Posted on 07/26/2005 2:55:48 PM PDT by Michael Goldsberry
LONDON (AFP) - A foul-mouthed parrot previously owned by a lorry driver has been banished from public areas in a British animal sanctuary after repeatedly embarrassing his keepers, they said.
Barney, a five-year-old Macaw, is now kept indoors at Warwickshire Animal Sanctuary in Nuneaton, central England, when outsiders visit after abusing dignitaries with swearword-littered insults.
"He's told a lady mayoress to f..(expletive) off and he told a lady vicar: 'And you can f... off as well'," sanctuary worker Stacey Clark said.
Nor did the forces of law and order escape, she added.
"Two policemen came to have a look at the centre. He told them: 'And you can f... off you two wankers'."
Clark said sanctuary workers believed Barney either picked up the phrases from television or was taught them by his previous owner, a lorry driver who emigrated to Spain.
"He does say 'Hello, big boy' and 'Thank you' when you give him a biscuit," she added.
"But it's mainly naughty words and always to the wrong people. We're trying to teach him not to swear. Macaws are very intelligent birds."
LOL Ping!
OK, that's truly hilarious. :)
Regards, Ivan
So the bird was able to count the policemen.
"But it's mainly naughty words and always to the wrong people. We're trying to teach him not to swear. Macaws are very intelligent birds."
Maybe *not* to the wrong people. "Macaws are very intelligent birds."
Perhaps Hillary would like one
I was thinking Chirac, but the poor bird would end up on the dinner table.
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
that's awsome... not the orriginal, (though that was funny), but the john story. :-)
Winston Churchhill's Blue & Gold macaw had the same problem. When Winston passed away he had willed the bird, which he kept in his wartime office, back to the petstore owner he got the bird from. While back at the petstore, the bird would say things like; "F!@#ing nazi's" or "God dam Hitler". After being embarassed in front of customers from the birds mouth, he ended up taking the bird home with him.
BTW I've got one as well. I really have to start watching what I say around him anymore. He has picked up mf'er, sad to say.
http://home.earthlink.net/~diverteach/Image(12).jpg
I'll take him!
Step Monster's birthday is coming up... he he he!!!
There is some evidence that they can count, and may even understand the concept of zero.
'E's just pining for the fjords.
While I was in college, a friend of mine had to take care of his girlfriends bird (I don't remember what kind). He taught it to say something new & when she returned the bird kept repeating "Terry has small tits". I thought it was hilarious...Terry was not as amused.
The perfect pet.
Rude Bird Ping
Bwahahahaahhhahah. I should get a parrot.
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