Posted on 12/29/2004 3:42:59 PM PST by Rakkasan1
It's 10 minutes before the show goes live on the air, and nobody predicted the developing dilemma.
The show's gossip reporter is having second thoughts about dropping his pants on live television to have his buttocks read by local television psychic Professor Jose Miranda.
What about reading it over my underwear?" asks the reporter, clearly upset and looking very serious.
"I can't see the lines. How do you expect me to give a reading?" the oracle answers, just as serious. "I have to see the lines."
Following an ardent debate, the producers of the phenomenally popular and raunchy late-night talk show La Cosa Nostra on Spanish-language WJAN-TV Channel 41 finally conclude Miranda must ascertain somebody else's future.
(Excerpt) Read more at sun-sentinel.com ...
Oh, someone please kill me now....
LOL!!!
It is an ill wind that blows!
heh heh... He said 'ascertain'... heh heh....
He was trained by the mistress herself:
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"Jacqueline Stallone has revived the ancient art of Rumpology. Just as a print of your fingerprint, palms, soles and ears tell a story, so does your rump. The lines, crevices and folds of your fanny, rear-end for those of you in the UK, can, to the trained eye, reveal your personality, fate and future in luck and love. So they thought in ancient India and Babylon and so they do today. The Greeks used palm and behind prints to determine health and fidelity. The Romans used the prints to determine potential talents and future success. The prints reveal your whole being.
Tea leaves, casting the bones, and reading coffee grounds, studying the stars in the night sky -- all have been used as a guide to the future, a beacon to show the way, and to impart confidence as we move forward into the unknown: your rumpology print and report will too!
Send a close up picture of your rear end by either using a digital camera or scanning a photo -- at least 800 pixels wide (see examples). Attach your image to the order form.
Jacqueline will read the image of your rump and you will receive...
http://www.jacquelinestallone.com/rumps.html"
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Just when I think I've seen everything. Maybe all these earthquakes and hurricanes and cataclysms are not just bad luck, maybe the fundies are right and these are the end times... I want my teddy.
"...Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together...!"
Her son must be so proud.
He read my future and said it was crappy....
Joke's on us if she makes more than he does. Frank been making any albums recently? I always thought he was pretty good.
I wonder if she advertises with the rest of the psychics in the back pages of Cosmopolitan, Jane, Complete Woman and the rest.
Are you trying to be the butt of jokes?
Me? I just like wise cracks...!
Now that you mention it, yes. Late night psychic would be a logical next career move for "Madame Kournikova." That is, if her investments tank. "A PE ratio is prahzzz divided by earnings..."
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I'm getting something -- Wait, I think I must adjust my, umm, antenna . . . |
Well, in Anna's case we'll have to dispense with a visual reading of the lines on her bottom and make use of the Braille method....
Psychic Forcast for Dec 29,2004
Prepared for J-LO
"If an opportunity arises in your future, please use your assets wisely"
Come on everyone, let's take a poll on if theFIRMbss and Prof. Miranda should team up on this one. Let's see...10...14...24...33...41...
Hey, your polls are rising.
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