Posted on 06/17/2005 9:24:52 AM PDT by pissant
This e-mail came to me today. I searched the web to see if I could find the origianl author. Either way, I think its funny:
Eight Words With Two Meanings
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) ad
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a cup.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male: Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family
Male: Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male: A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
Very accurate. But you were too kind to the traitorous bastards!
Female: A dream house in a good neighborhood to raise kids (awww.. who are we kidding... really it's fitting into those jeans you could wear 5 years ago)
Male: Getting your wife's hot friend to "join in"
Magazine (mag-uh-zeen) n.
Female: Literary material pertaining to various subjects such as clothes, cooking, motherhood, and makeup
Male: Those things in the back of the store with the black wrapping on them so that you can't see the boobies until you buy them.
DIAMONDS
Female - a symbol of a man's love and commitment to the relationship.
Male - shiny, expensive rocks which serve no useful purpose but are guaranteed to get me laid.
Female: Oh! Yes!! You're the best!!!
Male: No, that dress does not make you look fat.
...
Male: Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
Well? Do they have any idea just how hard that is? ;)
What you called a "clicker" before the lexicologists added it to the Merriam Webster Standard Collegiate Dictionary.
As an old coot, I remember my first clicker was an infrared operated electro mechanical device that actually clicked. I had that floor model for nine years and replaced that electromechanical switch 5 times!!!!
"Male: Getting your wife's hot friend to "join in""
ROFLMAO! I think you're a natural at these.
Oooh, I'll bet that's right. You'd hit on her...she'd hit you....then her old man would bust a move on your ass...you'd fight back....then wind up in jail.
POLISH
Female: (Well, at least I got a lobster dinner out of this.)
Male: (It's your a** that makes you look fat.)
COMMITMENT
WOMEN: marriage
MEN: sex more than once
Sh*t. You are killing me. LOL
That can only be approached when shopping w/o the wife! LOL
DAMN! I don't which is funnier, your Diamond definition or the fact that YOU posted it! ROFL!
(darn good to see ya!!!)
add: Of course I never think of other women! ;o)
Apparently not! LOL
FOREPLAY:
Female: an integral part of any session of intimacy
Male: Ten minutes of begging and pleading
Thank GOD for technology. But I would gladly give up the clicker cause I hate TV!
SOunds about right! LOL
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