Posted on 03/23/2005 6:52:10 PM PST by John Robertson
Fat chicks with big hair stand out like an elephant at a flamingo farm.
I didn't know that till I read it here. I read this here, too, in response to someone who was making too fine a point on something: My, my, picking pepper out of flyshit, aren't we?
What are the coolest expressions you know? The greatest folksy putdowns? The wish-I'd'a-said-that comebacks. The most colorful damned American ways of saying things?
Care to share? I would very much like to liven up my smartmouth. Thank you, folks.
And for those of you who got nothin'...please refer back to the title. Just kidding: I heard that on FR too.
'He thinks he's cooler than the other side of the pillow.'
This is one about hair: "Your hair looks like a stump full of grandaddies."
For those who don't know what a grandaddy is, it's a kind of longlegged spider that hovers around doors trying to come in the house when the weather gets warmer. Some people call them "grandaddy longlegs". They're harmless and don't bite.
Wagon wheels have spokes. If you cut a wagon wheel in half, it would look like a big comb with lots of space between the teeth - so you couldn't do a very good job of combing your hair.
If you cut a garbage bag or a glass of water in half, good luck combing your hair with them.
quit grabbing my polyps as you go by
[........] is so stupid, if he fell down he'd miss the dirt.
YES!!! We have a cabin in Potter County that has a "crick" running past it! My dad ALWAYS said crick, we teased him about it as kids. That is too funny.
Yep, thanks - Richard Kimball posted the whole song in post 57. Now I have to figure out a way to give it to my dad somehow. Maybe on a plaque...
:)
That would gag a maggot on a gut wagon.
Hmm, good points. No doubt you're absolutely right. In that case, here's a more sufficient revision - "You look like you combed your hair with a picket fence."
How's that?
Now that a learn Ya.
I gotta learn to read all the replies first, before I make my own. I stated a factual error in a reply once and must have been corrected about 15 times after I acknowledged my error.
"Old Dan Tucker" was a song we sang in about the first or second grade and that was more than 50 years ago. It has stayed with me all that time. Your Dad probably sang it when he was a kid too.
"Jimmy Crack Corn" was another one - and I still don't care if he did.
How about: "I'm trying to see it from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my @$$."
ROFLOL!
That someone is nuttier than squirrel sh-t.
Fun thread ping...
Gadzooks! Faith, I doth like it.
(exeunt)
Thou mammering clay-brained wagtail!
"Just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to act like one."
Lots of males, few men.
Many have one, few have TWO.
RINOs, CINOs, HINOs and Ted Kennedy (WINOs) come to mind....
"You can't argue with an ___hole, you can only wipe it out."
WINNER of the terrorist/ACLU member insult of the day!
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