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Foul-mouthed British parrot banished by embarrassed keepers
Yahoo! News ^ | AFP

Posted on 07/26/2005 2:55:48 PM PDT by Michael Goldsberry

LONDON (AFP) - A foul-mouthed parrot previously owned by a lorry driver has been banished from public areas in a British animal sanctuary after repeatedly embarrassing his keepers, they said.

Barney, a five-year-old Macaw, is now kept indoors at Warwickshire Animal Sanctuary in Nuneaton, central England, when outsiders visit after abusing dignitaries with swearword-littered insults.

"He's told a lady mayoress to f..(expletive) off and he told a lady vicar: 'And you can f... off as well'," sanctuary worker Stacey Clark said.

Nor did the forces of law and order escape, she added.

"Two policemen came to have a look at the centre. He told them: 'And you can f... off you two wankers'."

Clark said sanctuary workers believed Barney either picked up the phrases from television or was taught them by his previous owner, a lorry driver who emigrated to Spain.

"He does say 'Hello, big boy' and 'Thank you' when you give him a biscuit," she added.

"But it's mainly naughty words and always to the wrong people. We're trying to teach him not to swear. Macaws are very intelligent birds."


TOPICS: Humor; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS:
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1 posted on 07/26/2005 2:55:49 PM PDT by Michael Goldsberry
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To: MadIvan

LOL Ping!


2 posted on 07/26/2005 2:56:26 PM PDT by Michael Goldsberry (an enemy of islam -- Joe Boucher; Leapfrog; Dr.Zoidberg; Lazamataz; ...)
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To: Leapfrog

OK, that's truly hilarious. :)

Regards, Ivan


3 posted on 07/26/2005 2:57:35 PM PDT by MadIvan (You underestimate the power of the Dark Side - http://www.sithorder.com/)
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To: Leapfrog

So the bird was able to count the policemen.


4 posted on 07/26/2005 2:59:42 PM PDT by GSlob
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To: Leapfrog

"But it's mainly naughty words and always to the wrong people. We're trying to teach him not to swear. Macaws are very intelligent birds."

Maybe *not* to the wrong people. "Macaws are very intelligent birds."


5 posted on 07/26/2005 3:00:47 PM PDT by Fenris6 (3 Purple Hearts in 4 months w/o missing a day of work? He's either John Rambo or a Fraud)
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To: Fenris6

Perhaps Hillary would like one


6 posted on 07/26/2005 3:04:35 PM PDT by newfrpr04
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To: newfrpr04

I was thinking Chirac, but the poor bird would end up on the dinner table.


7 posted on 07/26/2005 3:05:48 PM PDT by Fenris6 (3 Purple Hearts in 4 months w/o missing a day of work? He's either John Rambo or a Fraud)
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To: Leapfrog

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"


8 posted on 07/26/2005 3:25:14 PM PDT by faq (<-- Click on "faq" page to read "Things you may have forgotten about Iraq.")
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To: faq

that's awsome... not the orriginal, (though that was funny), but the john story. :-)


9 posted on 07/26/2005 3:30:36 PM PDT by Attredies
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To: Leapfrog

Winston Churchhill's Blue & Gold macaw had the same problem. When Winston passed away he had willed the bird, which he kept in his wartime office, back to the petstore owner he got the bird from. While back at the petstore, the bird would say things like; "F!@#ing nazi's" or "God dam Hitler". After being embarassed in front of customers from the birds mouth, he ended up taking the bird home with him.
BTW I've got one as well. I really have to start watching what I say around him anymore. He has picked up mf'er, sad to say.
http://home.earthlink.net/~diverteach/Image(12).jpg


10 posted on 07/26/2005 3:46:03 PM PDT by diverteach
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To: Leapfrog

11 posted on 07/26/2005 3:47:06 PM PDT by PaulaB (An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile .. hoping it will eat him last--Winston Churchill)
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To: Leapfrog

I'll take him!


Step Monster's birthday is coming up... he he he!!!


12 posted on 07/26/2005 3:55:40 PM PDT by Dashing Dasher (061006)
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To: Leapfrog



13 posted on 07/26/2005 3:58:17 PM PDT by tiredoflaundry (Tampa Bay, Fl. The lightning capital of the world!)
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To: GSlob

There is some evidence that they can count, and may even understand the concept of zero.


14 posted on 07/26/2005 4:45:00 PM PDT by SWAMPSNIPER (LET ME DIE ON MY FEET IN MY SWAMP, ALEX KOZINSKI FOR SCOTUS)
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To: Leapfrog
A burglar broke into a mansion one night;
He crept in a front window, and found himself in the kitchen. He rifled through the drawers and then entered the dining room. As he opened the cabinet for some antique jewelry on display, he heard a faint voice say "Jesus is watching you!" He paused for a moment, but heard nothing else, so he continued to the sitting room.
Again, he heard the voice; "Jesus is watching you!" He looked around, but the room was empty. Arming himself with a heavy lamp, he proceeded into the dark parlor. In the corner sat a large parrot, who squawked "Jesus is watching you!" very loudly. The burglar put down the lamp and walked over to the cage.
"Alright, you feathered ingrate, just who do you think you are?"
The parrot replied, with all dignity "Sir, I am Moses."
The burglar chuckled "What jerk named you Moses?"
Again, the parrot replied "The same jerk that named the rottweiler Jesus."
15 posted on 07/26/2005 4:52:25 PM PDT by LongElegantLegs ("Se habla, MoFo!")
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To: Leapfrog
'E's not cursing.

'E's just pining for the fjords.

16 posted on 07/26/2005 8:39:50 PM PDT by martin_fierro (</obvious>)
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To: Leapfrog

While I was in college, a friend of mine had to take care of his girlfriends bird (I don't remember what kind). He taught it to say something new & when she returned the bird kept repeating "Terry has small tits". I thought it was hilarious...Terry was not as amused.


17 posted on 07/27/2005 2:45:14 PM PDT by Feiny (Why won't liberals try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?)
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To: Dashing Dasher; pissant

The perfect pet.


18 posted on 07/27/2005 2:48:06 PM PDT by Feiny (Why won't liberals try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?)
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To: Jersey Republican Biker Chick; Xenalyte

Rude Bird Ping


19 posted on 07/27/2005 2:49:15 PM PDT by Feiny (Why won't liberals try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?)
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To: Leapfrog

Bwahahahaahhhahah. I should get a parrot.


20 posted on 07/29/2005 11:11:43 PM PDT by Dan from Michigan (Member - NRA, SAF, MGO, SAFR)
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