Union Jokes

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[CollegeRepublicanNU]

UAW stands for "U AIN'T WORKING!!!!!!!!"

Did you know that Union people built the pyramids? It was originally designed as a cube. Each shift did a little less till the last said 'throw a rock on top and lets go home'.

Jesus and a Union Guy

Two managers and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked humbly, "Jesus, I've suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam war...could you help me?" "Of course, my son", Jesus said, and when he touched the man's back, he felt relief for the first time in years. The second man, who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving, asked if Jesus could do anything about his eyesight. Jesus smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed them in the lake. When they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly. When Jesus turned to heal the union worker, the guy put his hands up and cried defensively, "Don't touch me! I'm on long term disability."

[CollegeRepublicanNU]

Just some union jokes to laugh about.....

Here's one of my own:

?:What do you call the unemployment line in Detroit? Answer: A picket line.

[xcamel]

AFL-CIO:
American Federation of Leaches, Criminals, Ingrates, and Oddballs

[CollegeRepublicanNU]

I like that one... LOL

Something else I find funny: The maids at the hotel I work at are members of the US Steel Union.

Can somebody explain that one?

[xcamel]

A local "nail salon" has manicurists(??) represented by the garment workers union...

[BreitbartSentMe]

Unionized Brothel

A dedicated union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas
and, as you would expect, decided to check out the local brothels.
When he got to the first one, he asked the Madame, "Is this a union
house?"

"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80, and the girls get $20." Mightily offended at
such unfair dealings, the man stomped off in search of a more
equitable, hopefully unionized shop.

His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the
Madame responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house."

The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"
The Madame replied' " the girls get $80, and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!" the union man said. He looked around the room
and pointed to a stunning attractive blonde. "I'd like her for the
night."

"I'm sure you would sir," said the Madame, then, gesturing to an
obese seventy-five year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has
seniority."

[bert]

....Can somebody explain that one?.....

Of Course.... having destroyed the steel industry there were no more steel workers so the bosses dredged up any ignoratti they could con into paying dues.

[dfwddr]

That is one of my all time favorites !!!! ROFLMAO !!

[Sonny M]

American Federation of Leaches, Criminals, Ingrates, and Oddballs

It looks like the American Federation of Leaches and the Criminals, Ingrates and Oddballs are about to get divorced.

Unless Hillary pulls off the ultimate miracle to keep them together.

[MSU]

You're missing a point. It's not that they con them into paying dues, they force them. Here's how it works. (1) The union threatens vandalism, boycotts or whatever against the company unless they sign a collective bargaining agreement. (2) The company agrees, because they can't afford the losses. (3) The first thing the union negotiates in the contract is a union shop or agency shop. (4) The employees are forced to pay dues to keep their jobs. (5) The union thereafter ignores the worker's interests, except that the union officers try to look like they care enough to get reelected to their union jobs, all of which are overpaid.

[tractorman]

UAW = United Against Work

[kevkrom]

A man walks down the road, but stops at a peculiar sight. Two union guys are working by the side of the road, but the first is simply digging holes while the second is filling them up. Curiousity gets the best of the walker, so he asks the men what they are doing.

"We're a post-hole crew," says the first.

"But what about the posts?"

The other union guy answers, "we're a three man crew -- Bob digs the holes, I fill them, and Charlie puts the posts in, but he's out sick today."

[dd5339]

I'm part of the CWA, (Communications Workers of America). Arond the office it's known as, Can't Win Anything, Cheapest Workers Around, or Communist Workers of America...

Semper Fi

[SMARTY]

I used to work for a major copier company and I was in sales. The manager said that the mfg. group had a union and said 'guess what union it is'. I guessed Electrical Workers...nope...other guesses...nope.

He said that mgmt. knew a union would have to be in place sooner or later so they gave them the weakest union they could. The garment workers. Copier mfg. people in the garment workers union?

[raccoonradio]

Archie Bunker once mistakenly referred to the AFL-CIO as the UFO-CIA.

I remember an article in Mad magazine many years ago--kind of updating fairy tales for the modern world. They had the Three Little Pigs forming a union and protesting how the Big Bad
Wolf (their employer) treated them--so they went on strike and the company went out of business and they wound up unemployed. "And the moral of the story is,
'In unions dere is strength'!"

[jaydubya2]

Yes, The Paper, Allied-Industrial, Chemical and Energy Workers (PACE)(which include service workers) and the United Steel Workers of America (USWA), recently merged. The new union of unions is known as the United Steel Workers (USW). I believed they dropped the "of America" part because the PACE union represented workers in Canada.

[CollegeRepublicanNU]

I'm trying to come up with more funny sayings for the union acroynms... USW... hmmm...

[jaydubya2]

Great, just be kind. Some people on the forum fail to realize that there are conservative union members out there. ;)

[CollegeRepublicanNU]

Oh I have to be careful. While everyone in my family is conservative we had have family members who are teachers here in Michigan and have to be members of the MEA. They have no choice though nor do many other people.

God Bless America and watch over England.

[Martin Tell]

I'm part of the CWA, (Communications Workers of America). Arond the office it's known as, Can't Win Anything...

Years ago I was in management at a Bell company. I was secretly sorry that the CWA was composed of such wimps. Every time the CWA gave in on medical benefits we all suffered.