Posted on 02/04/2005 11:15:45 AM PST by TASMANIANRED
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but,it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (news flash!)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly British Airways?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
(Certified cause of Post Traumatic Redhead Syndrome)
You too?....LOL!
Red is my hair not my politics.
Dogs like anything with a high fat content. The slicker the better.
I had a dog call once where a boxer had eaten a quart bottle (by volume) of neats foot oil.
Dog probably made a goose look constipated.
Mine too.
I also have geese.
[thanks for the *horrible* mental image]...:-P
Horrible mental images are good for you.
If you pick up an item like a chain saw and say "This sure would make a mess of my hand if I tried to stop it with my fingers" instead of "stop it with my hands cool idea" then you don't need no stinking labels.
*shrug*
When I was a kid, very few items had "warning labels".
In spite of being a little ridge-running hellcat, somehow I managed to survive with all the parts God originally gave me.
I used to use baby powder on the sliding board to make it slicker and I used baby powder on the tile floors and slid with my stocking feet.
The power of mom was the only warning label that I needed.
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