Posted on 03/18/2005 10:01:03 AM PST by TheBigB
Howdy, gang! Wish I were a bit more up for today, but I'm trying to fight off a (Ah-CHOO!) cold. :^) Anyway. I'll leave it up to you all to post stuff, because I think I'm about to head home for the day. Have fun and enjoy! And thanks to Fierce_Allegiance for getting last week's thread running in my absence. I'll be back up to full strength next week. I promise. :^)
Almost....
I have a diffierent one deep in my files from a few years back, but it's reaaaal big. You get to see the @#N7 but not the tree.
I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say, the Help Desk employee was fired, however he is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause." This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I know why they record these conversations) starts here:
Employee--"Rich Hall, Computer Assistance; may I help you?"
Customer--"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Employee--"What sort of trouble?"
Customer--"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden, the words went away."
Employee--"Went away?"
Customer--"They disappeared."
Employee--"Hmmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Customer--"Nothing."
Employee--"Nothing?"
Customer--"It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I type."
Employee--"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
Customer--"How do I tell?"
Employee--"Can you see the 'C:' prompt on the screen?"
Customer--"What is a sea prompt?"
Employee--"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Customer--"There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Employee--"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
Customer--"What's a monitor?"
Employee--"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
Customer--"I don't know"
Employee--"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
Customer--"Yes, I think so."
Employee--"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
Customer--"Yes, it is."
Employee--"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
Customer--"No."
Employee--"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Customer--"Okay, here it is."
Employee--"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Customer--"I can't reach."
Employee--"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
Customer--"No."
Employee--"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
Customer--"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's because it's dark."
Employee--"Dark?"
Customer--"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
Employee--"Well, turn on the office light then."
Customer--"I can't."
Employee--"No? Why not?"
Customer--"Because there's a power failure."
Employee--"A power.......a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and the packing stuff your computer came in?"
Customer--"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Employee--"Good.. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from".
Customer--"Really? Is it that bad?"
Employee--"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Customer--"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
Employee--"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer...
I'm stealing it!
Nice!
You think you're having a bad day, check this out:
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
Should I be concerned about Dihydrogen Monoxide?
Yes, you should be concerned about DHMO! Although the U.S. Government and the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) do not classify Dihydrogen Monoxide as a toxic or carcinogenic substance (as it does with better known chemicals such as hydrochloric acid and saccharine), DHMO is a constituent of many known toxic substances, diseases and disease-causing agents, environmental hazards and can even be lethal to humans in quantities as small as a thimbleful.
http://www.dhmo.org
I'm not concerned about water. :^)
I'm with you!
I'm at the office with a box of tissues and a cup of tea - sneezing and wheezing my way through meetings.
Yuck!
LOL!..That is absurd!..Exotic dancer's wedding?
Sorry about the sniffles, Big. Could you put me on your ping list please.
Friday Silliness Ping......
Thank heavens I had no liquids nearby..ROFLOL!
I don't think so.......I wish I had bookmarked the page!
You forgot the duct tape.
If you can't fix it with a hammer or screw driver, use tape.
It also works on out of control children but it takes a lot.
Ole comes home early one day and finds Lena sitting on the edge of the bed naked. "Lena!" he exclaims, "Whatcha doin dere wit no clothes on?" She replies, "I dont have no clothes on cuz I aint got nuthin to wear!" "Whadya mean ya got nuthin to wear?" Olie goes over to the closet and starts taking out clothes. "Here's a red dress, here's a blue dress, here's a green dress, here's Sven, here's a brown dress..."
Ole comes home early one day and finds Lena sitting on the edge of the bed naked. "Lena!" he exclaims, "Whatcha doin dere wit no clothes on?" She replies, "I dont have no clothes on cuz I aint got nuthin to wear!" "Whadya mean ya got nuthin to wear?" Olie goes over to the closet and starts taking out clothes. "Here's a red dress, here's a blue dress, here's a green dress, here's Sven, here's a brown dress..."
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