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Lots of Freepers Are Dumber Than a Box of Hair (can you folks help me on this?)
March 23, 2005 | JohnRobertson

Posted on 03/23/2005 6:52:10 PM PST by John Robertson

Fat chicks with big hair stand out like an elephant at a flamingo farm.

I didn't know that till I read it here. I read this here, too, in response to someone who was making too fine a point on something: My, my, picking pepper out of flyshit, aren't we?

What are the coolest expressions you know? The greatest folksy putdowns? The wish-I'd'a-said-that comebacks. The most colorful damned American ways of saying things?

Care to share? I would very much like to liven up my smartmouth. Thank you, folks.

And for those of you who got nothin'...please refer back to the title. Just kidding: I heard that on FR too.


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: etc; folkwisdom; wittysayings
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To: John Robertson

'He thinks he's cooler than the other side of the pillow.'


121 posted on 03/24/2005 4:15:50 AM PST by OhioAttorney
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To: John Robertson

This is one about hair: "Your hair looks like a stump full of grandaddies."

For those who don't know what a grandaddy is, it's a kind of longlegged spider that hovers around doors trying to come in the house when the weather gets warmer. Some people call them "grandaddy longlegs". They're harmless and don't bite.


122 posted on 03/24/2005 4:22:18 AM PST by Twinkie ( I'm testing to see how many people read taglines. You did.)
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To: agrace

Wagon wheels have spokes. If you cut a wagon wheel in half, it would look like a big comb with lots of space between the teeth - so you couldn't do a very good job of combing your hair.

If you cut a garbage bag or a glass of water in half, good luck combing your hair with them.


123 posted on 03/24/2005 4:31:26 AM PST by Twinkie ( I'm testing to see how many people read taglines. You did.)
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To: John Robertson

quit grabbing my polyps as you go by


124 posted on 03/24/2005 4:36:38 AM PST by sure_fine (*not one to over kill the thought process*)
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To: John Robertson

[........] is so stupid, if he fell down he'd miss the dirt.


125 posted on 03/24/2005 4:39:08 AM PST by Cincinatus' Wife
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To: andysandmikesmom
Now, heres another one for you...whenever my dad talked about a 'creek'...he never pronounced it as such...he always pronounced, it as 'crick'....and I have always done the same...it used to drive my younger son nuts...he could not understand, why I insisted on saying 'crick' instead of creek...it was just how I grew up...

YES!!! We have a cabin in Potter County that has a "crick" running past it! My dad ALWAYS said crick, we teased him about it as kids. That is too funny.

126 posted on 03/24/2005 4:49:13 AM PST by agrace
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To: Graybeard58

Yep, thanks - Richard Kimball posted the whole song in post 57. Now I have to figure out a way to give it to my dad somehow. Maybe on a plaque...

:)


127 posted on 03/24/2005 4:51:04 AM PST by agrace
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To: John Robertson

That would gag a maggot on a gut wagon.


128 posted on 03/24/2005 4:52:06 AM PST by Cincinatus' Wife
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To: Twinkie

Hmm, good points. No doubt you're absolutely right. In that case, here's a more sufficient revision - "You look like you combed your hair with a picket fence."

How's that?


129 posted on 03/24/2005 4:53:46 AM PST by agrace
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To: agrace
I've heard (about Hillary!) She could eat corn through a picket fence.


130 posted on 03/24/2005 4:57:10 AM PST by Cincinatus' Wife
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To: John Robertson
When ever we did something stupid my dad would say:

Now that a learn Ya.

131 posted on 03/24/2005 5:07:21 AM PST by just me
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To: agrace

I gotta learn to read all the replies first, before I make my own. I stated a factual error in a reply once and must have been corrected about 15 times after I acknowledged my error.

"Old Dan Tucker" was a song we sang in about the first or second grade and that was more than 50 years ago. It has stayed with me all that time. Your Dad probably sang it when he was a kid too.

"Jimmy Crack Corn" was another one - and I still don't care if he did.


132 posted on 03/24/2005 5:22:32 AM PST by Graybeard58 (Remember and pray for Spec.4 Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: Jack Deth

How about: "I'm trying to see it from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my @$$."


133 posted on 03/24/2005 5:24:14 AM PST by sweetliberty (Somebody please pull the death brigade's feeding tube!)
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To: Graybeard58
"Jimmy Crack Corn" was another one - and I still don't care if he did.

ROFLOL!

134 posted on 03/24/2005 5:28:14 AM PST by agrace
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To: John Robertson

That someone is nuttier than squirrel sh-t.


135 posted on 03/24/2005 5:30:34 AM PST by aruanan
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To: jwfiv

Fun thread ping...


136 posted on 03/24/2005 5:30:45 AM PST by Serb5150 (Christlich leben selig sterben ist das beste das wir erben.)
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To: Blurblogger; Constitution Day

Gadzooks! Faith, I doth like it.

(exeunt)


137 posted on 03/24/2005 5:59:30 AM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: martin_fierro

Thou mammering clay-brained wagtail!


138 posted on 03/24/2005 6:05:06 AM PST by Constitution Day ("Please do not emanate into the penumbra.")
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To: Liz; John Robertson; martin_fierro; PilloryHillary

"Just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to act like one."

Lots of males, few men.

Many have one, few have TWO.

RINOs, CINOs, HINOs and Ted Kennedy (WINOs) come to mind....


139 posted on 03/24/2005 7:19:48 AM PST by The Spirit Of Allegiance (ATTN. MARXIST RED MSM: I RESENT your "RED STATE" switcheroo using our ELECTORAL MAP as PROPAGANDA!)
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To: agitator

"You can't argue with an ___hole, you can only wipe it out."


WINNER of the terrorist/ACLU member insult of the day!


140 posted on 03/24/2005 7:21:54 AM PST by The Spirit Of Allegiance (ATTN. MARXIST RED MSM: I RESENT your "RED STATE" switcheroo using our ELECTORAL MAP as PROPAGANDA!)
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