Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

"Bedfellows" by Harry Turtledove (BARF ALERT!)
Fantasy & Science Fiction Magazine | June 2005 | Turtledove

Posted on 05/04/2005 9:38:53 PM PDT by TheDon

"They're in love, and they want to tell the world about it. W is tall, in a conservative-compassionate, oh yes, but conservative-gray suit with television-blue shirt and maroon necktie. O is taller, and his turban lends him a few extra inches besides."

...

"They stop. They turn so they're face to face. They gaze into each other's eyes. Now they have both hands clasped together. Anyone can tell it's love. "We need each other," W says. Even if he doesn't talk real well, he gets the message across. "My infidel," O says fondly. "My little terrorist." W's eyes glow. You've seen couples who say the same thing at the same time? They do it here. "Without him," they both say, each pointing to the other, "I'm nothing." O strokes W's cheek. W swats O on the butt. They're grinning when they go into the judge's chambers."

...

"Do you take each other to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, as long as you both shall live?" "I do." W and O answer together. Proudly. "Then by the authority vested in me by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, I now pronounce you man and, uh, man."

...

"I love you," says W. "You made me what I am today." "And you me." O kisses W,...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: barfalert; bigtimebarf; faggotfanfic; turtledove
Who is Harry Turtledove?

Old stories, new boundaries: What-if questions are answered in different worlds

As one who has enjoyed Harry's alternate history fiction, I was sorry to see him when he let his liberal slip show.

1 posted on 05/04/2005 9:38:53 PM PDT by TheDon
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: TheDon

I don't have any idea who, or what, a Mr. Harry Turtledove is, but this is a thoroughly disgusting piece.


2 posted on 05/04/2005 9:42:15 PM PDT by Theresawithanh (Dijon-vu - - the same ol' mustard as yesterday)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: TheDon
Heh. "O" wishes. That is, if that pighumper's alive to wish anything.

Stick to speculative history, Harry, and leave the clever humor to those of us who know how.

3 posted on 05/04/2005 9:42:41 PM PDT by RichInOC (DUB: HOW ARE YOU OSAMA!! ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: TheDon

yah, that's disappointing.....


4 posted on 05/04/2005 9:42:56 PM PDT by Wneighbor
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: TheDon

Subject matter aside: holy shiite, that is a BAAAAD piece of writing.


5 posted on 05/04/2005 9:44:21 PM PDT by Calico Cat (the simplest solution is usually the correct one)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: TheDon
OMG, first click and clack, and now this guy.

Oh well, in his bookjacket picture, he looks like the sort of seedy old man you'd expect to find lurking near a school wearing only an overcoat, black socks, and shoes.
6 posted on 05/04/2005 9:44:51 PM PDT by A Balrog of Morgoth (With fire, sword, and stinging whip I drive the Rats in terror before me.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: TheDon

I tried to read Turtledove's WorldWar series. The first volume piqued my interest, and I foolishly purchased the next 3 tomes thinking the quality would remain a constant (or even improve). Imagine my shock when I could barely finish Volume 2. Sam Yeager is the most repugnant character in literature. And the mindless repetition, the cut-and-paste narrative (you know what I mean), the failure to use the historical giants to full effect, the...well, I won't go on. I didn't even try to finish the series, as you can probably tell.

Why doesn't Turtledove write an alternate history of what would have happened had Gore won in 2000 (titled, the Fall of America)? Or JK in 2004 (Dhimmitude Comes to Everytown, USA)? I love the idea of the alternate history novel (have some ideas of my own that will never see the light of day), but Turtledove is, in my estimation, a poor writer (albeit a very knowledgeable historian).


7 posted on 05/04/2005 9:46:42 PM PDT by Cyclopean Squid (History remembers only what was, not what might have been.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Calico Cat

Yep. If Turtledove wrote it he needs another editor. Embarrassing.


8 posted on 05/04/2005 9:46:50 PM PDT by Billthedrill
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: TheDon

9 posted on 05/04/2005 9:47:42 PM PDT by Borges
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Cyclopean Squid
I tried to read Turtledove's WorldWar series.

So have I, and if this is the kind of trash that swirls through his mind, I'm glad I didn't waste my time.


10 posted on 05/04/2005 9:53:17 PM PDT by Kenny Bunkport
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: TheDon

Wish I hadn't clicked.... sigh, well, he writes some good stuff. His alternate histories - not the ones with aliens or fantasy stuff - are really, really good. And I met him in person at a booksigning/reading and he was a great guy, very personable, talked about some of his short stories and it really enhanced things.

This is just stupid.


11 posted on 05/04/2005 9:57:10 PM PDT by JenB (Brain the size of a planet, and they have me opening doors...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: TheDon

This probably wasn't a smart move for old Harry.

How many liberals read books where the U.S. actually wins?


12 posted on 05/04/2005 10:00:29 PM PDT by A Balrog of Morgoth (With fire, sword, and stinging whip I drive the Rats in terror before me.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Cyclopean Squid
I didn't even try to finish the series, as you can probably tell.

Don't worry... it doesn't end... and Yeager gets worse, finally reaching the point (IIRC) where he turns traitor and tells the invaders that it was the US that nuked their ship. It may be this plot element that seems to have truncated the publishing of this continuing series...

13 posted on 05/04/2005 10:15:15 PM PDT by Swordmaker (tagline now open, please ring bell.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Swordmaker

Thanks for the update. After I realized I wouldn't finish the novels, I did some reading up on Amazon's review pages. I gave up reading even the crib notes version and didn't know that Yeager went turncoat. Ugghhh. Yeager. There's something about him that makes him with worst villain in that series (even before the perfidy)--his behavior with Barbara & Jens, the awful "friendship" and "understanding" of the Lizards...I can't put my finger on it, but he was truly a disturbing character...and Turtledove tried to paint him as a hero!


14 posted on 05/04/2005 10:21:35 PM PDT by Cyclopean Squid (History remembers only what was, not what might have been.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: TheDon
Was this crapwork written for the walls of a latrine? This almost meets the minimum absurdity standards necessary for getting a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts.
15 posted on 05/04/2005 10:58:45 PM PDT by Jaysun (The road to despotism is paved with "fairness")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Cyclopean Squid

The only consistently good stuff that he's put out is the Videssos series and the Agent Of Byzantium arc. That's about it. His WorldWar series started off OK, but as you said, it went to Skotos (ack, ptui) in a handbasket in a hurry. The rest of his stuff should be consigned to the Void.


16 posted on 05/04/2005 11:25:51 PM PDT by Spktyr (Overwhelmingly superior firepower and the willingness to use it is the only proven peace solution.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: JenB

I've had some pleasant exchanges with Turtledove in a fanzine. Good guy, even when I disagree with him.


17 posted on 05/05/2005 5:13:19 AM PDT by Celtjew Libertarian (Shake Hands with the Serpent: Poetry by Charles Lipsig aka Celtjew http://books.lulu.com/lipsig)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: Swordmaker

"It may be this plot element that seems to have truncated the publishing of this continuing series..."

I guess you haven't been following the series. It's now up to about 10 books, including "Homeward Bound" that just came out. It certainly hasn't been 'truncated'.

Sam Yeager found out that the Lizards were going to undertake a massive atomic retaliation against the world that would have killed hundreds of millions of people. He also did not like the fact that we launched a sneak attack against civilians. He did what he thought was right. But even later he still is conflicted about the incident and wonders if he did the right thing.

It was certainly not an easy decision for him.


18 posted on 05/05/2005 10:31:05 PM PDT by chaosagent (It's all right to be crazy. Just don't let it drive you nuts.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: chaosagent
I guess you haven't been following the series. It's now up to about 10 books, including "Homeward Bound" that just came out. It certainly hasn't been 'truncated'.

I have been looking for more books in this series but none have shown up at the local Barnes and Noble. Can you provide a list of the books in the series?

Thanks.

19 posted on 05/06/2005 12:16:29 AM PDT by Swordmaker (tagline now open, please ring bell.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: Swordmaker
Actually it looks like it's 8 books, not 10.

Worldwar:
In the Balance
Tilting the Balance
Upsetting the Balance
Striking the Balance

Worldwar Colonization:
Second Contact
Down to Earth
Aftershocks

Epilogue:
Homeward Bound
20 posted on 05/08/2005 1:49:36 PM PDT by chaosagent (It's all right to be crazy. Just don't let it drive you nuts.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson