[ko_kyi]

I propose we do a pun/shaggy dog story/joke thread, but only post the punchlines!

I'll start:

"The squaw on the hippopotomus is equal to the son of the squaws on the two hides"

[Gunrunner2]

Okay. . .

"If a sheep is a ram and a donkey an ass. . .why is a ram in the ass a goose?"

[jurroppi1]

It's a knickknack Patty Whack, give the frog a loan... His old man's a Rolling Stone.

[tuffydoodle]

A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "that new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?"

The man replies, "all I can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious...Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegtables, everything."

"Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome." "Why chrome?" asks the patient.

To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

[tuffydoodle]

There was this guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot.

One day he went to work to find that a new girl had started. Her name was Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous. He became quite besotted with her and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too.

But this guy was a loyal man and he wouldn't get involved with Clearly while he was still going out with Lorraine.

He decided that there was nothing for it but to break up with her and get it on with the new girl.

He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it. One day they went for a walk along the river bank when Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river. The current carried her off and she drowned.

The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing: "I can see Clearly now Lorraine has gone"

[kevkrom]

"Two obese Pattys, Special Ross, Lester G picking bunyons on a Sesame Street bus!"

[cuz_it_aint_their_money]

I'll continue:
< while tapping my forehead> "Kidneys, Man, Kidneys!"

[Argh]

The whole "joke" (a triple pun): If I kick the orchestra conductor in the gounods, it'll make his pekka sor.