Today was one of those Viagra days -- long and hard.
But have they tested it on cucumbers yet?
But if they stand up straight for longer than 4 hours, immediate medical attention is recommended.
Are you happy to see me or is that a banana in your pants?...
Flower boners!!?
... so many possible jokes here. Where to begin...?
Coming to a grocery near you... make sure you WASH THE VEGETABLES BEFORE YOU EAT THEM!
Pilferage in some workplaces will become a big problem !
hilarious
No more wilted lettuce, limp string beans...yikes!
Paging Mr. King.
Boy... imagine a woman gardener explaining to her doctor why she needed viagra...
Imagine the poor guy who shows up with a dozen long-stemmed red roses and sees the wife pop 'em into a vase... with his last Viagra.
Did you hear the Camille West song about a truck filled with Viagra crashing into a town's water supply?
Just outside of Johnson City on a dark and twisting road
In a Kenworth 18-wheeler with a heavy, shifting load
He was pushing through to Binghamton though the hour was getting late
Pfyzer’s finest on a mission to the pharmacies upstate
He was on a holy mission, there were men who couldn’t wait
(for his twenty thousand pounds of Viagra®)
He’d clocked seven hundred miles cince he climbed into the rig
Just another twenty five or so would finish up that gig
But the trailer hit an oil slick and down the hill did fly
‘til it landed at the bottom in the town’s water supply
It was instant rigor mortis,what a hard way to die
Chorus:
Save your sons, shield your daughters
There’s Viagra in the waters
All over Johnson City people rising with the dawn
They drank their morning coffee, took their showers, watered lawns
And who could have predicted all the changes up ahead?
Men were getting up for work, and heading back to bed
So many called in sick, you would have thought a virus spread
Down at the courthouse coffee shop some stared in disbelief
As a pack of thirsty lawyers started filling out their briefs
But at the local college young men appeared much smarter
No chromosomal mystery they simply studied harder
Now water on the rocks is the latest party starter
Chorus
Dr. Baker in geriatrics had to make it into town
Through the traffic at the drawbridge where the gates would not come down
And something told him he had found The fountain of youth
When a gaggle of old geezers grabbed his secretary Ruth
Yes the old men at the nursing home grew long in more than tooth
Chorus
The Johnson City firemen cursed their wretched luck
They could not get their fire hoses wound back on the truck
Sprinkling holy water at a funeral, Father Ryan said
"I know I’ve saved their souls, but I’ve never raised the dead.
Would a couple strong men help me now to close the casket lid?"
Chorus
Old man Weisberg took the shower of his life
Then he marched into the kitchen and he called out to his wife
She knew something was up as he stood naked at the table
Holding two cups of coffee and half a dozen bagels
It had been at least a decade since the last time he was able
Chorus
Believers seeking miracles, the pilgrims came in hordes
The waters of Viagragrew more popular than Lourdes
The clergy quoted scripture but they found it hard to sell
That those who chose to be anointed were pointed straight to hell
Despite the dire warnings the crowds began to swell
Some hardened politicians came into town one day
With their permits and their pipelines pumped the waters all away
From the heart of Johnson City rose the mournful cry of men
But the women knew another truck was coming through again
Don’t worry—there’s a truck next week, We’ll spread the oil again
