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Here's to you, Mrs Robinson (Why are men attracted to older women?)
Ivillage ^ | 3/2/05 | staff

Posted on 03/04/2005 6:05:40 AM PST by pissant

Why are men attracted to older women? Experience, wisdom, confidence and lots of practice in bed, says Vincent Jackson When I was a teenager, my mother's stock response to jokes I made about her advancing years was, 'There's many a good tune played on an old fiddle.' Of course I never really wanted to think about my mother playing a tune of any kind. However, my acne-faced classmates appeared to both understand about fiddles and know what fine melodies could be played on them. Perhaps that's why they'd continually remark: 'phwoar, I'd give yer mum one'!

Men's infatuations with older women start as soon as we're old enough to know what women are. And this curiosity surrounding the potential for pleasure with maturer females stays with us until, well - the day comes when there aren't any women left in the world older than us.

To be frank, men are initially drawn to older women (for our purposes, 'older' means at least 10 years senior) for sex. For example, Ben, a 26-year-old web designer, has been seeing a woman of 43 for nearly a year. She's reasonably affluent - has paid off her mortgage and has a two bedroom flat in North London. She also has a good career, is intellectual, very attractive, and according to Ben, 'the best shag I've ever had.'

Every single bloke I spoke to said sex was the best thing about being in a relationship with an older woman.

I imagine that their female conquests know this is the case. Let's not pull any punches here. Do you think for a minute that a 25-year-old man makes a play for a 40-year-old woman because he's interested in the Habitat crockery she may have accrued over time? Of course not. Older women tend to bring to bed a wealth of experience, confidence and tricks between the sheets that a young woman can only dream of. Show me a man who doesn't find the prospect of an experienced lover an exciting one, and I'll show you a liar

However, being an older woman doesn't necessarily guarantee good sex - if you're no good in bed at 25, who's to say you'll be a fully qualified love-goddess at 40? Yet, older women give the impression that they're better in bed because they're more comfortable with themselves. All those hang-ups about having a slight tummy, stretch marks or the odd spot of cellulite tend to become less important with age. A few of the men I spoke to insisted that they found these flaws attractive - a sign of a body that is real and lived in. As Ben says of his older lover, 'She's much more relaxed about herself and her body than many of the girls my age that I've slept with. She knows that her body is showing slight signs of ageing, but she accepts it and just gets on with life.'

Of course, sex is not the only allure of a younger man, older woman partnership. In fact, it would be easy to question why some men want to date women roughly the same age as their mothers, especially when the spectre of Oedipus looms so large. Ultimately, however, a bloke's motivation doesn't need to subjected to Freudian psychoanalysis. Put simply, mature women are, well, mature - they are older and wiser in their world view, and that's what a young man finds attractive.

By the time a woman reaches her mid-thirties, she's acquired confidence, the art of conversation, her own individual perspective on life and, most importantly, wisdom - a very sexy trait. Older women generally know what they want from life and in love and this can be refreshing after the annoying and frustrating relationship games so many younger women play. Older women also tend to be - well, richer - and sometimes young men get fed up with dining out at Spud-U-Like.

What about me? I've never had the pleasure of dating an older woman, but I'm 28 so there's still time. Since the age of 12 I've had various crushes on older ladies - teachers, family friends, the woman who worked in the video shop, a few non-blood related aunties (slightly dubious territory, I admit), and, just like my old school friends, my mates' mums. But I've never actually taken the plunge. However, I'm sure there's a fiddle out there with my name on it, and when I do get my chance, I'm certain its strings will yield some mighty fine music.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: genderwars; hotties
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To: ORECON
I was twenty-two working in the Aladdin Hotel and Casino. One day a 40-something accountant from Boston walked up to my window and began chatting me up. She was attractive and wanted to learn how to gamble (I always fell for that one) so we met after work for drinks and gambling lessons.
We were successful at craps, blackjack and even roulette. One thing led to another and I took her to my apartment.
After returning her to her hotel following a very wonderful (and educational) encounter, I found $80 on my dresser...I felt so used.
81 posted on 03/04/2005 11:29:33 AM PST by Snardius
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To: pissant

I think young impressionable boys can't resist the charm and beauty of older women like the one above who used her position as teacher to find her some young stuff.

82 posted on 03/04/2005 11:34:48 AM PST by A CA Guy (God Bless America, God bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: pissant
Women in their early 40s tend to "fill out" in the right places. They also know what they are doing. Women in their late 30s, early 40s are also not the annoyingly stuck up b-tches that they were in their early-mid 20s.

Clemenza, age 28.

83 posted on 03/04/2005 11:36:33 AM PST by Clemenza (Alcohol Tobacco & Firearms: The Other Holy Trinity)
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To: pissant

BTW: My attraction to older women has NOTHING to do with the graduate.


84 posted on 03/04/2005 11:36:58 AM PST by Clemenza (Alcohol Tobacco & Firearms: The Other Holy Trinity)
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To: Clemenza

It was Glenn Close in fatal attraction?


85 posted on 03/04/2005 11:41:05 AM PST by pissant
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To: A CA Guy

Zoinks


86 posted on 03/04/2005 11:41:21 AM PST by pissant
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To: Snardius

As an adult, all of my girlfriends took half of my stuff when they left. I felt so used.


87 posted on 03/04/2005 11:43:15 AM PST by ORECON (The FAA (Fanatics Anonymous Association) provides 12-step therapy for your obsession.)
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To: pissant
Nope, it was 1. a Spanish teacher in high school and 2. accidently walking into a dressing room at Bloomingdales and seeing a drop dead gorgeous 40 year old in stockings and a corset.

I've been screwed up ever since...

88 posted on 03/04/2005 11:44:59 AM PST by Clemenza (Alcohol Tobacco & Firearms: The Other Holy Trinity)
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To: martin_fierro
'There's many a good tune played on an old fiddle

I'm going out right now to look for an old fiddle. Here's hoping I run into a young flute beforehand.

89 posted on 03/04/2005 12:23:23 PM PST by beyond the sea (Barbara Boxer is Barbra Streisand on peyote .....)
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To: pissant

Older women, make beautiful lovers
Older women, they understand
I've been around some, and I have discovered
That older women know just how to please a man.

(Verse)
Everybody seems to love those younger women
From eighteen on up to twenty-five
Well I love 'em too, but I'm tellin' you
Learnin' how to really love, takes a little time.

(Verse)
So baby don't you worry about growin' older
Those young girls ain't got nothin' in you
'Cause it takes some livin', to get good at givin'
And givin' love is just where you could teach them a thing or two.


90 posted on 03/04/2005 12:29:28 PM PST by WKB (You can half the good and double the bad people say about themselves.)
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To: WKB

Original or borrowed?


91 posted on 03/04/2005 12:31:50 PM PST by pissant
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To: pissant; WKB


Original or borrowed?








Who cares?
LOL!


92 posted on 03/04/2005 12:35:48 PM PST by onyx (Henry Kissinger: Asked if SoS Rice calls him, replied, "no never, she doesn't need advice.")
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To: pissant

http://www.cowboylyrics.com/tabs/mcdowall-ronnie/older-women-3838.html

Anything else?


93 posted on 03/04/2005 12:36:20 PM PST by WKB (You can half the good and double the bad people say about themselves.)
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To: Snardius

You should feel great - you got some cash out of it besides - w/o the asking! ;-)


94 posted on 03/04/2005 12:36:27 PM PST by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue.)
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To: onyx; pissant

That was a rather popular country tune in the early '80s.


95 posted on 03/04/2005 12:38:52 PM PST by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue.)
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To: the OlLine Rebel

Those Country songs have THEE BEST lyrics.


96 posted on 03/04/2005 12:40:00 PM PST by onyx (Henry Kissinger: Asked if SoS Rice calls him, replied, "no never, she doesn't need advice.")
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To: the OlLine Rebel; onyx; WKB

"That was a rather popular country tune in the early '80s."
____________________________________________

Thanks for the enlightenment. I was still in the "only Rock & Roll" phase in the early '80s.


97 posted on 03/04/2005 12:41:35 PM PST by pissant
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To: Auntbee

Does he have a friend :)??


98 posted on 03/04/2005 12:43:13 PM PST by najida (The most wonderful sound in the world is a baby's belly laugh.)
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To: ValerieUSA
The last thing I'm looking for now is a lifetime of divorce consequences (including bitterness) with a twice or thrice divorced man ... and that eliminates almost all the men around my age.

Ditto...and as I jokingly said on another thread, I don't want to be their nurse/CPR provider either.

99 posted on 03/04/2005 12:46:02 PM PST by najida (The most wonderful sound in the world is a baby's belly laugh.)
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To: pissant

I remember the tune as it was sung, and I'm hearing Alabama or the Oak Ridge Boys, but I can't be sure. It's been ages since I heard that. Ages. But it's still stuck in my head from some TV show I was watching at the time.


100 posted on 03/04/2005 12:51:50 PM PST by the OlLine Rebel (Common sense is an uncommon virtue.)
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