Posted on 07/31/2005 3:19:52 PM PDT by mlmr
So I have been trying to rent an apartment in my home...and all I have answering the ads are boyfriends and girlfriends. No matter what social status, no matter what income level, I am seeing unmarried twenty, thirty and forty year old couples who want to live together. If I question them, they don't even understand why I am asking.
These are Christians and Jews. I was so surprised to find that it would be so difficult to find a young married couple.
Tell me Dear Freeper...am I totally out of the ballgame to expect to find a young married couple? Am I expecting something that just isn't in our culture anymore?
Get both names on lease...better then having one skip out....
I haven't seen those stats. But as far as marriage is concerned, I do see the nuclear family becoming obsolete and transforming into extended families, which should provide more stability.
Sadly, there is a lot of social pressure to live together first. It used to be the other way around.
What amazes me is that it never occurs to them that living together might cause a raised eyebrow.
Yep. At 59, I have experience.
Sheesh, a judgemental topic if I ever saw one. (And trust me people, God isn't judging through your mouth, YOU are!)
I underwent a 3-month trial period living with my then-fiancee in an apartment, because we both wanted to make sure we were doing the right thing by getting married, and that we would coexist well under the same roof. The experiment was a success, and we took that final step. It had nothing to do with just having a place to screw all the time, it was about being responsible and making sure we were both ready for the final committment, or if we should just stay dating for a while.
I guess that makes us mortal sinners. *shrug* Whatever..
I called a church but I think I will email and deliver a posting.
I don't sleep around. But living together is a lot different from the courtship before, and as the divorce rate shows, a lot of people who seem compatible in one setting find they aren't in the other. It's better to find this out before you're in a situation which requires the lawyers to stick their hands in everything. When I marry I intend it to be permanent.
I pity the woman who considers you for a husband. You are a pig. (and I hereby apoligize to the pigs.)
I wouldn't do it either. The other twin has been dating a great young man for 4 years while they finished school (she just took her bar exam). They have their own places and, while I am indulgent with my girls, they know I am not indulgent about this. Hang tough.
Sorry you're so bitter. There are a lot of good christian conservative women out there. Maybe after you're healed, you'll find someone. I married a sleazy man, he left me for his true love. He's on marriage number 4 now. I felt the same way about men once.
You are free to do whatever you want but God does advise His believers to avoid the appearance of evil. I would not live with a man because first of all that's supposed to be the privilege of being married. Also, if I am a practicing christian how is that to be explained to unbelievers? This is not a judgemental topic. It's a very valid one in this age of disappearing traditional man-woman family.
I have four grown kids (two married) and one left at home who is in High School.
My wife and I were both virgins when we married and never lived with anyone else...much less slept with them. We believed it our duty to GoOd and our soceity to save ourselves for marriage and we have raised our kids that way.
There are those who still believe this out there...just keep searching. But...do be careful what you ask and how you ask it. Believe it or not, and as sad a state of affairs as it reflects, you could get into trouble.
Post in your ad and in your home when interviewing some one...in plain site..."We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone". Also, follow other Freeper advise and make sure you ask the same questions of everyone.
Consider posting your ad at churches and church colleges in the area if there are any. Best of luck...I believe the good Lord will bless you with a good renter.
If I were to depend on my future/potential spouse only to get me to and from where I want to go, without breaking down, then maybe.
But since, in my humble "o," a future spouse would mean much more to me, than a "test drive", I would opt for a longer courtship to determine him (or her, if that's the case) worthy, if there were any question.
Sound old fashioned? Maybe. Just don't want to be another statistic.
Yep. You mean you'd buy a car without driving it first?
A woman, a man and a relationship are not at all like an automotive transaction. The relaionship is precious and emotions run deep. Your method develops calloused emotions and broken hearts.
Divorced in your early thirties? That's so sad. I'm sorry that the woman you married had no regard for her wifely responsibilities.
You can say that until you've actually had to deal with a true nympho. It ain't pretty.
While you are not responding to me, I do have some comments on the matter.
At least for guys, there is a heck of a lot of value in having lived with a girlfriend at least once in your life. There are hundreds of different lessons about the realities of living with women that take time to be hammered home, and I've seen many relationships fail because it took too long for those lessons to sink in. People have limits and everyone is human.
That said, after one good learning experience, there is little practical value in living together, at least from the standpoint of the guy. There are benefits, but it is not really necessary if he has his head screwed on straight and has the perspective of prior experience to understand the situation. Men really do not understand their relationship to women when living together lacking a laboratory to sort these things out in. It is much easier to evaluate a potential mate after having lived with a women than prior, as we are often raised with ridiculous expectations that are not helpful when it comes to making a relationship work.
Maybe if our culture cast off many of the ridiculous modern myths of male-female relationships that seem to be cultural doctrine, we would not need to figure out the reality through trial by fire. I am a vastly better potential mate now because I learned my lessons the hard way many years ago. Some other poor girl had to put up with my learning curve (not that women do not have one as well), which makes things much smoother for me today.
That's what a long courtship is for.
I thank you for your kind reaction, and respect your choices as well. I just feel that this topic exists solely for traditional loyalists to bash everyone who doesn't conform to their views. Someone here mentioned "raised eyebrows" of neighbors who see an unmarried couple living together. Why do they need to "raise an eyebrow"? It's not their business.
I'll gladly "appear to be evil", if it means I have better knowledge and confidance about the major life-altering decision I'm about to make.
Hence, why I married an English girl and crossed over =P
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