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To All *Freepers* The worst date you have ever been on!
Vanity | June 15th,2005 | missyme/pissant

Posted on 06/15/2005 9:14:02 AM PDT by missyme

I am sure we all have some funny stories to share on this topic!


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Computers/Internet; Hobbies; Humor; Miscellaneous; Society
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To: The SISU kid

You're too kind...it was a parable..not the truth..though I fear that 98% here failed to see the cunning pun..(I suppose I could post a link to a Morgan website, but nah....)


201 posted on 06/15/2005 11:16:01 AM PDT by ken5050
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To: Skooz

LOL!! So true...


202 posted on 06/15/2005 11:16:53 AM PDT by EX52D
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To: Dashing Dasher

That was a DIFFERENT dakine... common name, often mistaken...


203 posted on 06/15/2005 11:19:07 AM PDT by dakine
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To: Slings and Arrows; ken5050
FYI..I'm 6'4" and yes, it is possible in a VW Beetle..if, IF, she's a gymnast

or a contortionist....

204 posted on 06/15/2005 11:19:19 AM PDT by The SISU kid (Think of me what you will, I've found a little void to fill)
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To: missyme
...the bible says "A Man will Sin 7 times and proceeded to tell me if I dated him it would only be his 3rd sin and he had 4 left!!

*writing that one down*
205 posted on 06/15/2005 11:19:20 AM PDT by BJClinton (Newsweak Lied, People Died)
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To: All

Sorry, I had to bail for a minute. Got pinged to another thread while I was having a good time here. A damn drive-by Bush basher troll over on a Terri Schiavo thread.

I hate that.


206 posted on 06/15/2005 11:19:25 AM PDT by conservativebabe
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To: The SISU kid

not only would that be possible..it would be heaven..


207 posted on 06/15/2005 11:20:29 AM PDT by ken5050
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To: missyme
New Year's Eve, 1995
New Year's Eve, 1998

I don't go out on New Year's Eve anymore.

208 posted on 06/15/2005 11:22:03 AM PDT by 1rudeboy
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To: All

Rule # 4 of Dating-
"Never Date Someone Who Doesn't Speak Your Language"
(Or Thinks Burqas are Sexy)

When I was dancing, my Moroccan Bosses had brought relatives over to work in the restaurant. One was a guy who worked in the kitchen with a visa (I believe). I think he was a dentist and was hoping to stay here permanently.

Anyhow, he always was up in the office chatting with them in Moroccan when I was up there in the dressing room. One night, the 'Big' Boss yells out through the door "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Well, I'm standing there trying to change for the next set and nervous and not thinking I yell back, "NO!"

Moroccan chatter, then,
"Are you dating anyone!" followed by excited Moroccan chatter.

OK, now I'm getting really nervous, 'cuz it's pretty common in this particular restaurant for the married guys to have 'girlfriends'. So I poke my head out the door and glare him. "NO! Why are you asking''!

He points to his cousin (who can speak all of 4 words of English).... "He wants to date you."
At this point I see about 10 sets of eyes on me...the Bosses, their wives, kids etc. All smiling.

I kinda corned, ifyaknowaddamean.

So I shrug and say "Sure" thinking, what can come of one date? (with no conversation!).

Sooo, we go out (I have to drive) to a movie. It's pleasant enough, but again, about 4 sentences of conversation. Movie is OK. He keeps saying something about the movie "The Titanic". I tell him, with sign language that I HATED the movie. (Maybe the gagging hand sign means something else in Moroccan). I take him home thinking "There, I've done my duty, now I'll just lay low for a while."

Er, wrong....

Next day he comes to work, bringing me a copy of "The Titanic", and telling me he's called Mom in Morocco and told her all about us. He's down on one knee, happy and excited. Then it dawns on me what the sentence with "US" and Mom means in Moroccan.

OK, at this point, my eyes are buggin' out cuz there ain't no "US" to talk about. A conversation consisting of repeating 4 sentences, a Pepsi and a shared box of popcorn does not an "US" make.

I ask him what he means and he proposes....
I say "No, thank you very much".
He says "But you're alone"
I say, "I like being alone."
He looks confused, like this sentence doesn't make sense and tries again.

This conversation repeats for about 5 minutes, with him looking more and more dumbfounded. He finally left, totally baffled. My guess was he was looking for a lonely Green Card. And yeah, the Bosses were major miffed with me.

Needless to say, I wasn't working there much longer.


209 posted on 06/15/2005 11:22:29 AM PDT by najida (Heat index of 105 and me with doors to paint and no AC. Yeah, I'm cranky.)
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To: najida

Ever pretend to be a lesbian while out with girlfriends to avoid talking to a guy? I did that once. Doesn't work, they like it.


210 posted on 06/15/2005 11:23:52 AM PDT by conservativebabe
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To: conservativebabe

Speaking as a guy, it's probably the worst thing you can do. :0)


211 posted on 06/15/2005 11:25:08 AM PDT by Skooz (Perverts used to have to hang around public toilets. Now, they run our schools - Travis McGee)
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To: Skooz

LOL! I found that out. Not only did we have this guy, but then a group of his friends hounding us too!


212 posted on 06/15/2005 11:26:14 AM PDT by conservativebabe
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To: missyme

Never been on a bad date. I make the chicks buy my beer. ;o)


213 posted on 06/15/2005 11:26:14 AM PDT by pissant
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To: missyme

I still don't have a clue! Nada! But I listen...:-)


214 posted on 06/15/2005 11:26:25 AM PDT by JoeSixPack1
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To: Dashing Dasher

Awww!

I have a new kitten who likes to hide under my dresser and tease my older cat. When he does, it looks like the dresser has grown a pair of kitty legs.


215 posted on 06/15/2005 11:26:41 AM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Michael Jackson is as innocent as O. J. Simpson.)
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To: pissant

Rico Suave


216 posted on 06/15/2005 11:27:02 AM PDT by conservativebabe
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To: conservativebabe
Ever pretend to be a lesbian while out with girlfriends

All the time. :o)

217 posted on 06/15/2005 11:27:23 AM PDT by TheBigB (Why yes, I -do- rock! Thanks for noticing!)
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To: conservativebabe

Guys get turned on by lesbians (which is weird to me).

Look fellas, if two women are together, and they know how the 'Go' panel on each other works, WHY would they want to risk bringing in a fella who might be able to find it with a map, floodlight and instructions?


218 posted on 06/15/2005 11:27:33 AM PDT by najida (Heat index of 105 and me with doors to paint and no AC. Yeah, I'm cranky.)
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To: pissant
Never been on a bad date. I make the chicks buy my beer. ;o)

Using a loaded pistol or a Jedi Mind Trick?

Regards, Ivan

219 posted on 06/15/2005 11:28:11 AM PDT by MadIvan (You underestimate the power of the Dark Side - http://www.sithorder.com/)
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To: missyme; cyborg; najida; Dashing Dasher
Once in college, I was out walking on campus on a November evening with a young lady. I happened to notice that the moon was nearly full...so on a whim, I say "I have to confess something to you. I'm a member of a secret pagan cult on campus. We are planning to sacrifice a virgin at the full moon, which is in a couple of days...and you've been selected."

"So," I continued very reasonably, "...there's only ONE WAY to SAVE YOURSELF...!"

she didn't buy it.

220 posted on 06/15/2005 11:28:38 AM PDT by Oberon (What does it take to make government shrink?)
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