The Wit and Wisdom of Will Rogers

[yankeedame]

The Wit and Wisdom of Will Rogers

Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was probably the greatest political sage this country has ever known. Enjoy the following quotes----

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1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.

2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

5. Always drink upstream from the herd.

6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.

8. There are three kinds of men
The ones that learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

10. If you're riding' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n puttin' it back.

12. AND FINALLY: After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him... The moral When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
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AND, ABOUT GROWING OLDER............

First, Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second, The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third, Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth, When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth, You know you are getting old when every thing either dries up or leaks.

Sixth, I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh, One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Eighth, One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.

Nineth,Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Tenth, Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

And finally, If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

[jocon307]

4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

LOL, remember a while back the flap over what Jacques Chirac said to the "new europe" countries when they were supportive of Bush? That they'd missed a good chance to shut up, or be quiet, etc. I saw many analysis of this, along with a variety of translations, but never once did I see it pointed out that M. Chirac was quoting Will Rogers

[Killborn]

"8. There are three kinds of men
The ones that learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves. "

Liberal voters are the third type. Liberal polticians are the first type, and we all know which book they read.

[LiteKeeper]

read later

[cloud8]

"If there are no dogs in Heaven,
then when I die I want to go
where they went."

Will Rogers, 1897-1935