*** OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD ***

self

[TheBigB]

Woo hoo! TGIF! After receiving various requests, here is today's OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD! Enjoy! :) As always, feel free to post jokes, silly pics, nonsensical statements, or even to IGNORE THIS THREAD!

To get started...

No threads allowed, but '80s teen-pop icon Debbie (scuze me, Deborah) Gibson will be in PLAYBOY next month: http://www.eonline.com/News/Items/0,1,15787,00.html

"Yay, Friday silliness!" :^)

Visit my ULTIMATE vanity thread! : http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1325326/posts

"Sea Creatures Rule! WA-ter! WA-ter!"

[TheBigB]

"Yay, Friday silliness!"

[Red Badger]

DUmmies MASCOT!

[Rummyfan]

FIVE PRICELESS GRANDPARENT STORIES---


> A little girl was diligently pounding away on her father's word
>>
>> processor. She told him she was writing a story.
>>
>> "What's it about?" he asked.
>>
>> "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."
>>
>>
>> A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were
>>
>> ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell
>>
>> her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shall not take the
>>
>> covers off thy neighbor's wife."
>>
>>

---

>>
. Our five-year-old son couldn't wait to tell his father about the
>>
>> movie we had watched on television, "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea." The
>>
>> scenes with the submarine and the giant octopus had kept him wide-eyed.
>>
>> In the middle of the telling, my husband interrupted Mark, "What caused
>>
>> the submarine to sink?"
>>
>> With a look of incredulity Mark replied, "Dad, it was the 20,000
>>
>> leaks!!"
>>
>>

---

>>. When my grandson, Billy, and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept
>>
>> the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky
>>
>> insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I
>>
>> did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming
>>
>> after us with flashlights."
>>

>>
>> Subject: Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant,"
>>
>> said a teacher.
>>
>> The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
>>
>> The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what
>>
>> pregnant means?" she asked.
>>
>> Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
>>
>>

---

>>
>> A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He
>>
>> had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her
>>
>> life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green
>>
>> army men in the cup. She said, "Honey, what are these army men doing in
>>
>> my coffee?" Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV, "The best part of waking up
>>
>> is soldiers in your cup!"

[Fierce Allegiance]

[cyborg]

LOL lord have mercy

[TheBigB]

Hmmm....whenever I think of HOOTERS, large, overinflated ballon-like objects just never come to mind. :^)

[jriemer]

Is this what you ment to post?

[najida]

My diswasher ;)

[al baby]

and the man next door shot himself."

Bill Clinton ?

[shield]

BTTT

[TheBigB]

Boy, times sure have changed...

[nuconvert]

Imperial Leather ..................LOL

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1330086/posts

[TheBigB]

Who 'zere?

[TheBigB]

Blunt advertising works!

[al baby]

[trisham]

The rabbi looks up and says, "Oy! Preaching to the bear was easy, but he got a bit touchy about the circumcision."

*************

I'll bet! LOL!!

[G.Mason]

[TheBigB]

Sign outside of BigB's bachelor pad ;^)

[JimWforBush]

Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke

Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and bun! s in packages of eight.

Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many! ' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

[Bella_Bru]

DOG FOR SALE:

A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale."

He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador Retriever sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government; so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars."

The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that shit."