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Eight Words with Two Meanings
StrangeCosmos ^ | 5/05 | staff

Posted on 06/17/2005 9:24:52 AM PDT by pissant

This e-mail came to me today. I searched the web to see if I could find the origianl author. Either way, I think its funny:

Eight Words With Two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.

Female: Any part under a car's hood.

Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) ad

Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.

Male: Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.

Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.

Male: Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.

Female: A desire to get married and raise a family

Male: Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.

Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.

Male: Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.

Female: An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.

Male: A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7. MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.

Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.

Male: Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.

Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.

Male: A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: menvswomen
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To: Betaille

Very accurate. But you were too kind to the traitorous bastards!


21 posted on 06/17/2005 9:42:43 AM PDT by pissant
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To: pissant
13. FANTASY

Female: A dream house in a good neighborhood to raise kids (awww.. who are we kidding... really it's fitting into those jeans you could wear 5 years ago)

Male: Getting your wife's hot friend to "join in"

22 posted on 06/17/2005 9:42:44 AM PDT by kevkrom (“It’s good to remember whom people turn to when they’re desperate — and it ain’t Kofi Annan.”)
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To: pissant

Magazine (mag-uh-zeen) n.

Female: Literary material pertaining to various subjects such as clothes, cooking, motherhood, and makeup

Male: Those things in the back of the store with the black wrapping on them so that you can't see the boobies until you buy them.


23 posted on 06/17/2005 9:43:51 AM PDT by Betaille
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To: pissant

DIAMONDS

Female - a symbol of a man's love and commitment to the relationship.

Male - shiny, expensive rocks which serve no useful purpose but are guaranteed to get me laid.


24 posted on 06/17/2005 9:44:46 AM PDT by SilentServiceCPOWife (We are merely players, performers & portrayers, each another's audience outside the gilded cage)
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To: pissant
14. ACCEPTABLE "WHITE LIE"

Female: Oh! Yes!! You're the best!!!

Male: No, that dress does not make you look fat.

25 posted on 06/17/2005 9:44:52 AM PDT by kevkrom (“It’s good to remember whom people turn to when they’re desperate — and it ain’t Kofi Annan.”)
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To: pissant
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.

...

Male: Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

Well? Do they have any idea just how hard that is? ;)

26 posted on 06/17/2005 9:44:53 AM PDT by Mr. Jeeves ("Violence never settles anything." Genghis Khan, 1162-1227)
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To: pissant
# 8. Remote Control!

What you called a "clicker" before the lexicologists added it to the Merriam Webster Standard Collegiate Dictionary.

As an old coot, I remember my first clicker was an infrared operated electro mechanical device that actually clicked. I had that floor model for nine years and replaced that electromechanical switch 5 times!!!!

27 posted on 06/17/2005 9:45:14 AM PDT by Young Werther
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To: kevkrom

"Male: Getting your wife's hot friend to "join in""

ROFLMAO! I think you're a natural at these.


28 posted on 06/17/2005 9:45:31 AM PDT by Betaille
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To: pissant
I think our Teeny is jailbait, but for different reasons!

Oooh, I'll bet that's right. You'd hit on her...she'd hit you....then her old man would bust a move on your ass...you'd fight back....then wind up in jail.

29 posted on 06/17/2005 9:46:21 AM PDT by Bloody Sam Roberts (Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk)
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To: pissant

POLISH


30 posted on 06/17/2005 9:47:00 AM PDT by KC_Conspirator (This space outsourced to India)
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To: kevkrom
14b. WHAT THEY'RE THINKING DURING THAT "WHITE LIE"

Female: (Well, at least I got a lobster dinner out of this.)

Male: (It's your a** that makes you look fat.)

31 posted on 06/17/2005 9:48:21 AM PDT by kevkrom (“It’s good to remember whom people turn to when they’re desperate — and it ain’t Kofi Annan.”)
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To: pissant

COMMITMENT


WOMEN: marriage

MEN: sex more than once


32 posted on 06/17/2005 9:48:38 AM PDT by motormouth
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To: kevkrom

Sh*t. You are killing me. LOL


33 posted on 06/17/2005 9:49:42 AM PDT by pissant
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To: Betaille

That can only be approached when shopping w/o the wife! LOL


34 posted on 06/17/2005 9:50:29 AM PDT by pissant
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To: SilentServiceCPOWife

DAMN! I don't which is funnier, your Diamond definition or the fact that YOU posted it! ROFL!







(darn good to see ya!!!)


35 posted on 06/17/2005 9:51:54 AM PDT by pissant
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To: kevkrom

add: Of course I never think of other women! ;o)


36 posted on 06/17/2005 9:52:45 AM PDT by pissant
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To: Mr. Jeeves

Apparently not! LOL


37 posted on 06/17/2005 9:53:06 AM PDT by pissant
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To: kevkrom
Try this.....

FOREPLAY:

Female: an integral part of any session of intimacy

Male: Ten minutes of begging and pleading

38 posted on 06/17/2005 9:53:07 AM PDT by ken5050
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To: Young Werther

Thank GOD for technology. But I would gladly give up the clicker cause I hate TV!


39 posted on 06/17/2005 9:54:01 AM PDT by pissant
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To: Bloody Sam Roberts

SOunds about right! LOL


40 posted on 06/17/2005 9:54:33 AM PDT by pissant
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