[vannrox]

LOL

[JimHorn]

If you don't know who you are, a casino is an expensive place to find out.

If you're at a card table, and within five minutes you haven't figured out who the rookie is, it's you.

[TheBigB]

He who laughs last was too dumb to understand the joke.

[GSlob]

Everything is possible [and easy, too] as long as there is somebody else to do it.

[MineralMan]

I've already seen these. Is this news?

[socal_parrot]

nyuck, nyuck, nyuck...

[norraad]

A good listener is the best talker.

[ShadowDancer]

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

This has been around for eons and for good reason. 99.9% of the time, it is absolutely true.

[peacebaby]

How about these?

What goes around, comes around.

The higher you rise, the harder you fall.

[escapefromboston]

It's not a lie, if you believe it.

George Costanza.

[escapefromboston]

It's not a lie, if you believe it.

George Costanza.

[tx_eggman]

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. ~George Burns

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. ~Alex Levine

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. ~Will Rogers

[atomicweeder]

Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement.

[highnoon]

"In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language." -- Mark Twain

"Buy land. They've stopped making it." -- Mark Twain

"Sacred cows make the best hamburger." -- Mark Twain

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes." -- Mark Twain

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure." -- Mark Twain

[Big Horn]

A hard man is good to find.

[theDentist]

Beware the articulate, for they are practiced liars.

[Centurion2000]

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

Amen

[evilC]

The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

[iconoclast]

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

I like 'em except for maybe this one:

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking arguing.

[Sergio]

No good deed goes unpunished.

Interchangeable parts won't.

Reward for a job well done is lack of punishment.

[muir_redwoods]

I used this a day ago on another thread but;

An economist is someone who wonders if a thing that works in practice will work in theory.