*** UNOFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD ***

TheBigB | 2.18.05 | n/a

[Thom Pain]

"Not if you have Dyslexia. LOL"

Is there really a Dog? I've been up all night wondering!

[loboinok]

Is there really a Dog? I've been up all night wondering!

Yup, doG ythgimlA... llew peelS (^;

[tx_eggman]

Ooooh, I got a new tag line

Glad to be of assistance

[Americanwolf]

For the Love of penguins no OFFICE SPACE references!

I am living that movie right now. :)

[Radix]

 

 Epitaphs From Near And Far

---

1. Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
       Here lies
       Johnny Yeast
       Pardon me
       For not rising.

   ---

2. Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery:
       Here lies the body
       of Jonathan Blake
       Stepped on the gas
       Instead of the brake.

   ---

3. In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
       Here lays Butch,
       We planted him raw.
       He was quick on the trigger,
       But slow on the draw.

   ---

4. A lawyer's epitaph in England:
       Sir John Strange
       Here lies an honest lawyer,
       And that is Strange.

   ---

5. Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
       I was somebody.
       Who, is no business
       Of yours.

   ---

6. Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in
   the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in
   Tombstone, Arizona:
       Here lies Lester Moore
       Four slugs from a .44
       No Les No More.

   ---

7. In a Georgia cemetery:
       "I told you I was sick!"

   ---

8. John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:
       Reader if cash thou art
       In want of any
       Dig 4 feet deep
       And thou wilt find a Penny.

   ---

9. On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery Richmond, Virginia:
       She always said her feet were killing her
       but nobody believed her.

   ---

10. In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
        On the 22nd of June
        - Jonathan Fiddle -
        Went out of tune.

    ---

11. Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont has an epitaph that
    sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:
        Here lies the body of our Anna
        Done to death by a banana
        It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
        But the skin of the thing that made her go.

    ---

12. More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:
        Gone away
        Owin' more
        Than he could pay.

    ---

13. Someone in Winslow, Maine didn't like Mr. Wood:
        In Memory of Beza Wood
        Departed this life
        Nov. 2, 1837
        Aged 45 yrs.
        Here lies one Wood
        Enclosed in wood
        One Wood
        Within another.
        The outer wood
        Is very good:
        We cannot praise
        The other.

    ---

14. On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
        Under the sod and under the trees
        Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
        He is not here, there's only the pod:
        Pease shelled out and went to God.

    ---

15. The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania is almost a consumer tip:
        Who was fatally burned
        March 21, 1870
        by the explosion of a lamp
        filled with "R.E. Danforth's
        Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"

    ---

16. Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
        Born 1903 - Died 1942
        Looked up the elevator shaft to see if
        the car was on the way down.
        It was.

    ---

17. In a cemetary in England:
        Remember man, as you walk by,
        As you are now, so once was I,
        As I am now, so shall you be,
        Remember this and follow me.
            - To which someone replied by writing on the tombstome:
                To follow you I'll not consent,
                Until I know which way you went.

    ---

18. On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
        Here lies Ezekial Aikle
        Age 102
        The Good Die Young.

    ---

19. In a London, England cemetery:
        Here lies Ann Mann,
        Who lived an old maid
        But died an old Mann.
        Dec. 8, 1767

    ---

20. A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:
        Sacred to the memory of
        my husband John Barnes
        who died January 3, 1803
        His comely young widow, aged 23, has
        many qualifications of a good wife, and
        yearns to be comforted.

    ---

21. In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
        The children of Israel wanted bread
        And the Lord sent them manna,
        Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
        And the Devil sent him Anna.

    ---

22. In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
        Here lies an Atheist
        All dressed up
        And no place to go.

[bigjoesaddle]

INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE

1. Get drunk.

2. Stay drunk.

[Valin]

GROAN!!!
A good pun is it's own reword

[Khurkris]

btt

[wingblade]

If a guy uses the word "goodies" as in "I spent $40 for goodies from Starbucks" is it pretty much a slam dunk he's gay?
IMHO: If a guy is straight, goodies means sex.

Unless, he's just stepping into the shower or hot tub on a winter's night with one or two of his best girls. Oh, gOOdie, gOOdie!

[Fierce Allegiance]

Glad you enjoyed this edition of the friday silly thread!

[motormouth]

ping