Getting Plowed...In (Vanity)

Me | 1/15/2004 | Snardius

[Snardius]

I am tired of getting plowed in...I need your help.

[Snardius]

I live in a residential area in the county of eastern Washington State. When we get snow, my neighbors and I dutifully clear our driveways and wait for the inevitable snow plow. The county is charged with snow removal which means they plow both residential and rural access roads.

My problem is that when the grader clears the road it leaves a 3ft. tall, 4ft. wide berm of ice chunks in front of my driveway that I must shovel out before I can leave my house. It's a difficult, heavy-lifting job which gets worse if you can't get to it immediately after the plow leaves. And if I try to blast through it I risk getting high-centered.

I have called my county commissioner and after a couple of exchanges, he has handed me off to the county chief engineer whose attitude is that putting a "boot" on the plow blade (to carry the accumulated snow beyond the driveway) is an "expensive luxury."

How is snow removal handled where you live (no comments from those of you in Palm Springs, please) and do you have any solutions to deal with a bureaucrat with an attitude?

[Celtjew Libertarian]

I live in Florida now, but I grew up in the snow belt of Upstate NY. That was basically what would happen to us, when the snow plow came by. IIRC, my father would use a snow blower on the driveway and, if need be, use a shovel to get the berm to a level the blower could handle. Unless we had to go somewhere by car immediately, he would wait for the plow have gone by, before clearing the driveway.

[Dog Gone]

This is pretty common. Did you just move there?

[Snardius]

No, I've been fighting this for years. I just got fed up with it this year.

[hoosiermama]

Had to be dug out by the neighbors backhoe after Christmas....We all waited for the plow to go by, before clearing the lanes.

[Snardius]

The irony of it is that I'm paying taxes to have my government plow me in and as a result I can't access the roads I'm paying to have cleared...

[JennysCool]

Funny you should post this because we're having the same problem in our city. crews used to plow the snow to the center of the street, leaving a big berm, but allowing people to carefully get around and to park in front of their homes. They changed the procedure this year and just plowed right down the center, leaving berms on either side of the street. This MIGHT have been all right, since the snow was fresh, but right after the plowing, the temps dropped to below zero and the hills of snow on either side of the streets froze solid. And I mean SOLID. We're talking WALLS. Thus, those who were parked on the street at the time of the plowing were unable to get their cars out, and those who were off working drove home to find big ridges of hardened snow blocking access to their homes. The city says it is presently "rethinking" the policy, in the wake of numerous complaints and more than a little auto damage as residents tried to deal with the situation. Sheesh.

[Dog Gone]

You're right about that.

[Jack of all Trades]

And if I try to blast through it I risk getting high-centered...

Try using det cord instead of the car.

Seriously though, it's a no-win situation. I used to try digging out the snow pile in the direction the plow would come, but it doesn't work, and I wound up shoveling twice. These days I try to get to it as soon as possible, before it freezes into ice.

[processing please hold]

Move to Louisiana. I can guarantee that you will never need to be plowed again.

[Snardius]

The city says it is presently "rethinking" the policy

The attitude of the county engineer is that it takes longer to clear the roads but I am not in a neighborhood which has a lot of cars parked on the street and in the areas where cars must be parked in the street, they require that the owners move them on the day they plow or they tow them at the owners expense.

[processing please hold]

P S

In the snow sense I mean.

[Snardius]

Move to Louisiana. I can guarantee that you will never need to be plowed again.

LOL, I had a friend who did that. He said the mosquitoes were the size of smalll aircraft. Thanks, but I'll endure the snow...

[Snardius]

P S In the snow sense I mean.

I'm a little dense this morning...what does P S mean?... in the snow sense, of course.

[JennysCool]

That would make sense. But nobody had an inkling they were changing their usual policy until they saw the results!

[processing please hold]

Yeah... the Mosquitoes can pick up and carry off small children and pets.

[Enterprise]

Just curious, since I live in Kaleefornia and never been plowed in - how long would it take for a propane tank with a weed burner attachment on it to melt such a wall?

[processing please hold]

P S = Post Script.....sorry

[patton]

There is an absolutely hilarious article about this that floats about the internet - if anybody has it handy, please post it!

In the meantime, buy your kid a snowauger, and tell him to get out of the house and make money.

I got a used one for about $200 (10 hp triple screw), my kid has made a fortune with it, and the entire neighborhood is happy.

[Dog Gone]

Diary of a Snow Shoveler

December 8:
6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9:
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.

December 12:
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. l don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14:
Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to - 20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. l didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15:
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16:
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, Which I think was very cruel.

December 17:
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20:
Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22:
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white sh*t fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to p**s. By the time I got undressed, p**sed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too busy. I think the asshole is lying.

December 23:
Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!?! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24:
6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a bitch who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the goddamn snowplow.

December 25:
Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to kill her.

December 26:
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27:
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.

December 28:
Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. THE BITCH is driving me crazy!!!!!

December 29:
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30:
Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.

December 31:
Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8:
I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?