Top 10: Things You Wish You Could Say To Her

THESOKO ^

[navysealdad]

7. Thinking that ordering a 'diet' soft drink to go along with two super size hamburgers and fries is 'eating healthy', is silly.

6. How about "never"? Is "never" good for you?

5. You're looking puffy today. Is somebody retaining water again?

[deaconblues]

Evidently I must be "at the top of the tree" as I am still "waiting for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree."

Don't lose faith, the one who's brave enough will climb that tree when you least expect it. :^)

[Darkwolf377]

watching the tube is not a group activity." Sure it is.

For YOU. ;)

As for your question, no, there is nothing on TV. I only watch the news when I'm eating dinner, and the only times I watch TV is when I'm with a woman who believes as you do. :D Since going cold-turkey on TV in 1997 I've read so many books and simply enjoyed walking, jogging, exercising, watching good movies, etc. Life's too short for TV.

[Cowman]

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a women?
Because, a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet then men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to Stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me "

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, whom do you let in first?
The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman that won't do what she's told.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was "Always."

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
Wedding Cake.

Marriage is a 3-ring circus.
Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering.

Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on TV?"

A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to:
Forget it once.

Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don't?
Bachelors go to the refrigerator, seeing nothing they want, Then go to bed. Married guys go to the bed, seeing nothing they want, then go to the refrigerator.


My wife and I were happy for 20 years -- then we met.

[pissant]

LOL. YOu tell your husband that?

[ZinGirl]

what? not a SINGLE one on that list with a 'freerepublic' reference?

like, "how should I know? I'll check FR".

or, "either get your own computer and screename for FR, or ask me what's going on in the world AFTER I log off....but quit looking/reading over my shoulder!....and, since you're leaving, can you go refill my coffee?"

[oceanperch]

I love your list!

ROFL

[apackof2]

"Don't lose faith, the one who's brave enough will climb that tree when you least expect it. :^)"

Thanks for the encourgement, I need it!

[Romish_Papist]

You're not alone in that. I'm 30 years young and have never been married (no kids, etc). No worries. :) Just gotta hang in there. Believe me, if I can, anyone can.

[SilentServiceCPO]

LOL Great list!

[apackof2]

Thanks for the encouragement but I 've been "Hanging in there" a lot longer than you! LOL

[Romish_Papist]

Well there you go then! You already know how to pull it off! :)

Pax et bonum!