Posted on 06/11/2005 2:26:04 AM PDT by american_ranger
I am launching a posting where we post the punch line to a joke and then we wait for some one to post the joke and comments about it.
Maybe, but my #93 and #96 jokes are pretty good, though I'll wait to see if anyone guesses them.
Those aren't pillows!
Cussing parrot in the freezer joke -
Check 25 and 38.
I know the naked in the fridge one - but will hold off to make sure I get it just right.
;-)
A hog won't spend 50 bucks on a bar tab trying to get a pig to go to bed with him.
It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died."
The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died."
St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.
He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!"
St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.
"Tell me about the day you died?", he said to the third man in line.
"OK, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."
Difference between a hog and a pig?
Planes, Trains and Automobiles - John Candy and Steve Martin...
Nope.
Difference between a hog and a man.
I like what you're doin' just fine lady, but I can't take 67 more of those!
The story of the foul talking fowl.
Another version has the parrot noticing the turkey and asking if he had said the "F" word.
you can bet your A$$ I don't want any cheerios
He said he thinks he knows ya!
That's what I said.
;-)
Don't ask the B*tch in the kitchen for Cheerios.
Same one I reckon?
Thats all you do bird imitations?
That one was on MASH years ago.
"Not only did I get the job, I'm working on a murder case!"
A blonde decides she wants to get a job at the police department, so she applies and is being interviewed by the chief...
CHIEF: What's 2 times 8?
BLONDE: 16!
CHIEF: What's the square root of 100?
BLONDE: 10!
CHIEF: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?
BLONDE: Gee... I don't know...
CHIEF: Well, thanks for applying, when you know the answer, let me know.
So the Blonde goes home, one of her friends comes over...
FRIEND: So, did you get the job at the police department?
BLONDE: Not only did I get the job, I'm working on a murder case!!!!
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