line at liberal, vegan, gasbags that'd serve a much better purpose in life as fertilizer.
If I were to puke, which I don't no matter how much I drink, it would defintely be a targeted puking towards her.
Sounds good. I've been dying to start one for a while now... ;-)
What is our battle cry?
Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car.
They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses at them through the windshield.
"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Marilyn. "What shall we do?"
"Turn the windshield wipers on! That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.
Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.
"What shall I do now?" she shouts.
"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican," says Sister Helen.
Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer. The little, tiny Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.
"Now what?" shouts Sister Marilyn.
"Show him your cross," says Sister Helen.
"Now you're talking," says Sister Marilyn. She opens the window and shouts, "Get the f@#k off the car!"
You didn't realize that their panties were connected?
;-)
You Are 95% American |
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How about Silly Soccer Kicks?
A blonde finds herself in serious trouble. Her business has gone bust she's in dire financial straits. She's so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray..."God, please help me. I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the Lottery."
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. She again prays..."God please let me win the lottery. I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car next."
Lotto night comes and she still has no luck. Once again she prays..."My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I have always been a good servant to You. Please let me win the lottery just this one time."
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens opened. The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God Himself..."Sweetheart, work with me on this...
Buy a ticket!!..."
Your Hidden Talent |
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Your Political Profile |
Overall: 90% Conservative, 10% Liberal |
Social Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal |
Personal Responsibility: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal |
Fiscal Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal |
Ethics: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal |
Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal |
*snicker* I s'pose I had that coming.
You Are 182% American |
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Your Political Profile |
Overall: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal |
Social Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal |
Personal Responsibility: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal |
Fiscal Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal |
Ethics: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal |
Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal |
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