Posted on 03/18/2005 10:01:03 AM PST by TheBigB
Howdy, gang! Wish I were a bit more up for today, but I'm trying to fight off a (Ah-CHOO!) cold. :^) Anyway. I'll leave it up to you all to post stuff, because I think I'm about to head home for the day. Have fun and enjoy! And thanks to Fierce_Allegiance for getting last week's thread running in my absence. I'll be back up to full strength next week. I promise. :^)
Add me to that list. I was afraid it was the flu. Turned out to be allergies followed up by a very nice sinus infection.
I always heard you should go to men's funerals looking for dates. You know there will be at least one single woman there.....
A singles bar.
Why was Michael Jackson's latest album release delayed?
He got a little behind.
-Eric
"I'd like a second opinion, Doc", I say
he says "Ok. You're ugly too!!
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. - Robin Williams
I thought I was dead once. Turned out I was just really bored.
Feel
Better B BIG!
Not to mention, have you ever seen a cheerier group of people at a wedding?
*sniffle*
Velcome to da Lutern Airlines! Da latest air service to sprout up in Minnesnowta vit service to Visconsin, Nort Dah-kota and sometimes Sout Dah-kota.
Ve are a no-frills ariline. We are all in da same boat on Lutern Air, vere flying is an uplifting experience, so velcome aboard. I am Lena Ingvist, yer flight attendant and stewardess, tew.
As you know, dere is no first class on Lutern Airlines, airflight tew tousand tventy tew. Meals are pot luck: rows 1 tru 6 ver to bring da lefsa; 7 tru 15, da salad, 16 tru 21, da main hot-dish, and 22-30 da rommegrot.
Ve vill be singing 99 bottles uv beer on da vall, so basses and tenors pleess sit in da rear of da aircraft, and remember everyvun is responsible for der own baggage.
All fares are free-vil offering and the plane vil not land until da budget is met.
Direct yer attention to yer flight attendent who vill acqvaint yew wit da saftety system aboard this Lutern Tvin Yet 599.
Okay, den listen up; I'm only gonna say dis vunce. In da event of sudden loss uv cabin pressure, I am frankly gonna be real surprised, so vill Captain Olsson, becuz ve vill be flying right around 2 tousand feet, so loss of cabin pressure vud prolly indicate the Second Coming or somting of dat nature, so I vuldn't bodder vit dem little masks on dem rubber tubes. Yer gonna have bigger tings to vorry about dan yust dat. Just stuff dose tings back up in der littl holes. Prolly da masks fell out because of turbulence, which to be honest wit yew, we've been flying at 2 tousand feet and dat is sort of like driving across a plowed field, but after a vile, you vill get used to it.
In da ewent of a vater landing, I'd say yust fergit it. Start saying Da Lord's prayer and yust hope you have time to git to da part about forgive us our sins as ve forgive dose who sint against us (vich some people say "tresspass against us", vich isn't right., but den, vat can ya dew? )
Use uv cell phones is strictly forbidden, not becuz dey interfere vit the planes navigational system, vich, by da vay, is "seat of the pants all da vay". No, cell phones is a pain in da wazoo, and if God had meant yew to use dem, he vould have put yer mout on da side of yer head, so stow dose suckers!
Ve're gonna start lunch, buffet style vit da coffee pot up front. First, ve'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pocket right in front of yew. Don't take yers wit you ven you go or I am going to be real upset wit yew, and I ain't kiddin' edder!
So lets say grace:
Come Lord Jesus, be our gest, and let dese gifts tew us be blest. Fadder, Son and Holy Ghost, May ve land in Dulut or pretty close
Amen
Tanks for flying Lutern Airlines, flight tew tousand tventy tew....
not at all,hugs! ;]
Bridal gown? Or belly dancing outfit???
this is beyond funny. tears in my eyes. can't see tthe streen...screen.
That HAS GOT to be an Eastern European wedding.
Dear lord,
Give me a few minutes,
But I think I know where she bought it!
BTW,
It's Turkish made.
It is known that men & women have different tolerances for pain. That is because man can only focus on one thing at a time, and that's all we really want to focus on anyway.
Women, on the other hand can think about multiple things at once to help defray the pain, like remembering every friggin word of every sentence and the utmost important thing in the universe to women - SHOES!
Try Zicam.
I heard about it from Rush of course, but actually tried it and it helps the symptoms.
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. - Billy Crystal
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