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Is Living Together Before Marriage Totally Accptable? ...Freeper Insight Needed
7.31.05 | mlmr

Posted on 07/31/2005 3:19:52 PM PDT by mlmr

So I have been trying to rent an apartment in my home...and all I have answering the ads are boyfriends and girlfriends. No matter what social status, no matter what income level, I am seeing unmarried twenty, thirty and forty year old couples who want to live together. If I question them, they don't even understand why I am asking.

These are Christians and Jews. I was so surprised to find that it would be so difficult to find a young married couple.

Tell me Dear Freeper...am I totally out of the ballgame to expect to find a young married couple? Am I expecting something that just isn't in our culture anymore?


TOPICS: Society
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1 posted on 07/31/2005 3:19:53 PM PDT by mlmr
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To: mlmr

My 23 year old daughter is getting married on Aug 13, she's living at home until the marriage. Good luck!


2 posted on 07/31/2005 3:22:33 PM PDT by Indy Pendance
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To: mlmr
Am I expecting something that just isn't in our culture anymore?

Yes.

Depending upon which state you live you, you might be violating the law by asking these questions.

3 posted on 07/31/2005 3:22:45 PM PDT by Jeff Gordon (Recall Barbara Boxer)
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To: mlmr

Redo your ad.
Include this wording in your advertisement: "Married couples welcome."


4 posted on 07/31/2005 3:23:33 PM PDT by Cindy
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To: mlmr

Depends where you live. If you live in a liberal area this is probably more of an issue than it would be in other places.

That said, I'd never marry somebody without living with them first, I'm hardly alone in that, and if you're going to rent apartments to couples you can expect you'll have to deal with that a lot.


5 posted on 07/31/2005 3:23:41 PM PDT by SpringheelJack
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To: mlmr

Hold on to your values and your self respect.


6 posted on 07/31/2005 3:24:57 PM PDT by wizr (Freedom ain't free.)
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To: Jeff Gordon

Unless there is something that changed, if you can prove you asked the same questions to every single applicant, it might not be unlawful. But, you have to prove you've asked every one. And then there are other factors, such as, is this rental unit owner occupied, under a certain number of units, etc. Definately needs to check the local laws though.


7 posted on 07/31/2005 3:25:06 PM PDT by Indy Pendance
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To: mlmr
To who?

I do not believe it is acceptable to God. As I read it, it is sin and sin is never good.

8 posted on 07/31/2005 3:25:16 PM PDT by Jeff Head (www.dragonsfuryseries.com)
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To: Jeff Gordon

In my state one can be much more fussy when renting to people in apartments attached to one's home.


9 posted on 07/31/2005 3:25:27 PM PDT by mlmr (CHICKIE-POO!)
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To: mlmr
I'm having trouble finding a roommate too. I'm looking for a 25 year old nymphomaniac with an obsessive cleaning compulsion disorder. ;-)
10 posted on 07/31/2005 3:25:36 PM PDT by Normal4me (I'm sweating like a muslim wearing a backpack on a London subway!)
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To: mlmr

Completely normal, and it is by far the norm in most places I've lived. Maybe not what you wanted to hear, but that is the reality. :-/


11 posted on 07/31/2005 3:25:36 PM PDT by tortoise (All these moments lost in time, like tears in the rain.)
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To: mlmr

"Is Living Together Before Marriage Totally Acceptable?"
Answer: No.

My husband suggested you might try advertising at your church, too.


12 posted on 07/31/2005 3:26:14 PM PDT by Cindy
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To: mlmr

Yes, many couples live togethe before marriage. A lot. It doesn't seem to improve the odds of the marriage working, but then again, neither does a large wedding and lots of appliances.

If you want a young married couple, then I would suggest you put a notice up on the church bulletin board or newsletter.


13 posted on 07/31/2005 3:26:16 PM PDT by durasell (Friends are so alarming, My lover's never charming...)
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To: mlmr

Its living together after marriage thats always been a problem for me.


14 posted on 07/31/2005 3:26:39 PM PDT by wildcatf4f3 (whats wrong with a draft?)
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To: mlmr
...am I totally out of the ballgame to expect to find a young married couple? Am I expecting something that just isn't in our culture anymore?

It's rare anymore. It might still be around, but your pool potential renters in that realm will be significantly smaller.

Good luck.

15 posted on 07/31/2005 3:27:15 PM PDT by kstewskis ("I don't know what I know, but I know that it's big..." Jerry Fletcher)
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To: mlmr

I'm not sure that you as a landlord can prohibit such living arrangements, but premarital or extramarital ("romantic") cohabitation is a mortal sin and in many (or at least some) states remains forbidden and criminal (although its enforcement may be as lax as that for illegal immigration). Fornication and sodomy are serious matters and forbidden, even felonious, in many states. These are sexual criminals, perhaps subject to registration requirements if caught, convicted, and so sentenced in an appropriate jurisdiction.


16 posted on 07/31/2005 3:27:19 PM PDT by dufekin (US Senate: the only place where the majority [D] comprises fewer than the minority [R])
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To: mlmr

I'm still living at home. I find your quandry a sad commentary on the social situation today.


17 posted on 07/31/2005 3:27:22 PM PDT by cyborg (to love,honor and obey...)
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To: mlmr

One of my 25 year old twins and I just had a talk about this yesterday. She is dating a young man I like very much. I said that, to move in together before marriage is a very bad idea. She agrees. Girls like mine are out there :)


18 posted on 07/31/2005 3:27:23 PM PDT by Bahbah
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To: SpringheelJack

:sigh: Are you another one of those 'I gotta drive the car first to see if I like it?' types?


19 posted on 07/31/2005 3:28:20 PM PDT by cyborg (to love,honor and obey...)
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To: mlmr
Am I expecting something that just isn't in our culture anymore?

Pretty much, and it may well be illegal to have traditional morals as a screening criteria. It's a shame, too.

I found that selectively advertising is a good strategy. I've managed to find and keep a lovely tenant in a rental property - she's retired, a Christian, writes fiction, etc - by advertising on church bulletin boards and such.

20 posted on 07/31/2005 3:28:25 PM PDT by Lil'freeper
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