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1 posted on 05/04/2005 4:51:44 AM PDT by genefromjersey
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To: genefromjersey

Ta daaaa!


2 posted on 05/04/2005 4:52:58 AM PDT by clee1 (We use 43 muscles to frown, 17 to smile, and 2 to pull a trigger. I'm lazy and I'm tired of smiling.)
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To: genefromjersey

Groan.


3 posted on 05/04/2005 4:54:12 AM PDT by tuffydoodle
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To: genefromjersey

How sad.


4 posted on 05/04/2005 4:56:53 AM PDT by AppyPappy (If You're Not A Part Of The Solution, There's Good Money To Be Made In Prolonging The Problem.)
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To: genefromjersey

I propose we do a pun/shaggy dog story/joke thread, but only post the punchlines!

I'll start:

"The squaw on the hippopotomus is equal to the son of the squaws on the two hides"


5 posted on 05/04/2005 4:58:05 AM PDT by ko_kyi
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To: genefromjersey

Dang, that is a deal! They're $2.99 each in my neck of the woods. ;-)


6 posted on 05/04/2005 4:58:34 AM PDT by Quilla
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To: genefromjersey
Just for that... you get this !


7 posted on 05/04/2005 4:58:56 AM PDT by fieldmarshaldj (*Gregoire is French for Stealing an Election*)
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To: genefromjersey
SPECIAL BULLETIN !!

You naughty, naughty freeper you.
8 posted on 05/04/2005 4:59:34 AM PDT by MaryFromMichigan
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To: genefromjersey
Absolutely the best joke I ever heard in my life.

Lettuce now all clap in unison for this memorable vanity.

Leni

9 posted on 05/04/2005 5:01:00 AM PDT by MinuteGal ("The Marines keep coming. We are shooting, but the Marines won't stop !" (Fallujah Terrorists)
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To: genefromjersey

SLOW NEWS SWEEPPS


10 posted on 05/04/2005 5:02:59 AM PDT by oceanperch (It's not those who know their crazy that worry me. Watching my back for the ones claiming sanity.)
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To: genefromjersey; ko_kyi

Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?


11 posted on 05/04/2005 5:04:39 AM PDT by bd476
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To: genefromjersey

Ouch. Do you have any idea how old that is? My grandfather used to tell that joke.


16 posted on 05/04/2005 5:12:24 AM PDT by cripplecreek (I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier!)
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To: genefromjersey
I see that you really liked this joke...

Speaking of husbands and wives:

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

Just think, if it wasn't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

A Woman's Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man , to love and to forgive him, and for Patience,
for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to death.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bubba and Junior
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder."

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.

Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"

17 posted on 05/04/2005 5:13:46 AM PDT by Pillows
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To: genefromjersey

19 posted on 05/04/2005 5:15:40 AM PDT by Nick Danger (Honey, Intel wants to go outside)
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To: genefromjersey
A super-calloused, fragile mystic with expert halitosis.
20 posted on 05/04/2005 5:18:15 AM PDT by MaryFromMichigan (The koala tea of Mercy is not strained)
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To: genefromjersey

Being from Jersey, why was it not Shop-Rite, Acme or Key Food? This pun is showing Ohio roots naming Kroger's as the supermarket. (:-D


23 posted on 05/04/2005 5:29:09 AM PDT by Pharmboy ("Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God")
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