Posted on 07/31/2005 3:19:52 PM PDT by mlmr
So I have been trying to rent an apartment in my home...and all I have answering the ads are boyfriends and girlfriends. No matter what social status, no matter what income level, I am seeing unmarried twenty, thirty and forty year old couples who want to live together. If I question them, they don't even understand why I am asking.
These are Christians and Jews. I was so surprised to find that it would be so difficult to find a young married couple.
Tell me Dear Freeper...am I totally out of the ballgame to expect to find a young married couple? Am I expecting something that just isn't in our culture anymore?
I love both my nations of citizenship, England and America, but neither of them are being destroyed by a couple people decided to live together without getting married first. Married relationships can be just as dysfunctional as unmarried ones.
Can we worry about things like terrorists, illegal immigration, and our paychecks being stolen by the government instead of nonsense like this?
Well the only trouble I had is that geographically the location I'm in stinks for dating. I can't speak for other people. Well I can sort of. I've heard the same complaints from other girls like myself about meeting nice guys in New York.
Well, Jeff, there are christians and then there are CHRISTians.
Simple as that.
Yes, you are out of the ballgame, because it isn't in our culture anymore. You can see how fast America is going down hill. We've completely turned our backs on God, and America is in the process of reaping God's wrath. The majority of Americans have no morals left. Living together is a sin, and it always has been. That's God's LAW, and He makes exceptions for NO ONE. Sin is sin, and those who practice such things, will send themselves to Hell.
My wife and I had a what mught be called world-wind relationship. We met and knew each other through church for a couple of months, started dating on the last day of January 1978, were engaged on February 14th (that's right, Valentine's Day) and married on April 25th of that same year.
Outside of some kissing, we never engaged in anything close to intercourse, with one another or anyone else. We both, before ever meeting, were committed to saving ourselves for our intended and were taught this by our families and our church...and, we believe, by God. We shared religious values and have been going strong ever since.
That does not mean there were not hard times. Financial, compatabilities, etc. But from the get go, we married and took our vows...for better or for worse...seriously and were 100% committed to working through them...which we have done.
She learned some things...I probably had a lot more to learn. But the commitment to have and to hold, to love and to cherish...and to do so for the rest of our lives and then (in our faith) throughout all eternity, were taken seriously.
Anyhow...that's what we experienced and what we value and have passed on to our five kids.
Thought popped in my head at the start of the thread, that what is the trouble, is fractured families, raising needy kids, who do not get the normal tools and abilities to live a normal life.
I had a hard man for a Daddy; but my sister married a man who modeled for me how to do it right. Had it not been for that - I am unsure how it would have gone. Thanks for hanging in and sharing your thoughts. It is really a vital subject. "Family values is more than a buzz word. Please forgive me for any hot rhetoric that I posted that hurt anyone.
Parents should have little to do with their children's relationships. Some advice and support and that's it. Any thing more is a sure fire way to cause a divorce. The meddling mother-in-law joke is based on truth.
This will sound sexist but girls have a shelf life
You're right, it's sexist.
Thanks for introducing a thought-out, non-aggressive opinion into this debate. I understand where you're coming from. I'd have to say that my wife and I too had already formed the majority of the emotional connections that prepared us for marriage before we moved in together.
Of course, my wife suffers from BPD, so our situation was slightly different, as it was partially a test to make sure our bond would survive the instability that comes with BPD.
With all due respect, you don't know my parents, and the idea that you know the "solution" for their problem is pretty presumptuous. Some people just aren't compatible. They tried, they stayed married and have, but at bottom they don't like each other --- and seeing as how they're each living with the person who in all the world knows them best, they probably didn't arrive at that conclusion cheaply.
Right, so basically relying on others' opinions to make your relationship decisions for you.
Sorry, I make my own choices.
I'm trying to respect your beliefs anyway, but the fact that you hammer on everyone else's makes it difficult to not want to return the favor.
No, not following other's blindly, but listening to the opinions of those who you respect and love...and who respect and love you.
I dont see where I am hammering...just having a different opinion. If I am over the top for you, I apologize.
Yep. That's very true. When you and your automobile part company, the automobile does not take your house, it does not haul away half of your stuff and it does not expect you to keep paying it's maintenance and fuel bills.
Perhaps the emphisis should not be on parting company but instead on making good choices and sticking with them.
Which is exactly why many couples live together first.
Do you think I would have bought that Chevy Vega back in 1974 if I had had any clue of what hell it was to deal with?
I've been living with Xena's Guy since early 1998. We're getting married September 17.
FWIW.
Women can't have children forever. That's not sexist, it's the truth. America is filled with feminists who wished they got married and had children sooner.
The granny cottage (Rose Bowl area) was quite attractive & things were going well...until the landlord asked "gotta girlfriend ?"
"Yes"
"She ever spend the night? cuz we don't allow that"
Amazing how things change in 30 years.
No harm done, best to be passionate about your beliefs than sit in silence. I too am appalled at the stories I hear of children born into horribly dysfunctional relationships. My wife was one of them. I vowed never to bring a child into a world like that. When we have a baby, it will be loved from day one till we pass on.
Thank you for the debate. Enjoy your movie.
Check...make that whirl-wind. Whoo..thinking and typing too fast.
Mazel Tov to you, my friend!
I have nothing against couples of any sort, or a menage a troi for that matter.
But this is your property. Run it as you see fit.
As a practical matter, I would try advertizing in places that are more likely to get you what you want: churches, for example.
Congrats :-)
I apologize as well, my opinion is partly colored by dealing with a very overly-controlling family the first 19 years of my life, so I am less inclined to place trust in the hands of others when it comes to my life choices.
I, of course, wish you the absolute best, and hope your children find people they can be happy with for the rest of their lives. We may disagree about things, but we are all human beings and I believe in the inherent good of our kind.
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