[meanie monster]

Thank you all so much. Even the ones that have flamed me. I know people are very suspicious of posters and I am totally being honest. I was around here for years. I used to be puddleduck or puddle duck, check it out.

[Tuscaloosa Goldfinch]

Hi. The suggestions to call some post abortion counselors are right on. I would bet that ANYONE you talk to there HAS BEEN IN YOUR SHOES, and I think what you need is HOPE! HOPE that you can be at peace, be happy, and to be able to forgive yourself and stop hating yourself -- and stop having a screen name that lets us know how much pain you're in.

I believe your child is with the Lord, and you can always ask the Lord to tell your child how you are feeling now (He probably already has) and to ask your child's forgiveness. And ask the Lord to let you know you are forgiven, and then, honey, you need to forgive yourself. Confess and forsake, get your past to the cross, and that's all the Lord requires. He loves you.

[Veto!]

Have you considered going back to Puddle Duck? I don't like to think that you consider yourself a meanie or a monster. It's time to be compassionate with yourself and move in new and more positive directions. Start today. Heck, sign up as BeautifulLady and see if you don't feel better.

You're very brave to reach out for help. I can only imagine the anguish that drove you to seek it here in your Freeper family. Rest assured that everyone here has your best interests at heart. There's some really good advice on this thread. I can only echo advice to call your local AA immediately, tonight. Women in that group will give you help, guidance, support, and will love you until you can love yourself. Do it!