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What Your Drink Says About You (very funny)
funtimes.com ^ | 12/04 | staff

Posted on 03/15/2005 3:07:01 PM PST by pissant

Bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman's personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results (female):

Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to Earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, annoying; a pain in the butt. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Your Approach: You won't have to approach her. She'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine - (does not include white zinfandel, see below) Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated. Your Approach: Tell her you wish Reagan had had four more years . . . Alzheimer's and term limits be damned.

Drink: White Zin Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually has no clue. Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...

Drink: Shots Personality: Hanging with frat-boy pals or looking to get drunk...and naked. Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.

Then there is the male addendum .... The deal with guys is, as always, = very simple and clear cut.

Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get some.

Imported Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get some.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image to help him get some.

Whiskey: He doesn't give two rats about anything but getting some.

Tequila: Piss off, all you wankers, I'm gonna go shag something.

White Zin: He's gay.

(Excerpt) Read more at funtown.com ...


TOPICS: Agriculture
KEYWORDS: alcohol; beer; zoinks
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To: pissant
Then I'll expect you'll send me a drink if I see you in a smoky bar! ;o)

If you can find a bar in NY where you can smoke, let me know!!!!

61 posted on 03/15/2005 3:40:22 PM PST by Gewittermädchen (The best minds are not in government...Ronald Reagan)
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To: Dashing Dasher
Speaking of chick magnets....

I saw this unsightly fellow driving a Ferrari the other day.

He got out and geekily walked into the restaurant, severe comb over and all.

And I thought to myself.... there isn't enough $$$ in the world...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++


62 posted on 03/15/2005 3:40:46 PM PST by yankeedame ("Born with the gift of laughter and a sense that the world was mad.")
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To: pissant

I drink shots (Stoli) but I would never hang with fratboys. I like my men with some intelligence!


63 posted on 03/15/2005 3:41:51 PM PST by Vor Lady
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To: dakine

Unfortunately, after too many Guinnesses (or Guinni) it's tough to tell the chicks from the dudes...


64 posted on 03/15/2005 3:41:55 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: yankeedame

I really miss Leisure Suit Larry!
That was such a fun game on the PC - back before Al Gore invented the internet!

Thanks for the memories!


65 posted on 03/15/2005 3:42:05 PM PST by Dashing Dasher (Hard things are put in our way, not to stop us, but to call out our courage and strength.)
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To: Grannyx4

Just go easy on the stoli, otherwise the frat boys might start looking yummy to ya. ;o)


66 posted on 03/15/2005 3:43:46 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: pissant
This is from the older woman at the end of the bar......

;)

67 posted on 03/15/2005 3:45:20 PM PST by colorcountry (All the people like us are we, and everyone else is They. ...Rudyard Kipling)
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To: colorcountry

Darn, I get the whole bottle?


68 posted on 03/15/2005 3:46:25 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: pissant

69 posted on 03/15/2005 3:47:08 PM PST by SilentServiceCPOWife ("It's a good life...if you don't weaken." - - my grandmother)
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To: SilentServiceCPOWife

Nevermind, I'll buy you a drink!


70 posted on 03/15/2005 3:48:38 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: pissant
Darn, I get the whole bottle?

You deserve it...this day has been a pretty boring news day. I've been waiting for a pissant post to perk me up.

Try saying that 10 time after a whole bottle of Beefeater. .

...pissant post to perk me up...pissant post to perk me up

71 posted on 03/15/2005 3:50:22 PM PST by colorcountry (All the people like us are we, and everyone else is They. ...Rudyard Kipling)
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To: pissant

I find your threads very interesting.


72 posted on 03/15/2005 3:53:10 PM PST by Neets (;-))
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Comment #73 Removed by Moderator

To: pissant

Unlike the young lady in the picture, I am well above the legal drinking age. ;-)


74 posted on 03/15/2005 3:55:19 PM PST by SilentServiceCPOWife ("It's a good life...if you don't weaken." - - my grandmother)
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To: colorcountry

I drink Tequila AND White Zin.

So piss off you wankers or I'll shag you!


75 posted on 03/15/2005 3:55:30 PM PST by BubbaTex (Long time lurker)
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To: colorcountry

Well, I can't be responsible for my actions after a whole bottle of Beefeaters!! (Might have to join Billy Joel in rehab)


76 posted on 03/15/2005 3:55:51 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: Neets

Interesting as in "interesting" or as in "who the hell is this nut!"


77 posted on 03/15/2005 3:56:57 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: Baynative

Yeah, I'm forwarding you my address for you to send me that Oban...


78 posted on 03/15/2005 3:57:46 PM PST by pissant (good steak!)
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To: SilentServiceCPOWife

LOVE the pic!!!!


79 posted on 03/15/2005 3:58:14 PM PST by Fintan (Door number two, Monty...)
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To: pissant

Some of us females, especially if we're Geminis, sip from many vats, depending on our mood:

1. Real ale (all the time)
2. Margaritas (summer)
3. Manhattans; excellent Port (winter)


80 posted on 03/15/2005 3:58:54 PM PST by LibFreeOrDie (How do you spell dynasty? P-A-T-R-I-O-T-S!)
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